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Bullwinkle's Journal
 

Five days now...

You people are wonderful. If I ever get time, I'll respond to all of the comments I'm getting. Don't think that I'm ignoring you, please. I'll find some time to respond today while I'm on my lunch break.   Wow. Five days without a cigarette. Several quits ago, I tried the "tapering down" approach, and it was disastrous. I didn't know why then, but I know why now. I would go for hours without a cigarette, looking forward to having one at my predetermined time, holding out until then, and feeling the sweet relief once I finally got to light up again. Well, that didn't work for me because, logically, I was simply putting myself through a constant "quit and re-start" phase over and over again. I would quit for five hours, my body would start to rid itself of the nicotine, and then I would simply reintroduce the drug again. I would deny myself the nicotine for six hours, light up, get that nicotine in me again, and start the withdrawal process over again.   I was in agony for a solid week before I realized that, logically, that simply wasn't the best way to quit. It makes me wonder, however, what's gonna happen when I go from using this 21mg patch to the 14mg patch. Will I be in withdrawal? Hmm. I guess I'll hafta wait and see.   Well, it's nearly time to get ready for work. I can't wait to go back, really. I've had four days at home and I'm going batty trying to find things to keep me occupied.   *sigh* Big breath. It helps most times to feel that clean air bouncing around my lungs. It feels good to be able to take a big breath without coughing and wheezing afterwards. But I'm still wanting to smoke in the mornings -- especially the mornings. I can't wait until I don't feel a void anymore -- a void I can't seem to fill just now.   I was going to type here how many hours it's been since I had a cigarette, but it's getting too difficult to calculate in my tiny brain. It's now easier to say how many days it's been. So, it's been 5 days and 12 hours since I've had a cigarette. I'm breaking my arm here patting myself on the back.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
Teresita's Journal
 

Uh Uh Uh

I feel like ick because I have been eating since thanksgiving. My DD came home and some stress came back also. I have been eating Stuffing, Mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and ham all weekend. It got on my nerves. I finally made a salad last night and ate just a little bit because I was already full from eating the other crap. That was just stress eating the salad. I am tired of eating.   Today I am drinking nothing but water. I figure since I don't want to eat I will fast so I can go get some blood work done around 11.   I have fallen off and can't seem to get back on the exercise wagon. I have got to do something. I don't even want to weigh in tomorrow. Help Me! Saturday and Sunday I tried calling a few people to talk about the food but I couldn't reach anyone. Oh boy. With allall the food except the Turkey is gone I can get back to focusing on better eating habits.   Boy if I could say everything I want to say. :tired   Pick me up 459-373 at my lowest but 377 last week.:paranoid Oh goodness I don't want to get on the scale tomorrow.
Teresita

Teresita

4
losingjusme ....
 

it's been a pretty good weekend ... L O N G

i worked out quite a bit during my 'vacation' from work. in fact i worked out twice Monday and Tuesday once Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and today. yup, the only day i missed was Thanksgiving and the gym was closed.   i weighed myself on Friday and i was in the 350s ... talk about a jaw dropper!!! it was just so surreal. the bottom part of the scale goes in 20 lb increments ... i used to be in the 360s and i slid it over there and it was like, nope - - lower !!! so i slipped it to 340 and then the top alllllll the way over to the end ... and i ATE on Thanksgiving ... i ate and ate and ate ... ok ... not as much as i would have pre-band, but i ate more than i really should have. but you know, i worked my ass off at the gym and do not feel too bad about it.. now if i would have gained that would have been a different story..   i am at 19.99% towards goal ... so close to 20% but not there ... 11.02% of me is gone ... gone for good. :biggrin1:   this week i am going to work out Monday on the treadmill, Tuesday is a step class, Wednesday is my session with Kari, Thursday i am flying home for a luncheon on Friday. there is a gym about 15 minutes from my parent's house so i plan on working out on Friday as well.   going home should be interesting. my dad and step mom have no idea i have lost this weight ... i am hoping to work my buns off. i am 5 5/8 pounds away from losing 50 pounds. who'da thunk it??   i did go to the Avenue to get something to wear for the luncheon on Friday... the 30/32 skirt was a tad snug so i didnt get it, i did buy a wonderful blouse that looks really great i also ordered a dress and hopefully it will arrive in enough time for Friday..   ok, this is long enough, i hope everyone had a great weekend and so much success to everyone!!!
losingjusme

losingjusme

2
DouglasP13's Journal
 

Diet.....day 2

Well, day 2 has come and gone. Things went pretty well for me today. Tonight at church they had baked spaghetti, so I had a very very small portion of it. Of course, that meant that I couldn't have my dinner like I planned since there was too much sodium in that very small portion. Oh well, I had a couple grapes, and I'm feeling great. Oh well, I'll c ya lata.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

