I met with the surgeon and signed consent and paid my $300 program fee. Everything is now being sent to the insurance company. The lady told me it could take up to two weeks to get insurance approval but, I think my husband's approval only took 3 days. So, somewhere between 3 days and two weeks before I can get a surgery date.
I am thinking that I am going to start the pre-surgical diet on Monday. They said to start it two weeks before surgery but, since I'm not 100% clear when that will be, I figure every pound I lose between now and then is a good thing. I guess we will be doing some massive kitchen cabinet purging this weekend!
WARNING: This post is brought to you almost exclusively by Emotional Me. She isn't happy.
Whoever came up with the idea that weight loss is merely a matter of calories in v. calories out was a moron. But I might be a bigger moron for buying into it. Being overweight is a hugely complex issue, one that might be affected by, but has a lot more to it than, merely eating too much or moving too little. If it didn't have a lot more to it, there wouldn't be so many of us who dieted and failed to lose weight, exercised and failed to lose weight, cut portions and failed to lose weight. Who just plain failed to lose weight.
Do a little research and the internet will tell you that in order to lose 1 pound of fat, you simply need to eat 3500 fewer calories than you have expended. Allow me to demonstrate to you that this is b@#&$%!t, using myself as an example:
Using multiple factors including my height, my weight, my sex, my age, and my level of activity (which I underestimated, just to be safe), I calculated my Basal Metabolic Rate and the number of calories required by my body each week at present time in order to maintain my current rate. We'll call that number B (for Baseline).
Next, I used My Fitness Pal to track every single item that passed my lips during the past seven days. I'm not kidding about that. If I ate it or drank it, I tracked it, including my 1 calorie calcium supplements and my 5 calorie multivitamins. I missed nothing. My Fitness Pal is great in that it keeps track of each day's calories and also charts your average calories throughout the week. We'll call the number of calories I consumed C (for Consumed).
According to the experts, weight loss is a simple matter of B - C = X . If X is a negative number, then that means you're using more calories than you're eating and you should begin to lose weight. If X is -3500, then you should lose 1 pound. This equation is crap.
I know this because in my B - C = X equation for last week, my X = -7036. I ate 7036 calories fewer than my body required to maintain its weight last week. And what happened? I lost 0.3 lbs.
0.3
Frankly, I'm hocked off. But more than that, I'm scared to death. All the lap band can do for me is to help me to consume less food and fewer calories. If doing that won't actually translate into weight loss, what the hell have I done? What have I spent all those thousandds of dollars on? What have I put my body through? What have I been obsessing over for all this time? Has this all been a big, heinous mistake?
I'd like to allow Logical Me to talk me down from this clock tower I'm occupying at the moment, but frankly, I can't hear a word she's saying over the ranting, raving, and screaming of Emotional Me. Eventually, I hope Emotional Me gets tired and shuts up (or just screams so much, she loses her voice) and Logical Me can get me back on track, but today, so far, is NOT a good day.
Well, I only have 6 more days left until I get sleeved. I think I’m still in denial a little about what I’m doing. I’m following my pre-op diet (and it isn’t easy), and I have support from everyone I know. I had to battle for 6 months before my insurance approved the surgery. I think my nerves are getting the best of me. I'm not worried about complications from surgery, or the pain. I know that everything passes. I’m afraid of failure. I have failed so many times. I have given up. I know this is not a miracle surgery & it’s not going to fix my problems. Only I can do that. I’m hoping that this is what I need to successfully help me. I’m writing this for myself. I have dealt with depression for 10 years. I have been medicated for 10 years. After I had my daughter I suffered from postpartum depression. And, it still lingers. I’m scared that it will get worse. I don’t want to be medicated. I want to be healthy. I just don’t want to give up. Just needed to put this on cyber land.
Well, when someone isn't my friend, I don't talk to them So I'll be giving my scale the silent treatment and let it think about what it has done. Once I feel that it has given it enough thought, we'll try again
Work is driving me batshit crazy - so tired of always being at home (I work from home)
Can't wait to get a new job.
