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How To explain away my scars? OK, this is awful so don't read if you are easily offended and do not appreciate a sick sense of humor. Warning! Don't read if you are easily offended! Last Warning! Sick Humor below!!!!! Shanked in prison... Shuts them up every time! - VSGKirk Some idiot: What happened? You: I had abdominal surgery. Idiot: What kind? You: The kind that involves the abdominal area. - newat52 Tijuana knife fight. - Kristina J. I had some "woman issues " - chell1978 Texas mosquito bites I was knifed by an exotic dancer in TJ. Full contact scrapbooking injury... When you get the weird look, you can fill in that scrapbooking is getting really intense now that scrappers are trying to make the hobby "athletic enough" for the Olympics. Bears. But never mind my scar, you should check out my awesome new rug! My wife said somtimes I don't know my place. Tell them you are trying to avenge your father and ask if they have six fingers on their right hand. Two words, "Satin sheets" I don't want to go into details, but suffice to say, I won't be allowed in that Benihana for a while. The first rule of Fight Club is 'don't talk about Fight Club' They say you can't get blood from a stone - well, the IRS tried! Remember when your mom told you not to run with scissors? I was watching the DIY network and they did a show on bodylifts... A zombie tried to eat my brains and missed. Tell them as much as you'd love to talk about it you just can't because your defense attorney and parole officer advised you to keep your mouth shut until after the trial. I got this in a bar fight when I used to ride with Hells Angels. That's where the aliens probed me Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a to put on warning labels! Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet. "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before." I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs. I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish. I slipped while making a salad. I fell asleep, and the clown got me. I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason. I'm a blade sharpness tester "I had an accident with a scalpel." [person asks why] "Well, you know that guy who woke up in an ice bath and his kidney was gone? Er... this had nothing to do with it. Honest." You know how dogs chase their tails? Well it has nothing to do with that. Nor does it have anything to do with cat scratches. Or the faeries that visit me nightly *ramble on*... What was I talking about? I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too. "Oh, these?" *embarrassed face* "I know they look horrible, but the sex was INCREDIBLE!" "...Are you consipring aginast me? What's with all the questions? Who wants to know the answers?" *and upon interrupting "I'm doing the talking here" and then continue to ramble until they back away. "...They'll come and get you too. Run while you still can" Knifed by an exotic dancer. Terrible. Yes, they're nasty that way. I had unprotected sex with a porcupine. I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life. The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck. The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages. I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner. The voices told me to do it. I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile:: In my past life I was a ninja. It sucks having parents who are sadists. My boyfriend and I accidentally went overboard during our last S & M session. I moon light as a stunt-woman who dives through glass windows. Look at your scars and frown You mean you don’t have any? Well, last time it was an alien baby. I’m actually kind of relieved. I had a narrow escape from a firing squad. Now that is an interesting question; it all ties in with the eternal enigma: why are we here, for what purpose does life on earth exist? go on about the meaning of life until everyone gets bored and goes away Carving a turkey is harder than it looks You want me to show you? smile evily Don’t EVER give blood abroad! Well, I tend to get a little violent with the computer when it doesn’t cooperate. Oh those? Bad juggling accident. I don’t like to talk about it. I’m much better now Oh these? Hmm, I dunno, they’ve just always been there. Well, I mean, ever since I took over this body, anyway. Strange, don’t you think? Ozzy Osborne is my uncle and we have some kick butt family reunions! Those psychology experiments are soooo not worth the extra credit… Oh my god! Never, EVER try taking candy from a baby! A reminder of my Pirating days.... My trained attack dragon did before I got him trained... I had a duel. Did you know chickens aren't all soft and fluffy? Playing Slug Bug with a cat is a reaaally bad idea. Oh this? *point at scar* That's where my twin used to be attached. Lightsaber battle I kicked Chuck Norris' ass all I got was this lousy scar! Tell them you had to help Jack Bauer escape from the Russians and that's the last time you'll cover his pansy ass. Narrowly escaped a zombie attack Fell on the runway-it's Fashion Week Rachel Ray's dog attacked me. I just tell people it's a "sex wound." My husband is ... just ... a WILD MAN, what can I say? That's all folks! Really, that's all there is. No hablo the english? There isn't anymore. Stop scrolling! Ok, okay, one last one. It's where the alien burst out. What, you think they only come out of chests? Satisfied!??????????

