Well, I hope my surgery days are finally over.
I had my panniculectomy on Friday morning and everything went well.
I had an umbilical hernia corrected simultaneously. The surgery(ies) took just under 3 hours and they removed almost 7 pounds of excess skin and my belly button.
When I first woke from surgery, the pain was about an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10 but that lasted less than a half hour when the pain meds kicked in. It's been about 2 and a half days since and I haven't felt the slightest tinge of pain since.
I have a couple of drains that are collecting the excess blood and body fluids that have to be emptied every couple of hours. They are a little gross but really simple to empty and I have to bend 15% degrees while walking and sleeping until healed.
I can't wait to get the bandages and stuff removed in a couple of weeks to get a look at the new me.
It's been 15 months and few surgeries since I began this journey but I feel like a new man with a brand new lease on life. Who knew that losing 166 pounds (75.3 Kilos) and a belly button could feel so damn good?
The pride I have for my accomplishments is somewhat clouded by the shame I am feeling for not being able to kick the butts for good but in due time, they too will be history.
Initial Consult: September 18, 2009 - 365 pounds (165.5 Kilos), BMI 54
Lapband Surgery: March 2, 2010 - 270 pounds (122.5 Kilos), BMI 40
Panniculectomy: December 3, 2010 - 199 pounds (90.2 Kilos), BMI 29
The rest of my life: priceless!
The pictures will follow soon!
I will have my first fill next week. Right now my hunger has overwhelmed me and I have gained back weight! I am trying to stick to the pouch rules but its extremely difficult! I am scared that I will not be able to lose weight once the band has been filled. My hypothyroidism had reversed because of meds before the surgery so I had to stop taking my meds to actually be able to have the surgery. Now its back and I'm exhausted and starving all the time. So back on the meds but it usually takes a few weeks for the meds to kick in and get my energy back.
Any suggestions on what to do to get a little energy and stop over eating until I get my first fill?
A testimonial from the website of the hospital I will be banded..... insipires me whenever I feel like I need a pick-me-up... just wanted to share.
I have found that there are certain "stones" that you must claim as your own and use with almost religious zeal to keep the tool of bariatric surgery sharp and effective. I think every person who has this surgery builds their own cairn out of the stones that they discover work best to encourage them. So here are a few of mine.
Stone #1—Quiet Reflection
This one takes different forms for different people—prayer and meditation, transcendental sauntering, yoga, sitting quietly, being. Take your pick, but this is an important discipline as it keeps the bariatric patient in touch with the one thing that our weight and former dependence on food distanced us from—our feelings. You must think about how you feel, stay aware of how you feel and set your compass each and every day to make all of the choices that keep you feeling good, feeling lean, and feeling in control.
Stone #2—Meaningful Movement
Do something. For me the compliance to this particular "stone" is profoundly personal and it took me almost four years to figure out that I would exercise far more consistently if I would work out early in the morning versus in the evening when I almost always had a conflict or flagging motivation. Committing to a time that no person or event could challenge and making it virtually impenetrable from interlopers made this one of the most significant assurances for me. If I start with this stone on the cairn—even if it is just a 45 minute energetic walk—everything else seems to fall in place. Put simply, if I even reluctantly walk over and pick up this stone (no matter how heavy) and carry it to my weight loss cairn each morning, I know that I will virtually run and, with little effort, pick up the rest of the stones that day and stack them on the monument of the day's success. Make this stone anything you like—for me it is walking, rowing, dancing, or maybe a touch of light weightlifting that I should actually do more often.
Stone #3—Liturgical Vitamin Ceremonies
My vitamin consumption has become an almost holy symbol of my intent to honor the body this surgery gave me. I bought a tea box (a wooden box with 12 square compartments) that sits next to my favorite chair. Every morning and night I open it up to behold the vitamin selection that assures my good health. There they all are—the multi vitamin, the Co-Q10, the calcium, the Colace (still needed from time to time). I take vitamins several times a day, and each time I take one, I whisper "I am good to me."
