reluctant...

[abingdongirl 0]

Hi, I am in the pre-op stage of getting my lap-band, I must admit it was not my first choice as I wanted to have the RNY, however my insurance will only cover the band, so right now I feel like I am forced to choose a method I don't totally agree with. My husband had the RNY, and so have my sister and cousin all with great sucess, however, my view is that I am settling for next best. I have been researching the band and how people have done with it over the past week, since the insurance company informed me of the change. I know I will be okay but I am concerned about the possibility of having the band replaced in five years, or any other surgeries as a result of this decision. I hope that is not the case, as I am scheduled for surgery in two in a half weeks and I am trying to wrap my head around the liquid diet and pureed food, I don't know how one cannot feel hungry while eating so little, I plan to go to more support group meetings to get a better idea of what to expect, please share good bad or indifferent.

Thanks,

Abingdongirl:redface:

[isaviolinist 11]

I have been banded a little over a month and so far no complications. I am also very scared of band complications and needing revision surgeries, but I have an excellent surgeon and I am hoping that I won't need anything. Additionally, Ive lost almost 35 pounds which is great!

One thing to consider: if you don't feel comfortable with getting the lapband, then perhaps you shouldnt do it. I'm not sure what you don't agree with (as far as the method), but if you go into it thinking its not right for you and its not something you really are into, it will be difficult to work with the band to get the weight off. The band is not the "next best" just as RNY is not "the best" or "the worst" for that matter. Its really about which procedure is right for the individual. But if you're feeling is that you are settling, you should think really hard before undergoing surgery. Although its a relatively easy procedure, it is still a major surgery. Its not something to be taken very lightly, and you should be on-board before going through with it.

Good luck!

[willowcat 93]

I agree with isaviolinist--you shouldn't "settle" for anything as major as wls! You and your band (or RNY) will be together for the rest of your life. It's kind of like getting married--that's not something you want to just "settle" for. You want the one that is the best for you! If you just "settle" on the band, I predict that you'll have a really hard time with "bandster hell" (that time after surgery but before you reach your correct fill level--and you're still really hungry). Bandster hell is hard enough as it is, but I really wanted the band over any other wls, so I can make allowances for the band's quirks and I can be patient with the process. I predict that you'll hate every minute of having the band and that you'll always be wishing you had had the RNY instead--like letting the love of your life get away and marrying someone else (the one you "settle" for will never be as good as the one that got away).

Also, another thing to consider is the thought that will always be in the back of your mind that unlike your husband, your sister, and your cousin, you got stuck with the inferior (in your mind--and maybe in theirs too) surgery. It would make for a really good excuse to fail at the band--you know, not give it your all, because well, you only got banded instead of getting the RNY.

Reschedule your surgery. You don't have to make this decision in the next two weeks. What did the psych evaluation say about you being ready to make the necessary changes for the lapband? Did they go ahead and approve you, even though it's not the proceedure you really want?

Don't let your insurance company run your life for you. Either make an appeal to them to cover the RNY for you or go the self-pay route--sometimes something really worth having is worth saving for. Lots of people on here wanted the band, and their insurance didn't pay for it, so they paid for it themselves.

Edited July 22, 2009 by willowcat

[Headhunter 6]

Normally, I'd have a lot to say about this.

BUT, the two posters ahead of me covered everything wonderfully. I'm in complete agreement with what they have said. And they stated it very well!:thumbup:

Don't settle. for ANYTHING.

It's also a BIG PLUS that you have family that have had success with the RNY. You KNOW you'll get the support you need from them.

But....do your research, and make sure that RNY is what you NEED. If you know that without any hesitation, then FIGHT your insurance company on it.

RNY has been the Gold Standard of WLS for many years, and I'm surprised that they don't cover it. It's usually the other way around....they'll cover RNY, but not the others.

Keep us posted....we all want you to be a success!

HH

[abingdongirl 0]

Thanks for all of your responses, I think I am in that stage where I am not getting what I was prepared for over the past few months and it just sucks. That being said I am not the type of person to play the self-defeated victim, so I will give it my all and I will be sucessful with it, it is more about those things not under my control that gets me worked up.

So I am okay with getting the band with a child in college and three in high school I can't afford self-pay at this time, however, I am willing to give it my all, my husband actually wanted me to get the band anyway even though he has had the RNY, he thinks the band would be better for me, so I have the support here, but I don't have anyone close to me that has had the band other than the support group and the people I have been reading about on this site.

I am pretty much a control type A person, so it just takes me a minute to get use to a change.

I just got word from the insurance company that everything is a go, I have been approved as of yesterday I got my new instructions from the nutritionist and doctors office, and chewable Vitamins and now I am using this time to try the different protien shakes to see what I will like.

Thanks again for your input it did put things into perspective, I look forward to sharing my journey with you all.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I don't understand how refusing to settle would make you a "victim". If you don't want the band 100%, don't get it. It takes lots of work, adjustments, aftercare. There are people who wanted it desperately who HATE it when they get it, so I can only imagine how unhappy someone would be who didn't really want it but was getting it anyway.

If you want bypass, check around, find a good price, and get it. Seriously. You'll pay for the band in other ways, especially if you don't want it and feel it is 2nd best.

[abingdongirl 0]

RestlessMonkey - thanks but I think you misread my last post... I cannot afford RNY,and I am OK with the option presented to me, and although not my first choice... I will be fine... I came to register on this site for support and to gain insight into a procedure that I will be having, and that is that.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

No, I read it...I think I was the one not too clear. HOWEVER...you know yourself better than anyone on a "talk" board ever could. If you were unhappy and now aren't, then it's moot anyway!

[Unforgettable 0]

As others have said, a decision as big and potentially life-threatening as this shouldn't be one you "settle" for. I know what it feels like to just want to lose the weight and be healthy, and become impatient. I would just hate to see you be forced into a decision that you normally wouldn't make.

That being said, this board is AMAZING for support. You see the good, the bad, and the ugly - all of which you need to see! Lots of great advice can be found here.

[lindas0809 0]

Abingdongirl,

I think you were probably venting, so please don't take our concern over your reluctance as being mean, but we've been on the other side of surgery and know it takes a lot of commitment.

I was exactly opposite of you and had to fight to get my band because my surgeon wanted me have RYN. For me personally RNY was second best because I knew what I needed to be successful. I'd seen friends with RYN lose tons, but never change their relationship with food(which I'm trying to do).

Like everyone else has said the surgery you choose is very personal. I wish you luck with your journey- do as much research as possible on the band and be ready for the lifestyle change.

[abingdongirl 0]

This has been a really emotional rollercoaster over the past few weeks, and I know you all mean well. I do appreciate the support, and input...

Thanks again

[SummerAgain 0]

If I can offer a glass half full opinion....I think it may be a good thing that you're getting something different than everyone else in your family! Noone to tell you how to do it....no know-it-all opinions...no RNY police to tell you how they did it differently than you are! This is YOUR band and you will rock it because you are having a unique experience compared to the others in your family and you can do it your own way!! No judgements! Yet they CAN be supportive of the journey in general!!

[lapbandtalker 0]

Hi, I am in the pre-op stage of getting my lap-band, I must admit it was not my first choice as I wanted to have the RNY, however my insurance will only cover the band, so right now I feel like I am forced to choose a method I don't totally agree with. Thanks,

Abingdongirl:redface:

Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are not 100 percent committed, then this isn't for you.