Feeling like a failure...

[MsButterKup23 1]

I was banded on August 9th. I did okay for about 3 weeks and then started eating anything I could get my hands on. I gained back like 5 pounds. I had my first fill about 3 weeks ago, I am scheduled to have another on Wednesday. I feel no restriction which I know is normal after the first fill. I have lost about 25 pounds since being banded. I started my externship at a doctor's office. The drug reps feed us everyday, when you bring a tv dinner for lunch and have a mountain of food on the table it's hard to walk away.

I am so scared that I will be the one this doesn't work for. I've even started drinking sodas again, (I only drink diet as the real stuff is way too sweet). My doctor forbids carbonation. I usually stop eating when I can't handle another bite. At least once every couple days I end up spitting up the extra food in the toilet. What the hell is wrong with me??

I want to join Curves, but don't know if I will have the time to go. I am looking for a full time job and will probably start night classes in January.

[the best me 6]

Chin up, you will win the battle with the help of your little band friend.

I know, for me, I needed time to adjust to life with my band. I lost 15 pounds in 12 days post-op and didn't lose another pound until about a week before my first fill...3 months after sugery! Give it a minute!

The only thing I would admonish you for is eating that extra bite that comes back up. Nope. Can't be doing that. Try to make bandster food choices, following the rules of hard protiens first. If needed, put off your next fill until you know you are ready not to push your band past it's limits. Your band will wait for you. Get your mind around it a little until your fierceness about food settles down a bit. I'm relating big time. It does get better, though.

[MeganA 35]

What Kathy (she's so wise!) said...and I have to add- stop drinking soda. NOW. Make it a goal today not to drink any. Make the same goal tomorrow and the next day and the next day and pretty soon you won't even think about it. Once you get to a level of good restriction you can seriously hurt yourself. I drank a diet pepsi once and was miserable for three hours with gas pains. NOT WORTH IT!

For a treat about once a month I open a diet rootbeer and let it go flat in the fridge. That is my one soda splurge. Rootbeer still tastes creamy and yummy without the carbonation.

To me, you look like a big success so far! Now you just fine tune things and you're on your way.

Megan

[Poodles 0]

Sounds like you have a stressful life. Don't think anything is wrong with you, you just may be used to self medicating with food. Sugar is a drug you know.

Do you eat anything with sugar in it? If you do stop now. The first three days are the hardest, and the best time to stop is the first day of your period. You crave sugar before, but once you start the cravings seem to die down.

I am a sugar addict. I can not even have one bite or it will trigger me off for days. So I try not to have one cheeto, one bite of bread, one bite of cheesecake. Nothing except for splenda sweetened things.

Do you have any Richard Simmons blast off tapes? They are 20 minutes and you are done. They are fun if you like Richard Simmons! If you want eye candy Tony Little tapes are fun too, but I find him annoying so I turn the sound down. Funny how I like Richard better...

I too love free food. Seems like if it is free it should be calorie free too, but that is untrue. Drug Reps, Employers, Co-Workers all love to bring high carb "comfort" foods for one reason or another. I hate Christmas with homemade fudge, candies, and cakes. I always bring sugar free pumpkin cheesecake, and they love that just as much. It amazes me how the diabetic people will attack a free stack of Cookies when they know it is literally killing them. It is hard for everyone to stay away from goodies, but you need to think about being good to yourself.

I have avoided the get togethers at my work for the past three years. I can't handle the three tables of Desserts. But when I am forced to go, I turn my back to the tables, eat my meat/veggies and then get out of there asap. I take the same approach at Golden Corral.

Carbs are Evil. Free carbs are even worse, but it can be done. Stay strong!

[Terrilen 0]

You can do this..just listen to that voice inside...it is never wrong! Curves is only 30 minutes......30 minutes a day for your health, you owe at least that much time to yourself. I go to Curves and its alot of fun ..the time flies! Keep your head up lady!

[Kiera 2]

LOL girl, you just tell those drug pushers you aren't taking what they are giving! You can do without those kinds of "junk" right? :-) You have to fight back when it comes to these temptations!