Stone #4—The Security of Staples
Always, always, always have the staples you need to stay the course for good health. This takes discipline and a list (laminated and always with you). For me, the staples are hard boiled eggs, fat free cottage cheese, Montreal steak spice, Lite Havarti cheese, apples, blueberries, fat-free yogurt, and Crystal Light. These must be in my reach at almost all times or I will most assuredly make the same bad choices that caused my weight gain. Make your own list and carry a small cooler in your car everyday if you must—and I have—so that you have no excuse. Never, never go home without knowing that you have the staples you need there. I do better without too much choice.
An important related "stone" to this one was a hard one for me to acknowledge and eventually convince the rest of my family to join me in honoring. I cannot have any food in my house that is not desirable for a weight-loss patient to consume. Once that first year of no appetite passes and hunger makes its inevitable return, the same temptations you once knew will be back. Even though you will feel rotten if you succumb, it is just too tempting. I find the de-temptation of the home environment and replacing it with staples (symbols of on-going health) is critical for me. Any family member frustrated by this strategy can find plenty of excuses to sneak out of the house for a non-healthy treat.
Stone #5—Surround Yourself with Stone Masons
This has to do with the ongoing support we all need in life to achieve any of the goals we set before us, particularly the goal of good health after weight-loss surgery. For some, this may mean participating in support groups. I have had a mixed reaction to formal groups for bariatric patients. Prior to surgery, I found the groups to be absolutely inspiring with so many stories of success transformation. They were a remarkable source of hope during a time of despair.
However, not long after my surgery, I found that most support groups were negative. The participants focused on what wasn't working, what they couldn't eat, or what they didn't like. Since I had been totally prepared for the changes that my surgery was intended to bring, I did not find what I wanted in a group. Look intentionally for a support group that absolutely encourages the excitement (and yes, reality) of a body that has been readjusted completely to bring about a transformation. Yes, our cups may now be literally half full, but our lives and futures are virtually overflowing. Surround yourself with people who see it that way and, do as I did, select your own personal support team. The people on that team are your stone masons who will help you set the stones you choose in place and secure them for life.
Stone #6—Celebrate and Play
At least once a quarter, take a day to do nothing but celebrate. Keep a list of the things that you always said that you would do when you lost the weight—take a hike, ride a horse, go to a concert, climb a mountain, go sit on the beach and watch a sunset, shop, etc. Write down everything you can imagine and, like a bucket list, do them one by one. Plan these important days, give them to yourself and review the stones in your weight-loss structure. If you can, take the day off on your surgery anniversary and honor your good health.
Stone #7—Share the Joy
Take some of the new energy of life that is most certainly one of the extraordinary benefits of weight-loss surgery and give it away to somebody who needs it. Do this in whatever way the world calls you to give something back. People carry "weight" in very many ways and I think we end up with an obligation once ours is gone, to help others carry their own or lose it as the case may be.
Stone #8—Lighten Up and Face the Facts
The reality of my numbers is as follows. The last time I weighed prior to surgery, I was a precious but substantial 327 pounds. I would lose a total of 167 pounds, 18 of which have found their way back. Of course, this predictable weight gain is a fact that strikes sheer terror in the heart of any person who has struggled with weight loss and knows how easy and devious the return of pounds can be. However, using the stone stacking method described here, I have discovered how to maintain my weight within about a two-pound fluctuation over the past year. Put simply, the balance of stones and habits for me that I have in place right now will accommodate maintenance. What I also know is that if I want to be as lean as I have been (which I very much would), I will have to exercise a bit more and trim some additional calories out of my diet to create that outcome. These are facts, not magic and not a failure of the surgery. Just a reminder that I will have to continue to use my stones in different ways everyday for the rest of my life to sharpen the tool of my surgery and create the monument to good health that I want my cairn to be .
Well I didn't get to finish my testing on Thursday. I guess my insurance approved an endoscopy rather than an upper GI, so they called and canceled.
So, I continue to wait.........
I originally sat down to write this post with positive attitude, with so much to say.... And now I sit here amazed at how quick my mood could be changed with just one simple comment-- from someone who I do actually like and think of as a friend.
"Just go get yourself a gym membership and work it off"-- was the comment I got from my friend when they saw that I was logging into this website...
