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Ok here we go!! My sugery is two weeks from today and I am starting my own version of the Pre-Op diet!! If anyone has read my previous entries you will know that I decided to start cutting stuff back and out since the day my surgery was booked (April 1, 2013). For the last two weeks I have been carb free and in dietary ketosis… so this week I have decided to go clear liquids only throughout the day, and one sensible low carb low fat protein rich meal for dinner – it will be chicken or fish with a low carb vegetable. Day 1, 12:24… I am FREAKING HUNGRY!! However, I am going to withstand this physical discomfort because I know that on the flip side, it will be gone. Why am I torturing myself you may ask? Because I feel that the challenge I will face following my surgery will be as much mental and emotional as it is physical. I want to learn now, over the next 14 days how much protein my body needs, and when, along with the various other nutrient requirements (Multi Vit, Calcium,D, B12). My resolve is not to feel unwell or weak the first couple of weeks following my surgery, but moreover; to not panic and start climbing the walls because there is nothing solid going into my body. I hope it works. So far, the gradual decrease has been working for me. I feel physically stable, and mentally empowered. I have lost 18 lbs this year, and 39 since my top weight. Neither refined sugar nor caffeine call the shots anymore so now I tackle ghrelin – I hope it knows the strong stubborn b***h its up against. In other news, my sister will now be coming with me to Juarez and I am super excited. She is as silly as me and I think we will have a ball. My bf/ ex bf?? whatever he is now... has not been home since Monday. We have talked and “made up” so to speak. I don’t believe there was any affair or any of the sort going on... because I know exactly where he stayed (and with whom). However, to get in a snit and not come home or check in for a couple of days after a fight, is extremely childish and disrespectful - especially for a man in his 40s!!!. My feeling at this point is that he is waiting for me to ask him to come home. That’s not happening. I love the man, but I am far to old for this crap, and I have a wonderful son to think about. And really, if I can get over Chocolate, I can get over Justin! :Þ

I guess the band is really working because i haven't gotten hungry yet. That doesn't mean that i dont have the urge to eat tho. I guess its all in my head. I'm not really in that much pain. It only hurts when I try to get out of bed and walk around and stuff which i have to do often. I tried a different protein shake and i think its too thick because it hurts when i try to drink it. I'm gonna try a different protein shake and see how it goes. I might just be that the shake is too thick because when i drink water or some other kind of 'thin' liquid i be okay. I'm complaining now but i know in the long run it all will be worth it!

I love the title of this blog entry! Sooo funny!

7 weeks Post Op and the Honeymoon is OVER for me. The first 3 weeks the weight melted off, then I had the dreaded stall. The stall broke and now I am losing 1-2 pounds a week. Which is great! BUT, it is definitely work! I am having to make very conscience decisions about what I eat and to exercise. Sound familiar?? Sounds like the standard eat less, move more mantra that every doctor/nutritionist has told me my whole life. DUH!! See, I am one of those "lucky" ones that can tolerate anything. Nothing makes me sick, I guess I have a sleeve of steel to quote someone else. Now, I am limited to how much I can eat which is definitely a good thing. Because I CAN eat anything doesn't mean I SHOULD. This weekend was my eye opener. We had people over and I discovered that I can drink...DANG! I had a couple drinks, and I munched ALOT. I can eat a little something, then a little bit later I can eat a little more. I felt like I was eating all night. I did keep track of everything on Myfitnesspal on my phone so I have a really good idea of what it really looked like. When you add in the drinks (which were vodka and diet cranberry, which is a decent choice) I ended up close to 1200 calories for the day. Pre-Surgery that would have been a GREAT day. However post surgery that was very eye opening for me. I could see very clearly that my choices and decisions are going to make a huge difference in my outcome...regardless of the surgery! The surgery helps, for sure, but I am still going to have to do the work or I'll be right back to where I started!! So like any normal person, the next day, I picked myself up...took the lessons to heart...and started over. Made good food choices and kept exercising. I say "like any normal person" because previously this would not be the way I handled it. I would have said "oh well, I blew it so I might as well quit" and my one day of bad eating would have turned into 2, then 3 then a week. I am alternating between walking and riding my bike (the picture is of me the other day with my uber-cool cruiser bike!) and I just found out that 24 hour fitness has a great deal going on so I think tomorrow (pay day) I'll be joining the gym too! I think that's a good reward for losing almost 50 lbs!! Heaviest Weight: 281 3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24) 3/13/13: 251 (-6) 3/20/13: 245 (-6) 3/28/13: 238 (-7) 4/3/13: 238 (-0) FIRST MONTH -19# 4/10/13: 237 (-1) 4/17/13: 235 (-2) 4/24/13: 233 (-2)

Good morning! After a solid week of battling the same damn pound, I dropped it Monday, and two more since then It is a great and rewarding feeling to get on the scale and see those changes. It makes the extra time it took to dig out a weight watchers recipe and cook versus grabbing fast food that much more rewarding. The weather is finally breaking here in Michigan, and it's beautiful out!! Can't wait to get out and walk every single day again- I miss it sooooo much! I'm back horseback riding again, which wasn't something I had given up due to my weight or anything...but I kind of see now, looking back, I gave up a lot of stuff indirectly becuase of my weight. I didn't feel like going out, I wasn't in the mood, didn't have the energy, etc. I love getting out now- getting dressed and going out in the world. I'm almost to my 1/2 way point in my journey...down 49# total, with 56# more to go. I'm excited to start seeing myself IN pictures with my kids, instead of just standing behind the camera all the time. I'm excited to get dressed and know that nobody is noticing me for what is or isn't showing- it's like an entirely new outlook on life. I have always had my weight weigh really heavily on my mental well-being and my attitude, so I'm glad to see as I shed pounds, my attitude changes, my life is better, and I'm so much happier! Had to share some uplifting stuff today- I know that I haven't been on as much, and I want to be able to track my journey on here as well as maybe help someone out that is questioning if this is the right choice for them or not. I know everyone is different, but I would do this for myself 100xs over if I had to. I finally have my LIFE BACK Have a great day y'all!

OMG I just aquired one of those horrendous machines and no I wont use it. I hate it and I cant sleep. omg its barbaric I feel like im drowning.

Great pic and CPAPS be gone soon!