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desertmom's Blog

A blog by desertmom in General

  • Entries

    166

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About this blog

My sleeve journey

Entries in this blog

Celebrating!

of course the old me was just lurking around the corner just to pop out its head when I least expected it...lol   My friend came home tonight,after the housekeeper had made everybody else meal,cottage pie with a sweetpotato twist (and I had made my fish) and said she was opening a bottle of my favourite red wine...and of course I wanted a glass.So she ha one glass and I ended up having 2 and some of their dinner not my fish.   At this poin I have realized how hard I have actually been on mys

Finally,results!

today I weighed 198 pounds for the first time in many years.   It seems I really did need an attitude change...lol   The food is still mostly proteins.No obsessive behavior there...a few carbs makes no difference but boy do more exercise make a huge difference.   We now run up to 6 km 3 nights a week.It is still 95 degrees some nights and it takes a lot of mental strenght to go out there.But I want to lose weight. Tuesdays and Saturdays we play roun robin squash for more than 2 hours. Su

Attitude Change!

Earlier I posted this post about being sick of the sleeve and desperate and doing the duodenal switch...blablabla...yada,yada,yada........   Then I went back to the gym to play a game of squash.We played hard and fast and my goodness it felt soooo good.   This all made me decide that I will lose more weight.Even if I have to learn to run a hundred km at a time.I will do whatever I can to lose the last 38 pounds.   My friend is a personal trainer and I will start train with him next week.I

Calories Burned Vs Calories Eaten

Since I have decided to take a week off I had a blast.Not overeating but just relaxing a little.   Of course toda I relaxed too much and bamm,ate half a container of caramel popcorn in the movies....which of course brings my cals for the day to about 1700....ooops!   Now if the theory of calories in calories out was scientifically correct then this should not be a problem at all.See we played in a squash tournament this morning with a bunch of young girls and boy did I burn a load of calorie

Week Off

So i have realized that I am obsessive about weighing and measuring and proteins and carbs and my poor family is on a diet and have been since I have started the crazy measuring and weighing of everything in July.   I now have given myself a week off.And just now my 11 year old and myself will be going to the beach and we will have hamburgers on the beach for dinner tonight.   And we will be going out a few times this weekend and I will eat whatever,but not too much.   This is the only way

Can The Sleeve Shrink?

O my goodness,my sleeve has shrunk!   After 2 day on liquids an no real weight change I decided screw this,I need food...lol   So today I had low fat cheddar (1oz) for lunch and then I had some edamame (eating them out of the pods) too many of them but hey,they chew down to nothing!   For dinner I put 2 oz of chicken and 2 tablespoons of spinach on my plate.Now after 1oz of chicken and about half of the spinach I am stuffed.....not really satisfied but full.   The question of the moment

5 Day Pouch Test!

I have started with the 5 day pouch test today.   It is just so frustrating to me that my weight have stopped again where it have always stopped...just above 200 pounds.I am not cheating.I am exercising to the point of exhaustion.   But I will get under 200 even if I ahve to not eat for the next 2 weeks!

Plodding Along

Its been longer than a week now since I quit smoking.I also lost the weight I gained when I quit plus one.   Today 204 pounds.   The exercise program for the week was as follows: Reformer pilates on Sunday and Tuesday for one hour at a time. Some interval graining with weights on Monday. Tuesday evening 1 hour of squash wednesday evening 6,4km in 40 minutes (its still 98 degrees in the evening here with very high humidity) Thursday 6,4km walk in 55 minutes. friday squash 1,5 hours sat

Day ?

cant quite remember how long I've quit now but this is hard.Had to reason with myself a few times today but am ok now.   I feel like rubbish with the flu and but muscle still painful but went to reformer class just to do something.Also going to play squash tonight just to get out and not having to sit and resist the temptation to eat the whole night.   Crazy thing is my weight is now stuck on what I have gained.I have been low carbing (very low) for 3 days and did not have the usual results

Note To Self

This is just to remind you why smoking ever again would be a stupid thing to do.   You constantly want to snack now that you dont have the smoke to run to.Everything but proteins have carbs.So edamame is nice but the carbs .....,even the bullets have 2 carbs an if you eat 5 per day that adds another 10 carbs.The dreaded feeling that you have just self sabotaged like you always do is horrible isn it?Not knowing if you will lose more weight?Not seeing the bright side of life because 1.either you

Edamame!,

Today I travelled across the city to find shirataki yam noodles and frozen edamame pods.   I am delighted to say that not only did I find these at the only Japanese grocer in town but I also found sugarfree bullets (popcicles) at another shop.   The bullets like sf jello gives me a little bit of a feeling in my esophagus (almost heartburn not quite but I do have a feeling)   These I now use as I need to snack on something instead of smoking.It would be way to easy to just gain 10 pounds th

Being Taught To See My Real Size!

My beautiful housemate and best friend of many years,that really knows the extent of my desturbed body image and the body dismorphia (real) I have had since the age of about 13 have taken it upon herself to teach me about size...lol   Well,at first she was very subtle and I didnt know what she was doing.She would constantly ask me,when we were in the shops or gym,if I thought I was bigger than this lady or that woman.....she wouldnt comment much but sh wold tell me if I was wrong.   Today sh

I Did It!