Food has been really good - water could probably be a little better. I'm meeting the minimum, but I need to do better than that. Working on it
On yesterday, I called my insurance company (Tricare) to ask a few questions regarding the requirements of the surgery. Of course, I knew the answers for a portion but wasn't sure about the hospitalization. During the conversation, the representative informed me that my surgeon actually submitted the paperwork that morning and it was in pending status. What i felt yesterday was a little relieve since I have been in the 200's the majority of my adult life. Being a wife and mother, i just want the healthy lifestyle of bein beneficial to myself and my family. With a family history of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attacks and high cholesterol, it is time for me to be concerned about my health. My father passed at 44 from a massive heart attack along wiith diabetes and kidney failure. It hurts my heart each day because I don't want to leave my family so young like my father who I loved dearly. So this entire journey and process has so many values to me and i am just going to be patient and learn it is a lifetime committment to be a better me.
So, tomorrow will not only be my birthday, but will also be 1 month since I've gotten my surgery!! I will be weighing myself tomorrow and hoping that the totally weight I have lost for the month is 30 pounds. That would be awesome!! I also can start regular food!! YAY! No more liquid or soft diets. My stomach isn't hurting anymore and I can finally sleep on both my sides comfortably with no pain!! My Phillies Jersey that only couldn't even button can now be buttoned, my jeans that couldn't even be zipped can now zip, and I went to the movies for the first time in a loooooooong time and I was able to fit into the seat better then I did the last time I went. Little things are proving to me that I am in fact losing this weight and it really makes me motivated and happy!! =] I got to see my surgeon in another week so hopefully he can tell me I can start lifting so I can start in on my weighs and the gym. Just wanted to write a little update and say how great I'm doing. No pain [except if I walk a little too much], I have so much more energy I don't even know what to do with myself lol, and I'm just looking and feeling better. I'll probably take some pictures tonight of myself and post them later. Thank you everybody for all your support that you've given me!!
Well I am now down 51 pounds! Sooo happy! Life is going great and I'm unbelievably happy. I recently started the couch to 5k program on Monday. The first time, I thought I was going to die. However, I did it for the second time yesterday, and it was noticeably better. I am really trying to focus on breathing and it's helping. I also purchased the Fitbit. To be honest (and I know this is not the opinion of most) I probably should have just saved my money. It hasn't been helping me with anything really. I think it's interesting to look at the numbers, but that's all. Oh well! Well, not much of an update, I know, but I don't like to let too much time pass without a post! Hope this finds everyone well. Have a blessed day!
I was banded on Tuesday, 2/21/12 and had a great experience at the hospital.
Yesterday was a little rough...the excess gas was really bad and extremely uncomfortable. Finally last night it started to ease up and this morning, I feel wonderful. I actually got up and took a shower....I feel human again!
I can't believe I've started this journey....my world has been in a whirlwind since January 5th (my 1st appt with my surgeon). My insurance company (BCBS of MA) was incredible easy in granting approval without having to jump through so many hoops and 6 weeks later I've already got my band....
I can't wait to see what the next few weeks has in store for me....bring it on!!!!!!!
Nothing new to report here from my neck of the woods. Totally unmotivated to go to the gym yesterday, but I did it, brisk walk on the treadmill for a half hour and I was sweating, sore today. Going back to the gym again tonight.
This weekend is going to be tough. Tomorrow night is my friend's birthday party at the casino--so nervous about that and what/how I'm going to eat. My two best girlfriends who are going (one is the birthday girl the other is another good friend) know that I have the lapband so they don't think it's odd how I eat, but the tradition is the day after our night of festivites we go to a diner and get food. Usually I get an omlette with cheese, mushroom, and all the fixins'. I think this time it'll be an egg white omlette with veggies a little cheese and fruit. Saturday night the bf wants shrimp scampi think I can handle 4 oz of shrimp and a little pasta, but I still get so worried. Sunday my friend wants us to come to her house for birthday cake, but I think I'm going to pass since Monday I'm going for a fill and with my luck the scale won't move
I totally b*$#)!d the other day that I lost only 1.5 lbs in a week, when I looked back at my blog and read about all the crap I ate, 1.5 lb loss is actually pretty darn good. Pat on the back for me!