How often do people say this to us? (Us being the "over weight" of the world...) And let me clearify- I'm not just "Overweight"- I AM OBESE! I am fat, and I know it. To deny it would be stupid- why would I try to deny what the naked eye can see?? If I could lose the weight I NEED to lose by simply working out- don't they think I would have done that by now?! Don't they think I would save myself a ton of money, a ton of time, and just simply "get a gym membership and work it off"????? I just don't understand!!!
The person who happened to make this comment is a nurse- a RN. Someone who is supposed to be medically trained. So, I guess I was wrong as assuming that those in the medical field would understand a little more than the uneducated. But- you know what they say about assuming!!! I should have known better I guess!
I guess it's kind of like how extremly skinny people are always told "just eat something!" or "put some meat on your bones!" It's not always that easy. Of course, because I am on the opposite end of that (on the obese side) I would love to be one of those who are told to eat something or put meat on my bones, the grass is always greener, right?! But the truth is, it's not just that simple. Just going to the gym and working out isnt going to make us lose all the weight we need to lose, and just eating something wont make an unhealthy underweight person gain the weight they need. Not all of us get they pleasure of being able to have "healthy weight bodies"- not all of us get to shop in the regular sized departments, not all of us get to wake up with the energy and ability to have a "regular" day. Some of us have to shop in "plus sized" or even "Children's" departments-- some of us have to sit down and take breaks when others can walk the whole mile or play with their children-- some of us have to fight things like diabetes or heart disease (or other diseases) related to our weights...
I'm sorry- just letting out steam... people just upset me with how simple minded they are, and the judgements they pass... I am not a lazy person. I am a 27 year old single mother who takes care of not only a 4 year old child- but also my grandmother. I work two jobs, and I go to school... I work out when I can, but honestly- no, I don't do it as often as I should- but when do I have time?! Quit judging me and learn to look at your own self... I don't talk about your situations, please don't talk about mine unless you are here to support me.
Has any of the blogers out there who use to use the old lap-band-talk site see what I'm seeing?
There use to be a lot more blogers maybe around 30 to 40 a day. Now I have notice there are only 2 maybe 6 a day. I think many are feeling the same way that I am about this new set-up.. HATE IT!!!!!!!!
The old way you felt a more personal connection with a reader, now it just feel so cold and unpersonal... I miss my old friends that use to be out there. I have grown to know them. We new all about each other, there kids, weddings, travels, work, grandkids, there pets, there home towns-ect... We use to talk about our feelings and the space we where in at that moment. And those shared feelings helped me with my feelings, most of the time they where the same feelings or what I may have been going through at the moment also. I miss knowing how they are doing and how far we all have come in our amazing journeys.
I got as far as I am in my journey because of all the loving support I found here. I dropped over 120 something pounds here with your support. (And of course a lot of hard work on my part) Thank you for being there for me...
There is still less then a hand full you left here, and thank you for still being here. I think you know who you are without mentioning names. THANK YOU..
This new site setup am feeling a huge disconnect with. Maybe it's just me......
If anyone els is feeling the same please let me know? So I know am not along in feeling this way.
Change is apart of life this I know, but change is to make things better not chase people away. Going from 30 or 40 a day to 2 or 6 a day. UMMMMM seams to me it's not a good change.
I MISS YOU MY OLD BANTERS! - AND MOST OF ALL I MISS THE OLD SET-UP!
Has anyone else had the second fill two weeks following the first? I have very little restriction now with the fill they just did. 20 pounds down since pre-op diet Surgery was on Nov 13th...thanks!
I am so happy that after 2 weeks I am really doing well. I'm back to excersing, still on liquids for 1 week but over all feeling physically well. My scars are healing really well and I see my surgeon Monday and am really excited. The hardest part is the first 6 weeks just making it through the liquid/puree phase but still looking forward to my first fill, hopefully before New Years Day. After reading a lot on the forums I think still the only thing that makes me uneasy is the thought of trigger foods and temptations. I see its a issue for a lot. Just gotta keep moving forward, this is going to be a good journey!
