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Met with surgeon, now I'm upset/confused



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I just want to thank you all for your advice. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the next day. I don't really think that the doctor had ulterior motives, I have no reason to suspect it, but of course you never know. So far all the staff I have spoken with at the office were very nice, patient, and answered all the questions we had and the doctors there have done lots of both types of surgeries. I will ask why he recommeded the bypass for us but I believe it's because of our very high BMI - mine is 58 and my husband's is I think something like 45. I respect his opinion as a doctor and I didn't want him to "tell me what I wanted to hear", I just wasn't expecting what he said - I thought one surgery was just about as good as the next and it didn't make a difference weight-loss wise. So needless to say his recommendation really caught me off guard and made me question my decision. He did say that it was my body and my decision and he would give me which ever option I decided on.

So I slept on it and I have thought about it and right now the way I'm feeling is that I just am not comfortable with the bypass, and if I don't feel a peace about it then it must not be for me. I am one to follow my gut instincts and I am rarely wrong. (Except for when my gut tells me to get the LARGE fries :) )

In the mean time I'm going to work on losing the 30 lbs he recommended and plan for having the REALIZE BAND put in.

SO... hopefully I won't regret the decision down the road and won't find myself questioning myself again! Thanks everyone for your support. You guys are great! :thumbup:

Edited by sberrys

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A high BMI doesn't mean you need bypass. And I'm not being petulant either. Personality types and medical issues play into it more than starting weight. If you love sweets and can't give 'em up, for example, the dumping syndrome effect of bypass may be better for you, even if you "only" need to lose 80 pounds.

So research is good and asking your surgeon why is good. Higher BMI is NOT a good reason though. I'm glad you both are going to ask, and think it over, and pick the right surgery for you. It isn't easy, but then so many worthwhile things AREN'T easy, are they?

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Hey if you can sing like Frank you can call me a broad (or a dame for that matter) ANY time.

Amen! Come on HH give it a try

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I just want to thank you all for your advice. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the next day. I don't really think that the doctor had ulterior motives, I have no reason to suspect it, but of course you never know. So far all the staff I have spoken with at the office were very nice, patient, and answered all the questions we had and the doctors there have done lots of both types of surgeries. I will ask why he recommeded the bypass for us but I believe it's because of our very high BMI - mine is 58 and my husband's is I think something like 45. I respect his opinion as a doctor and I didn't want him to "tell me what I wanted to hear", I just wasn't expecting what he said - I thought one surgery was just about as good as the next and it didn't make a difference weight-loss wise. So needless to say his recommendation really caught me off guard and made me question my decision. He did say that it was my body and my decision and he would give me which ever option I decided on.

So I slept on it and I have thought about it and right now the way I'm feeling is that I just am not comfortable with the bypass, and if I don't feel a peace about it then it must not be for me. I am one to follow my gut instincts and I am rarely wrong. (Except for when my gut tells me to get the LARGE fries :wub: )

In the mean time I'm going to work on losing the 30 lbs he recommended and plan for having the REALIZE BAND put in.

SO... hopefully I won't regret the decision down the road and won't find myself questioning myself again! Thanks everyone for your support. You guys are great! :thumbup:

Regardless of what you decide, be aware that there are a bunch of people here who care about you, and will be there to support you any way we can. I think it's wonderful that you are going into this together. You'll be able to support each other, and that is KEY to your success, regardless of which procedure you choose.

Your plan is good; regardless of what you end up choosing, you WILL be asked to begin losing some weight prior to surgery. So, yes, begin that NOW, and start making the changes that you'll need to make for the wonderful life that awaits you both.

:)

HH

What's WRONG with me today? I'm being too nice. I need to find an orphanage to burn or something.

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HH you and RM need to get a room!

But in my gracious opinion I don't think people who are scared or nervous about gastric bypass will every change their mind no matter what a doctor says. It was very difficult to give my daughter permission, well she was 18 but still to have her gastric bypass and she was over 350 lbs and six feet tall.

It's much harder to allow someone you love to have something that drastic but I knew that's what she really wanted and she felt would be her only way to successfully lose weight and change her life for the better. It also made it silly for me not to choose RNY after not being successful with my lap band when I was too scared to have RNY in the first place.

Good luck with your decision and whatever WLS you and your husband choose, I know it's not easy, Nancy:thumbup:

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One of the best gifts we give ourselves is to trust our internal instincts. My grandmother used to say, "If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't."

Stick with your gut! :thumbup:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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