I already planned out my meals for the next couple of weeks. For breakfast I found a Mexican Breakfast Casserole on the Allergan lap-band website. For lunch I'm going to make baked falafels, and make like a half sandwich with a sandwich thin, put a little hummus on there and lettuce and falafels. Dinner I'm going to try a recipe for general tso's tofu.
Browsing these forums the other day, a member asked what the deal is the obsession with food post op? For me, it's not "oh my god I can't wait to try that" it's "wow this is healthy, it's high in protein and it's going to taste way better than the crap I used to eat" if that's a bad obsession, then I'm a bad person I used to eat in the cafeteria here at work all the time, and it was always bad things. Now I bring in my breakfast and lunch I save money, calories, and in the long run my health. The only time I go to the cafeteria is on Fridays and I always get my egg white omlette for breakfast and my tuna sandwich on a multi grain bread (which I can only eat half of lol).
Anyway enough rambling, work has to be done, thanks so much for reading and the support on these forums, I hope myself and everyone else we can meet our goals one small (or large) pound at a time!
Good Morning Family,
I hope your "yesterday" was good, so that your "today" can be even better!
Spiritaul Food: Psalms 118:24
"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"
As we begin another day on our journey to our healthier selves, remember that God knows each and everyone of us by name and knows what we
struggle with daily. And with this, you can go through your day knowing that it was "designed" especially for you by our Creator and what ever comes
with your day has purpose, so be appreciative for the ups and downs, embrace them and "be glad that God cares for you!" :)
Day 23: "So-So"
Today was a beautiful day here on the central coast. Had 75-degree temps and sunny weather during my walk along the ocean. So lucky to live where I live while I go through this transition. We will most likely be moving within the year because the cost of living is catching up to us. But I'm so grateful to be here right now, to heal, and work towards something greater.
Yet, I felt sad most of the day today. Had a lot of nightmares last night, my husband woke me because I was making horrible sounds and I was drenched in sweat. I'm working through a lot of emotions right now with my therapist, trying to get to the bottom of my head hunger and self-sabatoging behavior. She told me that part of this process would be the nightmares and vivid dreams. Great...
Does anyone else feel like time is standing still? This third week seem to be going at a crawling pace, which is making me feel like the weight is taking forever to come off. Patience is not my strong suit. The days and nights are blurring together, and I'm losing a sense of time. I have moments where I think, "It's been over three weeks! I'm past the hardest part!" and then later, "It's been only three weeks, when will I be normal again?!"
I also know myself. Three maybe four weeks is my maximum. It's about how long I enjoy a new job. How long I usually lasted on diets in the past. About the amount of time I tried out a hobby only to realize it wasn't for me. It's that critical place where I either stick with it, or start giving up. I can feel it inside me, the moment of truth is cresting. I don't know which way it will go, but I know where I want it to go: Upwards and onwards. I don't want to quit, don't want to get weak. I hope I stay strong and make it through this week. It's too important not to!
I had my sleeve surgery on Feb. 13, 2012 and here it is nine days later and I'm struggling with my choice in having surgery. I haven't had any pain or horrible side effects. At the beginning, the diet I've been on was not a problem. But today, I find myself not wanting to eat, not because I'm not hungary, I don't want to eat because I don't have the desire to eat one more serving of strained soup, liquidy mashed potatoes, protein shakes, etc. My first follow-up with my surgen is one week away and I know I'll be receiving my next "approved" list of foods. Because my husband had the same surgery with the same doctor/dietician I know that I will be going to the next phase of "blenderized" foods until the six week check up. Which again is nothing more than soft foods in a blender. As for weight loss, I weighed myself the day after I got out of the hospital and I weighed 295 lbs, today which is one week later, I weighed 289.4 lbs. So yes, I have lost some weight but given the small amounts of food I'm eating, I was expecting to see more of a loss. Are my expectations unreasonable, can I be the only one struggling with the lack of variety in their meals??? I can't say my husband has been much support because all he can say is, honey it will get better. Maybe this is the time I should say that he does not follow his reccommended diet, he eats/drinks what he wants and because of this, has hit a plateau after initially losing 60 lbs. Any advice or acknowledgement that I am not the only who has struggled is appreciated!! Thanks
Well I am officially on my way as of today. Scheduled for Lapband revision to VSG on March 7th at Flagler Hospital in St. Augustine, FL with Dr. Robert Marema.