3
heatherblossom's Journal
 

frustrated

Im supposed to have a meeting up at AMC to figure out if Im gonna do this. In the mean time, I thought it would be cool to try and drop a couple pounds. What the HELL was I thinking before Thanksgiving?? If anything, I have been eating more than usual. Its so... counterproductive- I find myself eating more cos Im thinking about getting the band done. WTF? Am I subcounciously trying to fail- again?? Will they let me have the surgery if I cant get weight off pre-surg?
heatherblossom

heatherblossom

3
dancing's Journal
 

First Fill

Well i received my first fill 11/13/06 5cc. I feel great!. I have been working out everyday faithfully, my current weight is 254. I need to work on taking my vitamins but I have my diet down were I need, I exercise regularly now , my water intake is 60 oz, i just need to get those vitamins in. Very excited about my progress. The band is awesome!!!!
dancing

dancing

2
Mosytif's Journal
 

Introduction

Hi i'm Mosytif, 29 yrs old. I weigh 324lbs (5'9') and I am hoping to have Lapband surgery soon. I have Cigna Epo and currently undergoing 6 mos of a doctor supervised weight loss plan and i'm on my second month. Four more months to go. I have been yo-yo'ing loose a couple gain a couple within these last couple of months.   I have the worse sweet tooth. Chocolate owns me. This is the reason why im overweight. Depression is starting to set in because i just hate feeling this uncomfortable and fat. Maybe eventually soon I will get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have gained 90lbs within the last 2 yrs. Everyone else sees me so happy on the outside. But on the inside i feel like im dying, literally. Im tired all the time especially after I eat. My doctor did a whole work up and the good news is i have no co-morbidies. So why do i feel so terrible. I even had two stress test and the conclusion was i'm fat and my endurance is low but otherwise healthy and have no health problems. wow. I just knew I had diabetes but I was wrong.   I had my thyroid checked. To be honest i was hoping there would be something wrong with my thyroid because that would be my fat excuse but wrong again. Nothing is wrong with me except i lack the will power to stick with an excersise regimen and diet plan. I prayed for will power. I'm still waiting on GOD to open the envelope.   Well this is me in a nutshell! P.H.A.T. Pretty heavy and thick!   One Love, Mosytif :kiss2: 328/324/175....still pre-op
Mosytif

Mosytif

1
kutia's Journal
 

Progress Pic!!

Well, my ticker has slid back to the left some. I'm not real stressed about it though. It was a combination of Thanksgiving and sloth-ness. Those two things won't coincide again for at least a year. I went to the gym once last week, which isn't great I know. However, it is an improvement over not going at all. I'm making it a goal to go twice this week and work my way back to being a faithful gym-goer. I spent the morning playing around with a virtual model and photoshop. I'm including a picture of my "virtual progress" in this entry. Its probably going to be too big. I'm not sure how to deal with that. If you want to play with a virtual model, go to http://www.mvm.com/en/go_shopping.htm Its fun, I promise.    
kutia

kutia

1
KariK's Journal
 

NS

Last Monday my husband and I had the consult with the neurosurgeon. It went as I was expecting. They want to surgically drain the tumor, hoping that it wont refill with fluid. I wasn't that impressed by the doctor however. I mean he seemed nice but his nurse seemed to butt in and over talk him somewhat and that just really irked me. I just think as a 'brain surgeon' he would be a bit more confindent and exude a control/command persona. He seemed more like a meek mild type of a person. Anyways I emailed a neurosurgeon on the east coast on Friday and he actually emailed me back that very night. Im going to send the MRI's to him and get a second oppinion. I need to get a date and plane tickets purchased. I know expense wise its going to cost me thousands more but I would sell the everything down to the house we live in and the clothes on my back if it will give us better odds on having a successful outcome. I hate that my husband has this freaking tumor!!! Grrr. I try to think on the positive side, like it has helped me to appreciate all that I have with him, and it has brought us closer together in a way that probably wouldn't have been possible without experiencing the fear of 'death do us part'. If we didnt have children I honestly would not want to continue living if soemthing were to happen to him. We just feel like an extension of each other. He's like the other half of me, he's as much a part of me as my own body, as my own mind, as my own sight. He will be ok, I will do everything in my power to make sure of it.
KariK

