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Well, I haven't been here in a while! I have missed reading everyone's progress and frustrations, and just everything! I feel like I let myself down last week, I was in major pain with my back, didn't exercise, didn't take my vitamins like I should have, didn't eat as much as I should have, UGH...I just didn't! I had to break down and see the chiropractor, by OMG, did it feel WONDERFUL!!! My lower back has been in so much pain. I've been walking like a little old lady once I get up from a sitting position! Not very attractive. My chiro did tell me something that I just didn't think of that I thought would be great to share...She said, "you've just lost 25 pounds...that's a significant amount and you are losing inches, your body now has to readjust and will continue to do so as long as you are losing weight. She said it works the same if you are gaining weight." She let me know that the body has to adjust so that it helps you carry the new weight properly. DUH!!! I never even thought of that! She also let me know that while I am losing my body will continue to shift and I may need adjustments throughout this new journey I am taking! Not feeling well really stinks...it just makes you not want to do anything...it's like My get up and GO, just got up and WENT!!! No warning, nothing, just gone! I know we all have off days or weeks, but please, I'm 2 pounds away from being under 200(FINALLY) and I will exercise this week, I will get back into my routine, and I will get under 200 by the end of next week(helps me to speak positive things to me!!!) I have to push myself, and it has been hard with this back of mine. So onward and upward here I gooooooooooooooo!!!!! I just think that this is the best journey of my life...and I'm so very blessed to be able to be on it! Thankful the scale is going down and not up anymore, thankful that I'm just not looking at food the same, thankful that my diabetes is slowly but surely subsiding! All these things I'm thankful for! I'm also thankful for everyone on here, reading your ups and downs, highs and lows, successes and failures, trials and errors, and just the everyday thoughts of this walk we are on...helps me make it through this very day! So...Trust in yourself...believe in who you are...YOU are a wonderful person. AND Don't "allow" anyone else to convince you differently! - My Hubs told me that! Gotta love that man!!!

To all the “KNOW IT ALL” posters in Bandland! I posted this elsewhere today and I’m adding it to my blog because I just had to get this off my chest! Why is that some people feel they are experts at what is right for anyone but themselves? When "newbies" or even veterans for that matter ask questions in this forum, it's because we are looking for advice and support. We are not looking for the know it all clipped and often times judgmental comments that are thrown out to refute the actual helpful advice of other bandsters. These comments come in almost exact succession to the postings of certain people who are actually helpful in their comments and advice, and these judgmental postings are really starting to bug me. If you think this comment was about you, then it probably was and I hit my target audience. My advice to you is that perhaps you should take all that you know and apply it personally and then edit the content again before you hit post. Or I'm sure there will be more people who will start refuting your comments and judging you for your tone and countering you on your expertise. Last I checked you were not registered as a Lapband Surgeon, Doctor, PA, or spokesman. It's really all just your opinions that would be better served minus the judgmental tone. Thank you.

Hi Terry, Just got off the phone with my hubby a little while ago, and you know he said the same thing to me. "I miss eating". I can understand that, but in the same breath we are both grateful for the band restriction.

Everything has been moving so fast that I thought I should take a moment out of my day to document how it is I got to where I am today. Let's go waaayyyyyy back..... I was 17 years old and started developing depression. I ballooned up to 206 lbs from 145 lbs. (I am 5:7") I was mortified to see the scale go over 200 lbs. I immediately started counting calories and riding my bike. in a matter of 8 months I dropped down to 156 lbs. I was delighted. (what I wouldn't give to weigh 206 today) For the next 10 or 11 years I hungout between 152 and 158. Partly because I was a "professional" dancer and the amount of exercise I got everyday was awesome. July of 1993 I found out I was pregnant. I had mixed emotions, but overal was happy. The day I found out I was pregnant I weighed myself. I was 158 lbs and in really good shape. I figured I had this pregnancy thing under control. Ha ha ha. I was contantly sick and tired. The only bad thing is I never threw up. So I ate and slept my way through my pregnancy and gained a whopping 100 lbs. This is where the struggle begins. For the last 19 years I have been all over the place on the scale. Anywhere from 172 to 301. About eight years ago I dieted and lost 90 pounds. I looked great. Did all the plastics and everything. But slowly over the years the weight has been piling on. My bipolar medication has not helped the situation out either. November 14, 2012 I was diagnosed with Celiac's Disease..... I immediately had to go gluten-free. You know what has gluten in it? EVERY FN Thing!!!! I though god has answered my prayers and has now made it impossible to eat crap food without getting extremely sick. Everyone said I would definitely be losing weight. Well I proved them wrong. In a matter of 8 months I lost 14 pounds. whoopie! So there is the history.... Fast Forward to now..... My beautiful younger sister came to see me in June of this year. She is 4 years younger than I am, 5'6" and 140. She looks amazing. She was here to have some plastic surgery with my plastic surgeon. This brought me back to thinking what could I have done? Well...... nothing. I need a whole body makeover. Light Bulb! I am sooooo looking into bariatric surgery. My sister was in full support and support excited for me. So at my sisters next appt with the plastic surgeon, I asked for a referral for a bariatric surgeon. The plastic surgeon is so nice, he texted Dr. Zare right then to let him know I was coming and take good care of me. I made my appt. with Dr. Zare for August 1st. He was great and very thorough. It took me two weeks to think about things, but on August 15th, I paid the $500 program fee and things really started to move then. the next few days I went to see the psychologist and the NUT; both of whom wrote me glowing recommendation. Two weeks later my case was submitted to insurance. Then the clock stopped moving for two weeks while I waited to hear from the insurance company. Finally the news came. I was approved. Called the office to schedule my surgery October 22, 2013 and it is on like donkey kong! My pre-op appt is Oct 4 with the surgeon. I am so ready for this. I can hardly stand it. To Tell Or NOT To Tell I started off not going to tell ANYONE! This was my own little personal journey. Then as I became more comfortable, I told my family, then I told my manager at work to get the time off, and then I told a couple of friends. AND THEN I told my immediate co-workers on my team. I am no longer ashamed of my decision, but I am also not going to scream it from the mountain top either. I will be honest when asked and tell people on a need to know basis. So far I have not had one person react negatively to my decision. I have had nothing but an outpouring of support. Well these are all my personal thoughts for now. If you got this far reading this... Thanks. I really did this for myself, but just in case anyone else finds interest in it, I posted it for the whole VST to see. Bye for now Bonnie