My prior journey was spread over the last six months during which I began to think that perhaps there was something wrong with my Lapband - that it wasn't just all my fault that I had gained back the weight I lost since having my Lapband surgery on 3/6/06. Now mind you, I do not blame the Lapband in total or probably even for most of the failure. I gave up on the whole thing a couple of years ago. I was so frustrated from either being too tight to eat or too loose and hungry to eat everything in sight and more. I was sick of the sliming, food getting stuck, excusing myself in restaurants, and never feeling full for more than 2 hours at a time. I went to multiple surgeons for fills. This past July I went to Dr. Marema who sent me for tests which revealed that the Lapband was not even on my stomach - it had slipped up on my esophagus which explained why food was always getting stuck but once it passed I was wide open as if I didn't have a band. For the first time ever I felt somewhat vindicated. It wasn't just my fault anymore. I have learned a lot of personal lessons and what I believe to be contributors to my failure and which I am absolutely convicted that I won't repeat them again. The past is in the past and it's time to move forward. It's been an emotional and physical at times roller coaster just getting to this point after two appeals, etc. to have this surgery finally deemed 'medically necessary', approved and scheduled - so I'll leave it at that.
So..... drum roll please...... Today's official Pre-Op start and stats:
YIKES!!!! Putting this out for the public to see.... what am I nuts!!! (I'll explain more below).
2/22/2012 - Measurements:
Pre-Op Diet Weight: 286.2 lbs.
Height: 5 1 1/2"
Bust: 53 1/2"
Waist: 49"
Hips: 60"
Thighs - L: 32" R: 32"
Calves - L: 18" R: 18"
Upper Arms - L: 21" R: 21 1/2"
Forearms - L: 12 1/4" R: 13"
Age = 52
I'm attaching some before photos taken first thing this morning. I purposely wore a close-fitting shirt and pulled up the shorts in front to show slightly above my knees for comparison purposes as I lose weight. No smiles there.... but I expect that to change in the future too
The main reason I am putting this out here is specifically related to one of the things I think I did not do well with my Lapband surgery.... which was telling
others about it and facing the facts.
Prior to and just after my Lapband surgery only my husband knew about it. My kids didn't know - my sister who is a Nurse Practitioner didn't know - nor my other siblings nor my mother who lived with me at the time. I told no one at work either - I didn't want them to gossip and I didn't want the 'food police' around. I thought for sure I would lose all this weight and then I would tell them. Well my mother passed away in 2007 without ever knowing and still to this day the people I worked with do not know. I eventually told my kids, siblings and a select few friends. The most I ever lost with the Lapband though was 44 lbs so no one was exactly noticing any dramatic changes since I started at 273 lbs - some certainly did but most people are self absorbed anyway, in my experience. And when you are super morbidly obese 44 lbs is not as noticeable as when you are just obese.
So.... this time it will be different. I've already told several people at work that I'll be having this surgery. My family and friends know also. And now.... so do you....
and so, once again, the journey begins....
Until next time,
Susie
I love their fit menu. You can get a steak with sauteed mushrooms and onions, some creamed spinach in a portabello mushroom cap, and potatoes (or sub broccoli or another veggie) for like 14 bucks and its 3 meals - a TOTAL of 550 calories.
My sleeve LOVES beef. LOVES it. Because its a grilled sirloin, its a low fat cut of meat as well - which is even better. That's what I had for dinner last night - and what I'm having for lunch now.