When people talk about crossover addiction we all think booze right?   Well 2.5 months after my surgery,while having stress that topped anything I've had in the past 10 years,I started smoking again.   I have stopped smoking.In order to run off the rest of the pounds I've had to quit.   Of course I am eating like a horse now,but it is just a day or 2 then that is over too,and I will not post weight for a while.I give myself 2 weeks,one to gain little because I am eating rubbish and one to

So Frustrated!

when we went on holiday in July I lost loads of weight.eating out all the time,no tracking,counting carbs no execise (ok,I didnt exercise at all until then)   Now,back in our old routine,I have startes exercising loads.I burn about 3000 cals most days and about 2300 on the days I rest.   My food on execise days are about 1000 cals (naturally more hungry days) but on non exercise days at 800.   The lack of consistent losing is still driving me batty!   My head is seriously done in by this

Being A "pleaser"

lately I have being thinking about being such a pleaser.Not only a peoples pleaser but everything and everybody.Not a happy pleaser either for the past few years.   When you st unrealistic standards you are doomed to fail.Not only that my fear of failure and success has become a serious stumbling block in my life.   My friend ( very successful lady) always says she is a plodder.She just starts somewhere without contemplating the whole big picture and adjusts as things play out.Me on the othe

Not,and Other Realizations!

So I should shut up until I really quit!   Thats all I have to say about that!...lol   Now,I have realized that I obsess wayyyy to much about the scale and I can say it because today I am down a kg and my mood is completely different.   Then,I have also realized that when I add a little more fat to my diet I eat a lot less.Not a lot,just a little more.I want less of everything.And to reset is actually possible.One day of super low carbs and just enough proteins (60g) and the next day the h

D Day

Today was a great protein day!   Tomorrow I am going to stop smoking and I am very apprehensive about this. (is that the right word?lol)   Will try to do loads of exercise (playing squash in the morning) and drink lots of water.I have asked my family to cut me some slack and not buy into any arguments I will try to start. (they are terrible at this though so I might just have to lock myself up for the day..lol)   Usually by the end of day 3 I start feeling like a human being again and dont

Starting Over!

today I made the choice to have 1500 calories for the day.I had about 150g of carbs and I enjoyed every one of them.   Tomorrow I will be back on plan but with some complex carbs as part of my diet again.It just worked for me.Cutting carbs to 25 makes me feel blue and makes the constipation terrible to deal with.   I will also keep up with the exercise and will try to do a walk in the evening in addition to everything else.   Now for the next 20 pounds as a short term goal by the 18th of D

Real Regret!

It has been almost 3 weeks since I've last lost even an ounce!   At the moment I am seriously depressed.I regret having started smoking after surgery again.I am so angry with myself about this.Stopping is not an issue.Stopping and not gaining weight is.Somehow this warped head of mine believe that the smoking had something to do with the weight loss.I am petrified of stopping and gaining.But I want to stop as I want to run more,cannot do that while coughing and wheezing!   Also today I would

Pictures Tomorrow

today I will take some pictures for the first time post op.Its been 5 and a half months now that I've still been avoiding the pics.   My kid took some the morning of surgery (and some the morning after).   I might even post them if I can see a difference.Being very body dismorphic doesnt make life easy.I have to see myself with my mind and not really my eyes as my eyes still see me almost exactly the same,but with a lot more wrinkles and drooping skin.My head tells me 88 pounds is a signific

Stall,again!

ok so I have hit the mother of all stalls.And all the doubt and all the anxiety has returned.   Am I eating to much?Am I eating to little?What should I eat?What am I doing wrong.I must be doing something wrong.   I know,with the rational part of my brain,that I have TOM and the 2 pounds that I am up is normal for this time of the month.My housekeeper reminds me every morning when I storm down the stairs in a bad fat mood that this is the way its been since surgery and that I look thinner to

I Am So Happy!

since I've last posted my weight of 211 on the 16th,I thought I had not lost any weight at all.In fact a week ago my weight jumped up 4 pounds after I had some caramel popcorn (not a whole lot either) and a frozen yogurt.   At the time my stress levels was at an all time high and we had to make some very very difficult life altering decisions.I really wished I could just eat and eat like before but HATED the weight that came back.   After last weekend I decided to do the right things again b

The Sleeve And Stress

So we are ahving quite a bit of stress in our lives at the moment and my sleeve hates it!   I have constant pain on my stomach (radiates to my back) and the stomach is rummbling like it did directly post surgery!   There is nothing else going on as far as I can tell.the sleeve is just super tight and very sensitive!   Dont really know what to do about this!

Weight Is Moving Again...heeeehaaaa!

212 pounds.Started the exercise thing a while ago and the weight just stalled.It almost made me stop again.However the jellyfish thing doesnt do it for me any longer so now I exercise...lol   Whenever I drink a multivitamin I am thinking of food all day and extremely peckish!I hate that feeling so now I have gotten kiddie chewies and eat 2 in the morining,2 in the afternoon and 2 much later.That way the appetite is not affected so badly!     This is not so easy.I am starting to understand

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