I'm so glad I found this group. I'm excited and scared as hell about my upcoming surgery date (11SEP13). I've found comfort here...as well as uncomfortable truths. I am not very open with the people that know me. I have issues...I have a counselor who is helping me with those issues. Progress is being made So, you all have been my peeps...I've come to you (whether you know it or not) for answers, encouragement, and truth. I've posted a few times. I've shared some of my story. I want to share more. And I want you to respond...with truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. So, here is my promise. I promise not to be offended when you tell me the uncomfortable truth about my ramblings. I won't get all moody and start calling names. I will value your opinions and your experiences. I may pout in front of my computer screen...but not on here where you can see it. I also promise to share...the comfy and the uncomfy parts. I know it's not going to be a bed of roses, or an instant fix. It's going to be hard work and require a full committment on my part. There is no miracle weight loss. I know people have complications. I want to learn from them. I promise to take responsibility for my actions on here. If I screw up...I'm going to own it. And I ask you to remind me of that I know there are consequences for when I make mistakes. And I accept that you are going to let me know about them! I write this because I've seen a few posts lately where the initial poster gets offended when the comments aren't all "warm and fuzzy." Well...as some of you have pointed out...truth isn't always warm and fuzzy. So, thank you for letting me learn from you. Thank you for being that shoulder I may need to lean on. And thank you for keeping me in check.

The end of July I decided to call the center just to see if my insurance would pay for any of the procedures. I had heard through the grapevine that my provider did but I just wasn't ready to take that leap yet. I work nights so before heading to bed I called and gave the info to the lady and went to sleep. A couple of days lady I got an email stating I had been approved and needed to call for an appointment. Now what? Did I really want to do this? This would mean a lot of changes. So I made the appointment for one morning that week after work. I still hadn't told anyone. I didn;t want anyone to know so there would be no pressure whatever I decided. I've been overweight my whole life and most of my family has too. I have had several family members have WLS and all of them have gained their weight back. Everyone I know that has WLS has gained their weight back. And I'm still considering this? I was very discouraged at my appointment when they told me I would have to wait four months for surgery! I would have to have two dietitian appointment and a psych eval. ( that might disqualify me right there!). But after doing some research I know why and I guess that's better than six months or a year. I brought home my information and started doing my research. I found LapBandTalk.com. I found The Big Book (I'm almost finished with it) and I feel very confident I can do this. I've been able to determine exactly why all my family members have gained their weight back and even a few of my friends. I know it will be hard, one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I don't just want it, I need it. I need it for my life, my kids and my husband. I need it to be able to continue the job I love.

gamergirl...I love reading your posts & your blogs!!! You are REAL and that is what I love. I've noticed it helps me when feeling down to write, to read, to just do something that I enjoy and the feeling sometimes passes. Chin up, you are doing great and keep the comments coming!

You need to take some "me" time and so does your hubby. Look at pictures that you have with family members. Take a walk down memory lane. Take a drive in the country and listen to the birds sing. Those would be my happy places to go to. You are in my prayers....... and remember "this to shall pass". :-)