If I compared myself to anyone else I would not be happy. Be happy with your results even if they are slow. Keep it going.

I've been thinking more seriously about running. I have had bad knees for a while but they are getting better and better the more weight I lose. I think I am going to start with Couch to 5K (maybe a few months from now) and once I do that, move on to the Zombies, Run! app. I'm not good with doing smart phone things and moving at the same time either, but I gather this one is pretty simple. https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/zombies-run!/id503519713?mt=8

So I did it. I am minus about 5 lbs of ... HAIR!! I could feel the weight coming off.. I was slightly freaked out, but knew it was something I've always wanted to do. My G/F was not too happy. But she'll get over it. It usually takes me 2-3 days to 'own' my new hairstyles. So by monday, I'll be rocking my do like nobody's business Im proud of myself for taking this leap. It may not seem like much to others, but is a world to me. It's like wearing that sexy dress for the frist time, or being able to wear knee high boots because you can get them over your calf. Or in my case, it feels like being naked in a crowd for the first time. I feel so...exposed. But not necessarily in a bad way. It's forcing me to hold my head up and to strut my stuff.. Look at world, I'm on the loose!! HAHA

These last couple of weeks have been a few of the most stressful that I have had since surgery in May. Stress never seems to ebb in my life as much as it flows. You would think that over time this girl would be used to it, but there is no such thing as getting used to stress. You can roll with it and that's what I do, so that I can deal with the issue at hand and so it doesn't drive me insane. However it does drive me to some things that hinder my journey and even have the potential to harm me. I liked to think of it as comfort, but I know my thinking is warped. I want, no rather I need to find comfort in things other than food when life gets tough and curve balls are thrown at my head. The hug of a loved one is good, the escape of a good book, TV show or movie is great, but nothing brings me the comfort of being in my bedroom with the door to the outside world closed, eating a box of skinny cow, or munching on a vat of peanut butter pretzels. I want to run away and hide where no one can find me, but instead I try to heal the wounds so I can keep on going, and the bandages I use to cover up those wounds are food. It's bad..yes BAD because I am hurting myself by doing that. There are times that I will even pull my husband into it with me. I don't let too many people into my sanctuary, he is a willing accomplice that is until we realize that I am hurting him by sharing this unhealthy habit, and that makes me feel twice as bad. Since I have had surgery and before the latest disaster struck, I was working on NOT eating in bed. NOT eating in my bedroom. Keeping meals and snacks in the kitchen and at the table where they belong. It becomes difficult and feels impossible when I feel the need to hide. I want some peace a moment of relaxation, so I run to my bedroom and barricade myself away from the un-relenting caterwauls that come from outside. If it's not one of the 5 kids, (all over the age of 18-actually 4 over the age of 20!) it's one of our parents, or siblings that claw and vie for attention. Usually something life threating, just so you know it's not just the usual hey what's for dinner or I can't find my key kind of stress, those things just compound daily and sometimes cause the force of the stress to be 10 times worse then it actually is. There are days when I feel as though I have PTSD and just the ring of the phone, the whisper in the hallway or the knock on the door is enough to get my heart palpitating, my head pounding and my brow sweaty with anxiety. I know I should lace up my sneakers and go for a walk, or hang a punching bag and beat the ever loving sh*t out of it. Tape the person of the day to it, and punch away. However, when I am emotionally spent and physically exhausted the only thing I fixate on is the drive to the store to buy that box or container of comfort food. When I get home all I want to do is close and lock my door, curl up under the covers and dig in. This week, as I feel myself calming down a bit from the last two weeks of high anxiety and stress I am re-committing to working on these goals. I am hopeful that enough practice even if it is in between crisis I will be able to overcome my need for comfort foods, if not my need for escape, and learn to soothe my stress in more productive ways. After 42 years, I am learning the power of NO and the definition of boundaries. I am practicing using the word NO more often, putting and keeping those boundaries firmly in place. I am also thinking of investing in that punching bag. It could be a fun way to blow off steam! I wonder if they have one I could put on my desk….