KariK

1
Cha Cha's Journey
 

Christmas Decorating

Today, my daughter and her hubby are coming over to help decorate for Christmas. We do it up pretty good around here. 10ft tree, lots of lights outside. I love the final product, but the work is really hard, and since my DH had shoulder surgery only 5 weeks ago, he can't really help much - but he sure does TRY!!   15 days smoke-free! Hooray!!! DH brought be a card last night in celebration of 2 weeks smoke-free. He's such a sweetie!!
angelburch

angelburch

1
Bullwinkle's Journal
 

Just suck it up and go on...

I watched a documentary last night on The History Channel about the history of tobacco and its uses. It wasn’t a biased program – anti-smoking Nazi’s, et al – rather, it was truly about the history of tobacco – from the growing of it originally in the Americas by Native Americans for various needs, to the distribution of it across the world, thanks to the Europeans who had the means to ship it back to the mother country and beyond – for personal use as well as financial gain. The hour-long show detailed all kinds of tobacco use – cigars, cigarettes, pipe tobacco, snuff, moist tobacco, and chewing tobacco.   As I sat there and watched, I waited for the anti-smoking rhetoric to being. But it never did. Instead, facts were laid out very matter-of-factly. I debated at first whether to even watch the show, given my state of mind. Yesterday was a bad day for me, as far as nicotine cravings go. It was my fourth day smoke-free, and it was the worst day thus far. The documentary showed frequent images of people smoking cigarettes. I wondered how that would affect me. Would I crave one all the more? I nearly changed the station, but changed my mind. I continued to watch.   And I’m so glad that I did.   Today’s blend of cigarette is not comprised solely of tobacco. It’s only half tobacco – and that half is laced with enticing food flavorings such as chocolate and sugar, to mellow the original tobacco into a pleasing form. The other fifty percent of a cigarette is made up of “recon” – tobacco product remnants swept from the tobacco factory floors, mingled with cigarettes sent back to the factory because their shelf life has expired.   And then there’s the chemicals.   Aside from the few I knew of – tar, ammonia, acetone, and carbon monoxide – I was surprised to find the myriad more: arsenic (rat poison), styrene (think of the things that Big Macs used to be packaged in – those Styrofoam containers), lead, methanol (rocket fuel!), and the one that REALLY gave me the willies -- hydrogen cyanide. That’s the poison they use to kill the bad guys in the gas chambers, folks.   Holy crap! I’m a real hypocrite, yanno? I mean, for the past several years I’ve taken great pains to record what I eat – down to the most miniscule ingredient – recording those findings into FitDay, counting calories and carbohydrates, making sure that I don’t ingest sugar, and thinking very well of myself for doing all of that.   Yet, I ingested arsenic and cyanide on an hourly basis for years. What the Hell was I thinking? How could I think that that was an okay thing to do?   Well, I didn’t think it was okay. In fact, I knew that it wasn’t okay. What had me hooked was the nicotine. In fact, the documentary last night reinforced what my doctor had been telling me since last year. Smoking brings pleasure because it affects the pleasure centers of the brain. What he DIDN’T tell me – and what I found out last night – was that the more I smoked, the more nicotine/pleasure receptors developed in my brain, waiting to be fed, so the more I smoked, the more of those thingies popped up, waiting to be fed, the more I smoked…….   You get the drift. It’s a vicious cycle. Much like overeating. The more you eat, the more you are ABLE to eat, because the more fat cells your body produce, waiting to be filled, the more you eat, yadda, yadda, yadda.   So, I’m a double threat. I’ve been fat since I was a little child, so I have all of these fat cells waiting to be filled. They’ve been filled and then unfilled through weight loss more times than I’m willing to admit. And now that I’ve smoked all of these years, I have all of these nicotine receptors waiting to be filled in my brain.   Holy Jesus weepin’ on the cross. What a fool I’ve been all of these years. I’m gonna quit whining and complaining that I’m craving a cigarette and just suck it up. I did this to myself, so I can just undo it. These cravings will stop eventually – possibly days – possibly months or even years – but, so the Hell what? I can’t go back to mistreating my body. I only have one, and I don’t get another shot at this.   I’ll think about that today when the cravings hit.
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

3
LittleBird's Journal
 

Yessss!