RING IN THE HOLIDAYS GUILT FREE
The holiday season provides use the opportunity to catch up with old friends and family and to partake in the holiday meals and holiday drinking.
This does not have to be an anxiety provoking time. Good Food and A Nice Drink are to be enjoyed without not making you feel so guilty about it.
The holidays are here once again, and I'm always coming up with new ideas to help the holidays along.
I started doing guilt free drinks with part-1 when I started celebrating, my new weight loss this past summer. And I did not want to blow all the heard work I have done. And did not want to give up all the celebrations with my family and friends. So here is a great way to do it all and not feel guilt while doing it. So drink up, have fun and not worried about the scale with these 100% GUILT FREE DRINKS. I kept them all under 200 calories so you can have more then one if you like. I have 24 drink recipes for you. I will give them to you -6- at a time for the whole month of December. ~ HAPPY HOLIDAYS ~ AND ENJOY!!!!
CHAMPAGNE DRINKS OF ALL TYPES ~ Happy Chanukah ~ Merry Christmas ~ Happy New Year ~
"A Goodnight Kiss"
4 oz Champagne
1 splash Campari bitters
1 sugar cube
1 drop Angostura bitters
Place a drop of angostura bitters on a sugar cube and drop into a champagne flute. Add champagne and splash of campari.
(per 4.1 oz serving)
Calories: 90
"American Glory"
3 oz Champagne
2 oz orange juice
2 oz lemonade
Add ingredients to a frosted ice-filled highball glass.
(per 7 oz serving)
Calories:111
"Aztec"
3 oz Champagne
3/4 oz watermelon schnapps
1/2 oz gold tequila
Pour ingredients into a champagne flute and serve.
(per 4.3 oz serving)
Calories:148
"Two Lovers Black Tie"
3 oz cold Pineau des Charentes white wine
1 1/2 oz Champagne
Pour into a wine glass and garnish with a black grape.
(per 4.5 oz serving)
Calories:90
"A Very Merry Champagne"
3/4 oz Kirschwasser cherry brandy
1/4 oz cherry heering
4 oz Champagne
Stir kirschwasser and cherry liqueur together in a mixing glass filled with ice cubes. Strain into a champagne flute, fill with champagne, and serve.
(per 5 oz serving)
Calories:160
"Champagne Ambon"
4 oz Champagne
1/2 oz Pisang Ambon liqueur
Pour into a champagne flute, and serve.
(per 4.5 oz serving)
Calories:131
FOR MORE OF MY GUILT FREE DRINKS PART 1 AND 2 OR FOR MY RECIPE OF THE DAY! VIST MY BLOG AT
http://life-after-lap-band.blogspot.com/
OR CHECK THEM OUT HERE AT LAP-BAND-TALKS
I AM SO HAPPY I AM NO A POST OP PATIENT...IT SEEMS IKE IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET IT BUT IT WA ALL WORTH THE WAIT. I FEEL AWESOME AND ALREADY STARTING TO LOSE A LITTLE WEIGHT ;0) THE ONLY PAIN I HAVE IS AT THE PORT SITE...AND A LITTLE GAS FROM DRINKING A LITTLE TO FAST :/
WORDS TO THE WISE SIP...SIP....SIP TO Avoid GAS AND DISCOMFORT
Happy banding
Well, it has finally happened! I am actually banded! Whew! It's been 3 days and I can't believe it. I really went through with this.
Now, with every journey, there has to be hard work, right? Well, HELLO HARD WORK! I never knew the simple things like getting in and out of bed, sitting in a chair and drinking out of a bottle of water could be so challenging. Let me take a step back...
So it all started on the day of my surgery. I was sitting in the surgical waiting room at the hospital with a pleasant calm actually. I was thinking to myself the whole time, "Wow! I am really going to do this!". I was excited, yet comfortable with the decision I was making. They called my name and I went to the surgical holding area. They drew some blood and then had me change into a hospital gown while they hooked me up to what seemed like every machine possible. I remember being rolled into that operating room, having the "oxygen" (I say that with complete sarcasm because that's what the nurse told me) put over me and not remembering a thing until I woke up in the recovery room.