It sounds like you may have a case of "all or nothing" thinking going on. Just because you screw up and eat one wrong thing does NOT mean that you need to just give in and toss your whole diet plan out the window! REGARDLESS of your restriction level the band cannot decide what you put in your mouth. They banded your stomach, NOT your head. So get your head back on straight, get your fill, and FOCUS on making good choices for yourself. Start NOW!

Start tracking everything you eat, even the bad stuff on fitday.com and see how you are doing. Use that to start giving yourself some daily accountability. Track everything that goes in to your mouth, no matter what it is. You will do better right then and there.

Buy a pedometer and start wearing it. Try to increase your steps. Even if you cannot get to the gym, you CAN walk more. Park further away, or just plain walk whenever you can.

ONLY keep "good" foods in the house. I found that banning junk in my house made a huge difference. If hubby wants junk he eats it away from home 99% of the time. Ok, so 1% of the time he brings it home and shares - but only when he thinks I "deserve" a treat (gotta love this man of mine, lol). :-)

Allow yourself an occasional treat - but PLAN for it so that you can do it inside your diet plan and you don't mess up you weight loss.

Figure out what triggers your "bad" eating habits and find ways to get around them.

Start with these things and see where it gets you. You *DO* know what to do, and your band can help you but you have to do the heavy lifting. Good luck.

[Parvathi 2]

Everyone elses advice was so great, that I don't have much to add lol. But regarding not having time for the gym, I said that myself for ages. You've just got to learn to *make* time. I find that if I leave it til the end of the day, I'll find an excuse not to work out. So instead, I get up an hour earlier and go to the gym before work. Even 30 minutes of workout is better than none. It takes a while to make a habit of it, but pretty soon, you'll be feeling guilty when you don't go.

You're doing great so far! Chin up and back on the wagon

[chichigirl 1]

I second everyone else's grand words of advice. I recognize their words of wisdom that comes from experience. food addiction, and that's truly what it is, takes time, and we are all impatient and consistently beat up on ourselves for not moving fast enough. The way I look at it is, as long as I am loosing, no matter how slowly, at least I am heading in the right direction. If I had done this how many years ago, I would be slim and trim and healthy by now. Instead I continued my bad habits and grew and grew and grew. That's a problem, loosing slowly is not.

I know that we have all heard the same things over and over again, like you didn't put it on overnight, it won't come off overnight, blah, blah, blah. But these things are true, we have just chosen to ignore them. Creating a new lifestyle for ourselves is the single most important thing we will ever do for us. Know that it's going to take time, but hey, you're not going anywhere so what's the difference, as long as you are trying, that's all that's important. Take it a step at a time and in a few months, you will look back and realize, hey, I really can do this, I am loosing weight. Never, ever belittle your accomplishments - like loosing 25 lbs in two months. Do you realize what a wonderful accomplishment that is!!!!! In spite of your human imperfections you still lost 25 lbs!!!!!! I think that's terrific and you should do. Pat yourself on the back, give yourself a self-indulgent reward, a new dvd, cd, spa products, whatever you want, as long as it's something that makes you feel good. You deserve it. Make your changes one at a time, like when the reps bring in the food for lunch, and you simply can't resist, eat what you want with the exception of one thing. Tell yourself as long as you can resist one of the desired items, you are still in charge, because you are. Before you know it, you'll no longer think of food as a friend and you'll be able to walk away from it and enjoy your healthy selection that you have chosen for yourself.

Good luck. Remember there is an army of support right here waiting for you whenever you want. And congrats on loosing the 25 lbs. Celebrate IT!!!!!!!!!

Cindy

[NJChick 3]

One thing I try to tell myself is food will always be here on earth, I will not.

Tell your self you'll have it some other time as treat.

Is there any way you could eat b/4 going to these massive food orgies? Maybe with a full belly things won't look so tempting.

I know its hard b/c I work for a pharmaceutical company and you talk about food every where. Every stinkin meeting there is donuts and Cookies....WTF??? This year after I'm banded, I'm going to refuse to go to any "gatherings" this year. If my boss gets pissed, oh well, than thats going to be his problem.