I'm very glad to be eating red meat again - I get anemic very easily and I'd much rather get iron naturally than take supplements. Most mineral supplements have copper in them and I can't have it. Its hard to find a pure iron supplement that doesn't use copper as a binder.
Well, everything is going great! I've lost 35 lbs so far! Very very happy about that.
I had my 4wk follow-up visit last Tuesday also. My doc was very pleased with my status/progress and he has encouraged me to keep a food diary. I know I'm suppose to do that, but it is just not my thing. I just do not like to keep a food diary. I went through that numerous diets before on WW and all other diets. To me, my new sleeved stomach, isn't a diet, it is a new way of life, living and eating. I know exactly what I'm eating these days - protein first and there is not much room for anything else.
I did experience the dreaded 'sliming' last Friday. I thought it was a myth, but it is not. I thought I could eat a little something - a few bites of firm tofu, cooked yellow beets and some quinoa salad. I chewed and chewed and chewed it up so it was kind like a puree (since last week and this week I'm on the 2wk pureed phase), but...immediately afterwards, I was so sick and knew it wasn't going to stay down. It didn't and along came the sliming. Ok, can't talk about it much as it starts to turn my stomach again. Needless to say, it was a lesson. Gotta take this eating thing super slow. So, since then, I've been back on liquids, yogurt, silken tofu, soups. I'm making a pureed curried sweet potato soup this evening and will make it kinda thick to move more into the purees. I guess as time goes on, I will at some point eat solid food, but it seems like that is down the road. I would so love a raw green salad with all kinds of veg in it...someday. It still continues to floor me knowing the amount of food or nutrition I put in my body compared to the amount pre-sleeve.
I'm now in my..what I considered pre-sleeve, my skinny jeans, which will soon be my fat jeans! It's nice to get rid of my 2X and 3X ugly clothing. Well, a lot of it was very nice, but I have shrunk out of them. Hee hee!!!
One Love.
I just realized that it will be my 1 month surgiversary on Monday. In the day to day, it feels like a struggle, but overall I can't believe it's already been a month.
I'm dealing with head hunger alot this week. I feel like everyone is conspiring against me to show me what I CAN'T have. Pizza, chinese food, etc. It's not like I expect everyone to eat the same as I am, but do you have to do it in front of me. I know in another month, I probably can have one or two bites of each of these, but for now....
Food for thought for those who are struggling today with any phase of this journey: Ecclesiastes 7:14 says.
"The end of a matter is better than its beginning and patience is better than pride!"
So wherever you may be in your journey today be patience and just remember if you keep working hard and doing what your doctor said, then each time to you move to a new phase and get closer to your goal, you will see that God's word will not come back void and "your end will definitely be better than your beginning!" Much Spiritual Love
Happy Wednesday everyone! Happy to report that the cat is fine, he was a little constipated now he's back to eating like an obese kitty lol.
I thought I would eat chobani every day for the rest of my life, not going to lie I'm a little tired of it. Going to try some new breakfast recipes to bring to work.
I found a recipe online to make crock pot falafels I'm definetly going to make those for lunch in a couple of weeks, cannot wait to try them I love falafels!
Does anyone pinterest? I discovered it yesterday and I'm in love!!!!!
Down 1.5 lbs from last week, at first I was pissed off, but then I realized after I ate like crap all weekend, 1.5 lbs is not that bad!
Well that's all to report, thanks for reading, and thanks for the support
day 7 post-op and i am feeling great! today is the first day that i will be home by myself since having surgery (can you say party!). my plans today include a little wii action, completing some homework, reviewing more band materials, trying to eat six small meals, drinking more fluids, and taking a short walk!
i took the time yesterday to review some of the materials in my "life after bariatric surgery" notebook that i received from my insurance mandated classes and found that it was really useful. i found a few sample menus, a proposed grocery list, and a breakdown of things that i am able to eat. i found that it was ok for me to have that chicken breast i ate a few days ago as it was pureed and i even made myself some turkey chili yesterday (yum)! i even made myself some decaf pomegranate tea and sipped it most of the day.