Well, HELLO RECOVERY ROOM! I remember waking up to what seemed like little elves building a house inside my stomach. The nurse then informed me that my doctor had also done a hernia repair along with my band, so I would feel a little more pain than usual. A LITTLE?! I never have felt pain like that in MY LIFE!!
There has been times in the last 3 days where I almost regretted my decision because of the pain I was feeling. But each day, each hour and each minute got better and better. I'm finally feeling almost like my normal self and I can honestly say, after this little bump, I cannot wait to start my new life!
I am began my journey in July 2010. I attended the seminar in August 2010. I had my first consultation with surgeon in October 2010. I had my nutritionist visit at the end of September. Then I was medically cleared by the pulmonary in November 2010. Then I had my psychiatrist visit in November 2010. Here is December. They are needing my weight records from 2007-2009. I mean come on.. Its getting a little old having to wait on things. I mean I could have had this prior to meeting with the surgeon. So, now I am waiting on my ob gyn to send those records. However, I can't recall if I went to the doctors in 2007. Sad, I know..
IT'S NOT JUST A TOOL!
In the Thanksgiving hub-bub, I forgot to post this one here...and WTHeck happened to LBT while I was off cooking and stuffing myself (and the turkey)?!!
You know I love change...I'm always shaking things up, but com'on! I'm already tech-challenged and now I have to relearn this...yikes. OK, problem already...can't find the 'cut' feature (as in cut and paste...come out come out wherever you are...I give up.
Anywhoooo...Hope you all had a great turkey-day and enjoyed your families as much as I did! Enjoy...
--------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING- A thesis paper follows (if you thought the last one was long LOL), as I pulled some things from the book, and I probably won't leave this up long because of that. I'd appreciate your thoughts/questions,
*Post Deleted For Lap Band Book
The actual 1990's were wonderful for me; had both my kids, settled into our home & community, I was happy and will hang on to those memories for the rest of my life. Now the actual 191-199 weight range is another story!
Going up the scale, I remember feeling angry, depressed, ashamed, hopeless and out of control. It all started with the upper 170's and 180's when I had to quit teaching aerobics because of my knees, but that's a whole other good bye yet to come! When I hit 190, I started shopping at Lane Bryant. I would tear the Lane Bryant labels from the clothes as soon as I got home because I was so embarrassed. I started avoiding school outings and social events that I used to love. I have a memory BURNED into my head that makes me cry when I think of it. My son and I were going through old pictures and he found one of him & I in his classroom, we were both smiling, having a blast. He said "We never do this anymore". It hurts just typing this....I probably ate myself into a stupor after that one. I view the 190's as my "gateway" weight...so close to turning back, but instead I propelled myself up to over 240. OK, that was then...this is now
Going down the scale the 190's haven't been so bad. I started out squeezing myself into my old size 14 jeans and now they are loose on me. I get to feeling pretty good, and then I go clothes shopping...then those lovely mirrors remind me I have to keep going and stay on track! I have had so many sweet compliments from people, including my son's 14 year old friends! Who would think they would even notice! I have opened myself up to new friendships (something I hated doing when I was obese) and new experiences. My husband and I are like honeymooners again! I had no idea how much me being obese hurt him. He is just now sharing his feelings (as best a man can lol!). My kids are proud of me.....though they never ever said it, it pains me to think that they weren't for so long.
So, good bye 190's. A large part of my life was wasted with you. I hope I have learned from you and never see you again!
OK, that took me 2 days of contemplation & over an hour & a box of Kleenex to type! Now that I have said a proper good bye, it's off to the gym to battle the 80's!
Thank you God for your love and strength!
Well I'm two days into the Pre-Op diet and I've done exactly what the Nutritionist and the "binder", have told me to. I'm nervous but incredibly excited. It's been a hard road these last 7yrs. Never imagined I'd ever hit 300lbs. I went from being a shapely 160ish, 5'7 lady to this. Clearly it didn't happen over night and my thyroid is fine. I literally just ate and ate until I hit rock bottom. I have an amazing Husband who is very supportive and who has never made me feel bad about my weight. I have a beautiful little girl who I adore immensely. I have been thinking about what has caused me to eat myself into oblivion and it's taken some soul searching. Probably a little bit of depression, stress, and boredom. I think boredom is the real culprit though. I've noticed these last few days especially since I've changed my eating behaviors that I turn to food when theres nothing else to do. I lost 1 pound so far so I'm feeling enthusiastic and hopeful. I've been researching the sleeve for months now and it really feels right for me.