It has been 2 weeks and one day since I had my surgery. I started at 230lbs before my pre-op diet. Surgery date I was 216. As of yesterday the scale hit 199. I was soooo excited to break out of the 200lbs. I was sooo hard for me to lose even 10 lbs pre surgery. It took me 6 months to do so. As of today I lose a total of 31lbs in 1 month. My goal is to get off the 9 more pounds that I had on me from my first child, and then I will put the scale away for a bit as I have been weighing myself every morning counting down till onederalnd! So I started Purees yesterday. My first meal was 1 hard boiled egg, 1 teaspoon miracle whip, 1/2 teaspoon of hummus. I was so ecited to eat "real" food, I scarfed it down a little too quickly. Dont know what was wrong with me, I guess after a month of liquids I was like "GIVE ME FOOD!" So I was only able to eat 1/2 an egg until I was burping and felt full. Although I am not too sure what FULL feels like post op...I burp and my tummy feels like theres stuff in there but that happens very quickly. For lunch I pureed cottage cheese (YUM) and mixed a baby spoonful in with the egg and it was MUCH easier to get down. I have also heard people say its harder to eat in the morning. For dinner I pureed refried beans with some salsa, topped with a pinch of cheddar cheese melted and topped with babyspoon full of sour cream. OMG sooo freakin yummy and slightly spicy from salsa. Sooo sad Iwas only able to eat 1ozif that. I think Im too scared to eat too much and since Im not sure what the warning signs are of being full its only a matter of time before I overdo it and learn for myself. Since I am never hungry, How can I feel satisfied. I would have been "Head" satisfied if I could finish my 1oz of refried beans. I have been doing 2 protein shakes in between each meal. WIth all this eating, waiting and drinking shakes I have nooo time for my water. I try to drink as much as I can at night an hour after dinner. I mean do I have to wake up at 3am just to get in all my calories protein and water. Im only getting about 300 calories, maybe slightly more now that Im on purees. My protein intake is around 50 2 weeks post op (working on it.) and my water intake counting 2 protein shakesmaybe 42oz per day max. Yesterday I felt lightheaded and dizzy and I knew it was because I am not getting enough of anything. As soon as I drink my protein shake it is like rocket fuel and I'm speedy gonzalez again. As far as my recovery, I was driving 6 days post-op, had a party for 30ppl at my house for my daugters bday, been walking and running around with kids to parks, playgrounds, pools(even though I cant go in) This week was the first time I fely very LOW energy. So I am really trying to get in more protein water and calories. HW: 233, Pre-pre.op 230, day of surgery 216, came home from surgery 227 (lol) fluid. Current weight 198. My goal by 3 weeks post op (Next thursday) is 190lbs. My goal after that is my wedding day weight of 170 by Christmas, And 150 by my February 23rd Birthday! That would be amazing!!!

I did something I didn't think I'd EVER be able to do Saturday night: I attended a bachelorette party for a good friend, jumped on a party bus with 11 other ladies and didn't touch a DROP of alcohol the entire night. Well, ok, there was ONE sip at a comedy club after my friend sent her margarita back twice claiming it had soda in it so I just had to see for myself how truly hideous it was. And it WAS. But that was it! We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. My FAV food in the world. Not a chip passed my lips. No beans. No rice. Just some grilled chicken with a bit of salsa on it and a few black beans. The moral? If I can spend 7 hours on a bus full of crazy drunk people, pass on Mexican, (oh and did I mention there was cake?), pass on cake (I shall leave the "shape" of cake to your imagination) - I CAN DO THIS. Just how tough was this? Oh so hard. Normally I'm the life of the party, and at my current height/weight I can put it away. Bottom line - WILL POWER. One week until surgery. I've turned down fruit, beer (gulp), chips, etc. My size 0, 19 year old daughter left a 1/3 eaten Snickers bar on the counter the other day (who DOES that?!) and I wrapped it up and stuck it away for her later. I wasn't even tempted to finish it as I would have been a month ago. I want to be healthy more than I want the 2 second gratification of tasting chocolate. The other thing I'm learning is that food is for FUEL, not for emotions. Old me: "Hey! It's sunny! I need a bowl of cereal! Oh crap, it's raining, I should probably make a pot of pasta and have 3 huge bowls. Look at that, I'm sad - better grab some chips and dip" (you get the idea). Now I'm listening to my tummy for cues that it needs fuel. Let me close this post by saying - to know me is to know how hard this has been and will be for me. BUT I'm doing it and so can you. Stay positive - eye on the prize.

You are an amazing person who has been through so much! It was my pleasure to meet you and hear your stories first hand! You have a ray of sunshine that beams from you and that is quite contagious!! Im glad to have a new friend on this journey and I'm glad that friend is YOU! You look fabulous and i look forward to hearing more of your stories. Take time for you, discover something that you love to do just for YOU, 'cause you deserve it!!

Way to go...just reading your post describes me to a T. I start my 2 weeks of liquids on 8/26.