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Yes, hon, it's because you're fat. The good news is, if you're neurotic and cry a lot, they might consider casting you for the next "More To Love" season that's coming up. However, don't even try it if you're ugly or have not cleavage. Or baggage. Baggage makes good TV, you know.

If you use the band, you MUST ignore ALL doctor's orders, eat whatever the hell you want the hour you get home from surgery, and sex can only be accomplished in the backwards missionary leg tuck plie position.

Just remember that the band is different for everyone as are sex positions. You should try different positions and find what is right for you! Of course, we really would like a video to see what does work for you - it is okay to share TMI with everyone on LBT!

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Don't eat the ice cream! KFC is much better - have you been following this thread???

Well, and donkeys. Don't forget the donkeys. Plus, they really love you after. Just make sure they poo BEFOREhand. Don't ask. :confused:

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By the way, I just got a band. Can someone tell me what PBing and sliming is? Am I supposed to drink with my meals? Cause I just had a super sized coke with my Big Mac.

If it was diet, you're good.

PBing is Projectile Bitching. It can be done anywhere but is recommended that it be directed at spouses, children, and most certainly bosses.

By the way, sliming involves a donkey. I don't think you're ready. But if you have a Great Dane or other large dog, you can practice.

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Well DUH don't you know you have to eat ice cream to lose weight??? It's a liquid you know so you can have it right after surgery. GEEZZZ

Don't forget cake batter. Good mushie.

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By the way, I just got a band. Can someone tell me what PBing and sliming is? Am I supposed to drink with my meals? Cause I just had a super sized coke with my Big Mac.

Carrie - take you pills -in regards to the 'super size' your dyslexia is coming back - it's a c - not an e and it goes before the k - think back to grade school.

Okay well, do I at least get a cut? Cuz otherwise I'ma sendin' my crazy mama and bro wit da piece in his waistband to come talk to you.

Hag - I 'll give you a cut alright - cut you up one side and down another with my 'chete - (took it off a pt) - don't you ever threaten me girl - I f'in take you down you pole suckin fat pimple squeezing, poor excuse for white trash lving donkey humper!

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What happened to TPG she must of gone off to start 50 more threads! Or she is eating ice cream, pickles and fried chicken! All while reading the classified newspaper ads for a donkey!

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I don't like ice cream.

Who the hell doesn't like ice cream?? What kind of fattie are you anyway? I think it's time for you to turn over your membership card and decoder ring, you poser.

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Uh, I'm new. I heard that the band is white. And if you eat only white food it kinda bounces off the band and you don't gain no weight or nothing. My surgeryone told me this. He said that it also meant I din't have to worry bout no more babies. Cause I'se white and my babies is white and the band is white. Right??? Please answer soon. My doc's got that look in his eye...

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Carrie~ At least make it a DIET Coke - much better for you than the regular! It cuts the number of daily calories down!

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Hag - I 'll give you a cut alright - cut you up one side and down another with my 'chete - (took it off a pt) - don't you ever threaten me girl - I f'in take you down you pole suckin fat pimple squeezing, poor excuse for white trash lving donkey humper!

Who the hell YOU talkin' to, you knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, splooge licking bottle squatter??

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What happened to TPG she must of gone off to start 50 more threads! Or she is eating ice cream, pickles and fried chicken! All while reading the classified newspaper ads for a donkey!

Oooh, I was hoping no one would catch on to that. Searching eBay too!

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Uh, I'm new. I heard that the band is white. And if you eat only white food it kinda bounces off the band and you don't gain no weight or nothing. My surgeryone told me this. He said that it also meant I din't have to worry bout no more babies. Cause I'se white and my babies is white and the band is white. Right??? Please answer soon. My doc's got that look in his eye...

Don't you know, stoopid, white makes you look FAT! Your band shoulda been black. *tsk* :confused:

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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