So yesterday I had a vacation day scheduled from work so I could observe a teacher at a local elementary school for my Graduate program. I got done observing WAAAY early, and had a bunch of free time. Went to bf's house to hang out, and got some much needed rest. (I really haven't had much since my surgery) PRE BAND...I would have holed up in bed with chips and m&ms. POST BAND, I had blended oatmeal with protein powder (put it in blender and made a "smoothie...mush") Bowl of progresso healthy soup, had sex, and came home to some turkey and plain mashed yams.
YES...I slipped in some sex on y'all. The surgery instructions said, "sexual activity may resume after 3 weeks, or as ready" Well...I felt ready. And I survived. lmao! I don't want to be graphic, but this is something I have NOT seen discussed on the site, so I just thought I'd include it in my blog, to help out any newbies with questions.
Down another pound, and I need to start hitting the gym tomorrow. Treadmill and elliptical until first fill, then cleared for actual workouts. No abs for 6 weeks. Working out always helps my emotions, and I NEED the help right now.
Live Wild,
Laura
What is it like after sugery? I plan on not having my band filled during surgery so that I have a chance to recover and get through the holidays before I am restricted.
Do you always end up eating mouse bites when you eat? Is that as long as you have the band or just during the recovery from surgery?
Is there anything you will never get to eat again?
I want to be restricted in the sense that I feel full but I am hoping I will still be able to eat some of the things I enjoyed. I am hoping to have better portion control and make better decsions with the band.
How long do most of you plan on keeping your band in for?
What a difference a year makes.
I'm able to get into that great holiday dress or that great outfit. I'm now that skinny girl in the room that I used to feel envious of. I used to be a size 10-12. I'm back to that size now - almost a size 10, smaller then a 12 but not quit a 10 yet. In the immortal words of Jackie Gleason - How sweet it is!
I am 5'11" and used to weigh 288 pounds. I dropped 121 pounds, and my doctor now calls me "skinny". I went from morbidly obese to obese, to normal, and I'm now being called skinny. How sweet it is!
I thank god and my doctor every day for my band. I am the happiest I have been in so many years. My depression about my weight, and many many medical problems, went away too. How sweet it is!
Last year this time I was 2 months into my lap-band and lost a little more then 25 pounds. I would not go to any of the holiday parties I was invited to, I would not dare to go, still so ashamed of my body and my looks.
Holiday time and feeling good!
RECIPE OF THE DAY! LOW FAT-LOW CALORIE MAC & CHEESE
Macaroni and cheese is perhaps the ultimate in comfort foods, but if you use regular cheese, butter for a roux and whole milk, that's an awful lot of fat calories. Here's a low fat macaroni and cheese that dispenses with the butter and substitutes reduced-fat cheese and nonfat milk for their full-fat counterparts. A great addition to our family meals. Your family will love the taste. Most Mac and cheese have so many calories about 900+ calories in a lot of recipes. Here it's only 203 calories how great is that. ENJOY!!
Makes 6 servings
Prep time:15 minutes
Cooking time:20 minutes
203 Calories Per serving
CHECK OUT MY BLOG FOR MORE INFO ON THIS RECIPE AND SO MANY MORE
http://life-after-la...d.blogspot.com/
SO IF U ARE UP TO LOOKING FOR AOME NEW FRIENDS. I AM GETTING SUGERY THE DEC. 8TH 2010. SO I WILL BE ALL NEW TO THIS. AND ID LOVE LOVE LOVE OT CHAT WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE LAP-BAND ALREADY AND SOMEONE WHO US GOING THREW. SO I'M HERE:lol:!!
I'm more the disappointed in myself than ever before.
I honestly thought that I had more self-control. my surgery is
dec. 7 and I'm excited yet I can't seem to follow the rules.