i found that my protein shakes can be counted in my liquid intake, so i don't feel as bad for not getting down what seems like millions of ounces of water. i still find it difficult to get all the meals in as i am just not hungry, but knowing that i am now able to get my protein from other sources besides shakes has been a great discovery. it seems much more manageable to spread it throughout the day in small meals rather than trying to drink 2-3 shakes. although i do love my shakes and have not grown tired of them yet...i just get full so quickly it takes me hours to get them down...
i went for a short walk (don't laugh probably half a mile or less) and was feeling some discomfort afterwards, but took some tylenol and was fine. i was feeling so good yesterday, i decided to do my hair and polish my nails. i am trying to get back to normal as i feel that my life has been consumed with all things band. i am sure that once i return to work my obsession with all things band and weight related will decrease! right! right?
i got busted at home yesterday by my mom who called mid-day and heard the kids in the background. it is so hard to keep this from her, but i'm just not ready to tell. i have been able to tell everyone else and feel good about it, but you just don't know my mom...she lives in cali and i'm in ohio so it's easy to conceal it at this point, but she is planning a visit possibly in May and i think i'm going to hold off till then...
Sigh.....
Starting over again. I'm so sick of thinking and saying those words. I want to be good. I want to be pretty and feel worthwhile. But it's so damn easy to cheat and eat nothing but crap. I think I'm a little over-filled now. I'm supposed to go back to the doc on Friday. But I don't want him to take any fluid out. I just want to lose enough weight that my band fits right. I was eating chocolate covered peanuts this morning, perusing facebook and of course, got stuck. Why? Because my dumbass shouldn't be eating solids at 6:30 in the morning!?!? Why do I do this to myself? So I threw the rest of them out, disgusted and frustrated with myself.
So I came back to this site-I hadn't logged on in months. I'm looking for some support because I've obviously been lacking something. So hopefully this will help. So I guess we'll see. I'm going to try and keep up with the myfitnesspal and this too and maybe, just maybe, something will click.
We shall see.
It's frustrating.
Nearly 2 years have passed and I've lost only 30 pounds. Now I'll admit that I haven't been vigilant about getting fills. I only have about 5 cc's in my 10 cc band. But there's a reason I don't get more. It sucks. I have no idea at any time how my band will react.
One thing is consistent -- it is always the tightest in the morning. I've actually felt a bit uncomfortable when drinking a V8 quickly in the morning. Other times, it seems like it is almost not there.
I don't understand it. My expectation was that I would be able to eat small meals and get the sensation of fullness. That has never happened. I don't know why but I think that it is possible that my doctor put the band too high so that I don't have a pouch to fill. If I eat something that doesn't want to go down it hurts. Sometimes not a little -- a lot. I have to wait. I eat my meals in 2 to 3 times the speed of my family members. If I stop eating early I do not have that sense of fullness and I never have.
I fear that if I have more put into my band that I will simply experience pain on a more frequent basis without the benefit of feeling full or satiated.
There is no way to tell when my band will choose to act up. Sometimes I can eat a teaspoon full of food and it will make me feel like I almost cannot catch my breath. Other times I can eat as much as I want.
I have resorted back to traditional dieting (Atkins, low cal) with about as much success as I had before the band -- that is to say little to no success.
This all leave me wondering if there are other people who have not felt the benefit of fullness that they were anticipating.
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
Was sind last resting-place besten Gewinnchancen in einem Casino? "Einarmige Banditen"
Einarmige Banditen
Casinos werden in erster Linie mit Roulette und Poker in Verbindung gebracht, aber Statistiken zeigen, dass 61 % der Besucher von Spielhallen ihre Zeit damit verbringen, einarmige Banditen zu spielen (Daten von 2013 von der American Gaming Association). Perish Regeln der Spielautomaten sind sehr einfach, und der niedrige Mindesteinsatz macht sie auch fur decease armsten Spieler zuganglich.