Good luck !!!!

[Chunk 0]

Carrie,

Sorry to hear that you are having difficulties. If I can implore you to make one change it is to stop throwing up. As others have pointed out, we all sometimes eat too much or too fast. Personally, I can't stand vomiting. Even a PB is too much for my spirit to handle, so I tend to be pretty careful. My point is, when you vomit, you subject your band to the kind of pressure that causes slippage. You have done a lot to get this far, don't ruin it by vomiting.

Regarding temptation, what can I say. I am a college student, and the alcohol is my little mistress. I have an idea that you may really enjoy. There is no sense in flirting with temptation if you allready have something you desire more. My suggestion is that you learn to love your food. That's right, love it damn it. Why eat all that mediocre S&@# when you can have a delicious meal. Do it up! Make others jealous. Microwave dinners leave much to be desired, so why eat them? Find some healthy meals that you enjoy, that "hit the spot," and kiss that other crap goodbye.

Remember, food is like sex. You enjoy it more when you have a good partner.

[RayLandry 18]

Hi Carrie,

Hey there, we were banded on the same day, probably at the very same time! You know...I have had some set backs also! I have over eaten and sabotaged my band also. But you have to get back on the wagon and try to do better the next day....the next meal. We are not perfect by no means! One day at a time! Okay.....you didn't do so well today.....you do better tomorrow! Allow 30 min a day for some exercise. Even if it's broken up in increments of 10 mins. With your next fill, you will more than likely feel more restricted. You have only been banded under 2 months now, remember that lifetime habits don't change ovenight! Good luck my banded sister!

[jqpublic 1]

YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE HARDEST PART BY GOING THROUGH THE SURGERY! NOW TAKE SOME TIME AND THINK ABOUT IT ALL!.... YOU CAN DO THIS I PROMISH!......

when the reps come in with food just say no thanks and then go and get a drink of some Water it sounds funny but your stomach will feel full you now have tricked your mind! as weight loss it alot of mind game.

you no what you have to do. it up to you! please dont take that the wrong way! it all takes time. and if you have to eat eat health take some fruit to work!

the only thing I can tell is walking really helps. good luck there are better days ahead like tomorrow have a nice day at work! good bless

[Teresita 0]

WOW Carrie all of this good advice is helping me. We can do this. We are all in the same big boat. I had a co worker who started bringing big beautiful salads for lunch and I would bring dinner. We combined the effort and we would end up with little zip lock bags of everything to make the worlds best salad everyday. Lettuce, onions, mushrooms, corn, chick peas, tuna, cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers,boiled eggs etc. You get the picture. Putting the salad together was part of the joy and not just eating it. Is there anything in the mountin you can incorporate into your lunch? If not leave it alone. As far as microwave dinners, there are some that have a good calorie count but watch your sodium for the rest of the day.

I made some chili for this week and quick easy meal to prepare, transport and band friendly. Brown meat, add onions, 2 jars of spaghetti sauce, 1 big can of kidney Beans and done.

[ReneBean 3]

You aren't a failure, Carrie.

You are just a human being. I say, all of the great advice above PLUS

Tell the reps what to bring. They are sales reps. It is their job to suck up to YOU. Tell them what you want and I would hazard a guess that they will take the trouble to bring foods you can eat.

If they are bringing sandwiches - tell them to bring KFC. A little chicken breast would be far superior to Pasta salad or whatever else they are bringing. Tell them you are bored with donuts and you want omelettes instead... You can't be the ONLY one in your office who is trying to lose weight - there are unbanded folks out there that would be grateful for getting a healthier snack.< /p>

You can live a normal life while banded. That is the whole point of having a band. It restricts the amount of food and the speed at which you can eat.

WHAT you choose to eat is strictly on you. You can do it. You can make better choices. Great Job on the 25 lbs. YOU CAN DO IT.

We'll all be here to kick your butt, or hug you, as needed.

:]