Ok. so everyone around me is giving me that "I'm so sorry" bit, but truthfully I'm fine with the fact that breads are giving me grief! I can't eat much these days and I've experienced my first PBs. In spite of that - this is what I've signed up for! Not being able to eat much plus the stuff that is really bad for weight loss - HELLO - I can't eat it!! Whoohooo is what I say! I'm so thankful I got my first fill. I wanted to be sure I got that fill BEFORE the holidays and I did!
LittleBird

LittleBird

2
DouglasP13's Journal
 

Diet.....Day 1

Well, my liver shrinkage diet has begun. I started this morning, and I have kept to it wonderfully. Less than 1000 mg sodium today. This makes me happy. My weight loss has begun.
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

2
sheilamj1fan's Journal
 

Waiting game

Hello everyone,   I am sitting here reading about all the upcoming surgery dates and hoping I will here something this week. I checked my UHC claims online, but I only see where they have processed my visit with UT Medical. I am ready to get rolling...hopefully I will get banded sometime in December.   Sheila Be BLESSED!
sheilamj1fan

sheilamj1fan

3
Bosteph's Battle of the Bulge
 

Not a Good Sick Person...

I HATE being SICK!!! :sick   I have a good old fashioned cold. Runny nose, sore throat, coughing, sneezing and severe WHINING. I am not a good sick person.   I really should be doing some Christmas decorating but alas, I am laying in bed being pitiful.   DH brought me food. He loves me and I have been very mean today. :ogre   I will work hard to be really nice tomorrow.
bosteph

bosteph

3
luvlif's Journal
 

11/25

"you are my lady,you're everything I need, you're all I'm looking for" that song is haunting me
luvlif

luvlif

1
Bullwinkle's Journal
 

Cravings from outta nowhere....

It's now been 84.5 hours since having a cigarette. Yesterday and last night were surprisingly easy. I found that I didn't think about smoking very much at all. The dreaded 72-hour "sink or swim" mark came and went, and I didn't even make note of it. It was very smooth sailing.   This morning is a different tune altogether.   I woke up early this morning and lay in bed, wanting to get up because my back was killing me, but not wanting to get up because one of my first thoughts was of smoking a cigarette. Knowing I couldn't have one -- because there aren't any in the house -- I grudgingly tripped to the bathroom and ripped the used patch from my left arm, and turned on the tap, praying that the hot water would hurry upstairs from its basement home in the water heater. With hot water, soap, and washcloth readied, I washed and dried my right upper arm and, finding a spot that hadn’t been occupied before, palmed a patch there. Damn. I’m outta cloth tape. I use cloth tape to ensure the patch stays put in its 24-hour dock, and I’m out. *sigh* I hafta go to the store today anyway. I’ll make a note to pick some up.   Dressed, face washed, and arm all patched, I padded down the stairs to the kitchen, filled my 16-ounce Styrofoam cup with water, placed it directly into the middle of the glass microwave turntable, and set the time for 1 minute, 45 seconds. It was at that moment that I turned to let the dog out for her morning pee and the urge -- craving -- hit me. I wanted a cigarette and wanted one NOW!   What the HELL???? I’m past the magic 72-hour mark! The cravings are supposed to be gone, or at least manageable! Not fair! My body isn’t following the rules! Waaaaaa!!!   So, here I sit, journaling about this, taking deep breaths, drinking my coffee, wanting to kick the cat (if we had one), and nearly experiencing weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth.   All because of wanting a stupid, stinky cigarette.   Get a grip, girl. If I can't make it two weeks without a cigarette, what makes me think I'm gonna make it two weeks on the Medifast Diet my surgeon wants me to be on before surgery?
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

3
Sunshine2's (Tonya's) Journal
 

Starting LC today

Even though my surgery won't be until probably January, I'm not waiting around to get on a good eating program. I am hoping to lose another 20 pounds by the time the surgery rolls around.   Today's menu:   Brunch (got up at 4:30 am to get a deal at a store, then came back and went to bed and didn't get back up until 11:00 am) 2 slices of roast beef, left over from dinner last night unsweetened tea   Dinner grilled bell pepper & onions roast beef   No exercise today - but planning on getting back to the gym on Monday, or sooner   Wt this morning 235.2
tonya66

tonya66

2
DouglasP13's Journal
 

Happy Day after Thanxgiving!

