Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My surgeon is an ass, now I'm discouraged



Recommended Posts

Yesterday I went to meet with the surgeon for my exam and to get my surgery scheduled. I started the program in February 08 and have been waiting almost 2 years for this. The first question he asks me? "So what has taken you so long?" I explain about my mental status and how unprepared I was to make the changes necessary and about school and not being able to come for my psych classes. Then I explain all about the life changes I've made, getting off sugar completely unless it's the naturally occurring sugar in fruit, my exercise regimen which is an hour or more a day, the diet that I'm following. Then he says "Well if you were doing all those things you would be losing weight faster." Excuse me? If I could lose weight fast I don't think I would need the surgery or even want it. He's looking at me like I'm lying about it and repeatedly keeps telling me that I need to change my lifestyle. I wanted to say to him. "I don't like you. I want a different surgeon." He also tried to give me all the reasons why bypass surgery would be better for me than banding even though the first thing i said was that I would never do bypass because I feel like it's too dangerous and it scares me and I don't want it. Pretty much everything he said to me was negative. Then at the end of my appt. my mom is asking him a question about her band that she had put in, in February and his reply? "You really want to have your healthy habits be a family thing, not just have everyone in your family have surgery." What the hell? Did that comment need to be made? No it' didn't. First of all my sister is a rail, she did not inherit the fat gene, my brother did but he's not fat because he works out all the time and my dad is just a little overweight in his old age. He had no right to say something so rude. Also the only reason my mom had her surgery so much sooner than me is because she lied to the bariatric psychiatrist, and used phentermine and Medifast to lose her pre-surgery weight. Also she never goes to the gym. I on the other had was completely honest with my bariatric psychiatrist who then asked me to go to additional classes, which actually really helped me and the way I look at food, and I am working on losing weight by exercising and eating correctly. Does he even understand how difficult that is for someone with horribly slow metabolism? I work out for an hour or more a day and eat mostly fruits, vegetables and Proteins and am losing maybe one pound a week. It's very discouraging to me and I'm pretty tired. School starts August 24 and while I'm sad that my surgery won't be before then, I'm relieved to at least have it scheduled. It's frustrating because everyone else at Kaiser has been so nice to me and I feel like this guy shouldn't be a bariatric surgeon when he has an obvious distaste for fat people. I can't do anything more than what I've been doing and I'm not going to stop doing that. :wink2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about this. I would be concerned about what after care is going to be like if this guy is already being so discouraging. The aftercare is an essential part of this. Is he going to be supportive and allow you to have the adjustments you need, when you need them?

Do you have any other options for doctors?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear about this. I would be concerned about what after care is going to be like if this guy is already being so discouraging. The aftercare is an essential part of this. Is he going to be supportive and allow you to have the adjustments you need, when you need them?

Do you have any other options for doctors?

Fortunately for me this guy is just the surgeon. I have one f/u with him after surgery and then I follow up with the band fill MD. There are two other surgeons and I am thinking about calling and asking for the same surgeon that did my mom's surgery. But at the same time, I have my surgery date and don't have to deal with this guy too much, I just wish he hadn't been so rude to me. I will be filing a complaint against him with member services anyway so hopefully he'll maybe not be so mean to other patients.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I could lose weight fast I don't think I would need the surgery or even want it.

The band won't do much to cause you to lose weight; to be honest, my weight loss about the same post-op as it was pre-. It will, however, train you in Portion Control, which will help you to lose weight on your own, and to avoid gaining it back later which is where many of us have the biggest problems, and why surgery is a good option for us.

If you're diabetic, I'd suggest bypass over band.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bluestate girl,

I think you've got the right attitude about this. Surgeons are the fix-it men of the medical world. Most of them are savvy enough to know to be nice to their clientele, but others just want to get in there and get the job done. Your fill doc will be the important one ...have you met him?

Also, there are alot of surgeons who are not really interested in bariatrics but are doing it because either their hospital is pushing them to do it or they know how lucrative it can be. The motivation isn't important...but is he a good surgeon? He doesn't have to love fat people, but he does need to do his job well and treat us with respect.

Cindy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×