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Many of you know my story, banded February 2012, reached my goal weight in December 2012 and have been trying to maintain that weight since. Many of you say I’m a success and look to me for advice & guidance. My biggest fear with this journey has been gaining my weight back once I reached my goal. I never feared the surgery or the weight loss; I knew I could do it. But, could I handle maintaining this weight for the rest of my life? Tonight, I failed. I failed myself, I failed my band and I failed my family. I am so disgusted with myself that I want to hide in a corner so no one will know….. But, I must face it and confess. I had purchased a box of chocolate drumstick ice cream cones for my step daughter this weekend. She ate 1; tonight I ate the other 9. YES 9! At 170 calories that is 1, 530 calories in less than 1 hour. One right after the other, big bites shoving them down as fast as I wanted. The band didn’t stop me, in fact it didn't make a sound, let me gobble away a lot of hard work. I write this confession with tears running down my face. I feel like a complete and utter failure. I knew I would f** it up and I did. I can’t even tell you why I ate them. My evening routine was no different than any other night, wasn’t bored or depressed or stressed. I saw the box, opened one knowing darn well I shouldn’t and then the only thing that stopped me was getting to the bottom of the box. I honestly wished to get sick so I would stop. It was complete sabotage. I was trying to failure. I have to face this and stop it. I do not want to gain weight, I do not want to binge eat like this and have this sick feeling. I had to make myself write this blog, I had to face up to it. This is the only way to grow and learn. I am only human doing the best I can. I will put this behind me and move on.

I was banded a little over a year ago, I've lost over 80 pounds and I am at my goal weight. I also drink wine every evening. I don’t hide this from anyone. I have posted such information several times and when I get PM’d about it I answer honestly. I knew when I decided to get the band that I would have to change my life and I was more than willing to do just that. But, I was not willing to give up my wine. I enjoy wine, I like the taste. My husband & I often go wine tasting at some of the Texas wineries. So, I decided that wine was going to be a part of my lifestyle. From day one (& before) I have enjoyed my evening wine. Yes, the evening of my surgery I had a glass. I count the empty calories (110 calories for 5oz of wine, approximately) and I am careful. I know that wine relaxes the band right along with you. So if you drink too much and the munchies set in…..everything will go down & then some. I am responsible with my wine. I don’t drink for the effect of the alcohol. I drink wine because of the taste. You wonder, does my doctor know? Of course he does, I tell my doctor everything. Hiding information from your doctor only hurts you. My thoughts are this, if you have something you love and you can manage it then you should enjoy it. Make it a part of your plan. I have a friend that has a treat once a week of their favorite fast food meal, and another who has a single serving bag of Cheetos every day. Depriving yourself will not work. If you are anything like me, you will get resentful and end up splurging and hating yourself after. Enjoy your love, just manage it and you will succeed.

It's over with and tomorrow is a new day. You are not a failure, you slipped, we all do some times. Thank you for sharing this. It helps me and I am sure others, that no one is ever perfect. I eat more than 1 cup at dinner. Have a better tomorrow. Hugs, Arlene

My sister in crime! lol we won't talk about Love and her wine!

You look GREAT!

hi friends, I have been on my liver shrinking diet since last tuesday, I started off trying the milk n yoghurt diet but after running to the loo at tea time decided to do the food diet like last time, I have lost 10lb in 5 days, I will get weighed tomorrow and it could be more, I had put 6lb on since christmas, so am pleased to have got that off and a good start to being near to my 19 stone goal for the day of my op. I am finding the diet much easier this time and i think this is because i am having 2 eggs srambled on one slice of dry brown toast for the first meal of the day. I have a salad for lunch, 1 soya yoghurt and 1 apple at teatime and veg n lean meat cooked in my slow cooker for evening meal, i have being having 800 cals, 1 day i had 995, and lots of nas squash, tea with soya milk allowance. I am having mixed emotions this time, last time i was excited all the time, but as it was cancelled and 7 months later back on, until i wake up and they tell me it is done, I won't let myself be too excited. I know God is with me and my trust is in him, really hope i continue to be so positive and have no fear on the day, ive worked hard and waited 2 years 7 months for this, many friends are praying for me, thanks be to God, will write again before my op, x I know this is what i want and God is with me, its the natural feelings i have to ignore, and i will be so happy when i wake up to find its done. How i feel at the moment I would have it tomorrow.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a glass of wine, especially when you're counting the calories. I am a very firm believer that to be successful with any weight loss it has to be about moderation not deprivation. You are simply enjoying what you love in moderation.

So glad, others are experiencing the same as me. At least I am not alone. Tomorrow is my first support group meeting so we will see how it goes. I think I need more than a once a month support group. I drink about 2 shakes a day, maybe 48 ounces of water and kind of munch on things here and there. I am pretty sure I am eating things I am not supposed to but at the same time, things that are not horrible either. All I know is that I ate a hell of alot more before the surgery and always maintained the same weight, way too heavy but always the same number. Now, I eat a fraction of what I had before and can't seem to shed anything so something ain't right here. I usually eat a big tablespoon of cottage cheese in the morning with reduced sugar jelly and maybe some scrambles egg. I feel like I can eat alot more than I should be able to??? Thanks to both of you that responded. it really helps. Please stay in contact with me

I have read all these chats and You all have given me some good ideas. I am 4 weeks post op as of tomorrow and haven't lost a pound since i finished my two weeks of shakes post op. To be honest with you, I am extremely frustrarted and really don't know what to do. I am not sure what to eat and when. At this point I have lost 31 pounds and am extremely stuck! I really want to maximize my weight loss at this time but Have really no support medically and am completely lost. Help please if you have any advice. Thanks