I drink my shake for breakfast and lunch and come around
dinner i'm so tired of being bloated and not satisfied and of
not chewing but sipping that I make myself a turkey sandwich.
granted is not the worst choice but the fact that i'm on the pre-op diet
with specific guidelines makes it a bad choice. I just.....ugh...so
frustrated and wouldn't really want to mess up my surgery.
I try to look on the positive (lost 13 pounds so far) but its a little
hard when you let yourself down....
sorry for venting....
So of course I dont like my body. I got the lapband for a reason. As long as I can remember I've been semi-obsessed with losing weight and getting to be "skinny" and fit into skinny jeans etc. I want to look hot and feel hot and be hot. I was always, and still am to a point, jealous of all my skinny friends and all the cute clothes they could wear, and how all the boys liked them and not me. The result this mind set has on me is not really the best ... It makes me feel really discouraged, disappointed and even like I am a failure because I have been overweight since I hit puberty. I used to feel worthless and unlovable because of my size. I've recently come to the realization, even though I have had this head knowledge for a long time, that God loves me just the way I am. He created me in HIS image. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter what this stupid PCOS or I have done to my body.
Today during my devotions the ending question/reflection point was to ask God where you have discontentment in your life and for his help to overcome it, come through it, etc. So I was praying and all I could think about is my weight. The verse I read right before the question was talking about how fearfully and wonderfully made we are and we should know it full well. My weight and being fearfully and WONDERFULLY made doesnt really seem like it goes together but I realized it does. God made me fearfully and wonderfully made, no matter my hair color or how I cut my hair, no matter my weight or what clothes I wear. No matter what I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I need to know it full well. It is not about getting down to a certain weight on the scale, or a certain size ... God is not worried about trivial stuff like that. God is more concerned with my heart and of course if I am healthy enough to do His work.
So my new take on everything is that I will not focus on the size I want to be. I will not focus on the scale. I will focus on my health, eating the proper food and in the proper portions. I will focus on being active and keeping my heart and lungs healthy. I will focus on making sure my muscles can do the jobs God has planned for me. I will focus on keeping my body in good condition so when God says go, I can go and not worry about my body not taking me there! How freeing it is to not be tied to the scale or those cute little jeans I saw at the store. How freeing it is to be tied to God We are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made and we should ALL know it full well!!!
I missed my six month bandaversary which was 11/26. I was at my mom's who saw me for the first time since before my surgery. She was very suprised when I walked into baggage claim at DFW. I got a lot of positive reinforcement at her house (not from her but from everybody else). Since I decided to do lap band back in January I'v lost about 84 lbs. I'm under 200 for the first time in 6 years and I wear size 14 pants. My arms are horrendous and I am going to focus on them with a trainer (still in 16W), but I'm very very pleased with it all.
I had a terrible Thanksgiving. I am still very reactive to stress, and I was stressed out that morning trying to get everything done. At 52, you would think I wouldn't feel like a bad child around my mom, but I do. I took the first tiny bite of mashed potatoes and it CAME RIGHT BACK UP. Luckily in my napkin, but it was like potato slime. Nothing else would work so I just pushed food aound my plate and pretended to eat but my aunt and daughter caught me. I got better by Friday but I realize how stress affects me. This never used to happen. I just got home last night and I feel somewhat better. We worked out every day but Thursday and I lost another 4 lbs last week so I'm happy. My goal is to be at goal by my 1 year anniversary which is 6 months and about 50 lbs away.
I have to go back to work this afternoon; I have an interview with a company closer to home this morning. Nice to "see everyone" again and wish me luck today!
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
Was sind last resting-place besten Gewinnchancen in einem Casino? "Einarmige Banditen"
Einarmige Banditen
Casinos werden in erster Linie mit Roulette und Poker in Verbindung gebracht, aber Statistiken zeigen, dass 61 % der Besucher von Spielhallen ihre Zeit damit verbringen, einarmige Banditen zu spielen (Daten von 2013 von der American Gaming Association). Perish Regeln der Spielautomaten sind sehr einfach, und der niedrige Mindesteinsatz macht sie auch fur decease armsten Spieler zuganglich.