Well, I had a good day. I did some shopping. Didn't buy much, just got out in the traffic like all the other crazy folks. I went to the shooting range and let off some steam, and then I went to a friend's house to eat dinner and have fun. I got to do my magic show for them, and then we did some music. Lots of fun. I'm pretty sure I stumped most of them on some of my magic tricks. Plus, the best part of the whole evening was that I found out Leighhoffmans's favorite song. So when she messages here, you need to message her with the lyrics to the song. It's called 'Fr. Abraham.' Here are the words: Fr. Abraham had many sons, many sons had Fr. Abraham. I am one of them, and so are you, so let's just praise the Lord: with the right arm, with the left arm....and so forth. She will just love you all so much if you mention that to her. I know, we should start a thread just for her. That's what I think I'll do! *evil laugh*
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

4
losingjusme ....
 

very VERY quick post

359.5 down 43 pounds ... :faint:   That is one of the many things i am very thankful for...   my mom is in town for turkey day - will write about my days later (my mom knows about Ophelia (my band) and she is excited)   she did notice right away when we picked her up at the airport.   ok ... night.
losingjusme

losingjusme

3
Cha Cha's Journey
 

Chili . . . .YUM!!!

Tonight I made chili for my DH and I. I used the recipe that the nutrionist gave me because it has LOTS of protein in it and actually is very simple and quick (NOTE: I am not big on home-cooking, and usually only fix things that have minimal ingredients and require very little time. But I am going to have to get over that once I have my surgery):   1lb lean ground turkey (browned and then drain and rinse meat) 2 10 oz cans Ro-Tel Tomatoes (being from Texas, we like things spicy:) 1 14.5 oz can Diced Tomatoes 1 15.5 oz can Dark Red Kidney Beans (rinsed) 1 package McCormick Chili Seasoning   I let it simmer for about an hour, and man is it good! Add a little cheese, whatever "floats your boat" for toppings.   As I learn new things, I am going to post the one's I like best in my journal so I won't lose the recipe:clap2: .   I'm almost through Day 13 of not smoking:paranoid and still doing okay. I just wish these darn cravings would go away! I am tired of thinking about a smoke (just one, I promise). But I haven't fed the beast yet. Hopefully it will starve, shrivel up and die soon.
angelburch

angelburch

2
My Journey
 

Hyper! And Happiness!

Hello All! I am feeling quite odd right now. For the past few days I have felt in a hazey hazey daze, which makes me feel like I am walking in a fog, and also like my vision is blurry. This is really irritating to me! Luckily it hasnt kept me down in spirits or otherwise! Today my mom and I went Black Friday shopping for a few hours and I was able to hold up for that long, I was happy and proud. I even got to go to Starbucks with her and they made me a special drink (well I suppose not special for me, but to me!) that was low in sugar, cals, carbs and fat. I was so excited to be able to actually "eat" something out, I havent in weeks!!! So even though I am in this hindering fog, I am now hyped up on caffeine (which I normally dont have) it is a very odd combo. I have officially lost 20lbs and I feel very proud of that. I dont think the weightloss is too obvious, but you can tell it a bit in my face and upper stomach. Well, I also measured myself today and I have lost three inches around my waist and 1/2 an inch around my upper arm, yay!!! Its working, I am finally not failing....not that I really can that much, but it is still so amazing to see! I am planning on going back to work on Monday. I have to admit that I am rather nervous about this. I am a teacher so my job is pretty active with bending over, sitting, standing, walking, reaching, even lifting...I hope that all goes well with this and if for some reason I am starting to feel pretty terrible I live an hour away from my work....I am determined to go in on Monday but if it does not go successfully Ill have no regrets about taking off Tuesday just to rest a bit. Well now after X-mas shopping with my mom (it is a tradition for her and I to go shopping on Black Friday and I am SOO happy that I didnt have to miss it this year) I am totally in the holiday mood! My BF and I are going to go look for our first Christmas tree together!!! Take Care!!!
Veggestyle

Veggestyle

2

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