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Anyone else indecisive?



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Hi everyone! I am in the stages of waiting for insurance approval and all the tests I need to get done before surgery. I have my sleep study on the 22nd. I guess I am wondering if there is anyone here that has or is going back and forth between having the surgery and not having the surgery. What finally made you make up your mind to have the surgery? I have been overweight for the majority of my 20's and the weight keeps going up, but I wonder if I would have better results when I move out of my parent's house finally. That will be sometime next year if everything works out. But, then I think that the band will help me long term with keeping weight off and not getting to this weight again. I just can't seem to make up my mind. A part of it is the money. My insurance only covers 90% so I have to come up with a big chunk. Any help with how you came to your decision will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

GTbadkitty

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I was indecisive for years, from 2003 until I FINALLY got my band in 2008. I had gone back and forth about it but since Ins didn't pay for it, it was easy for me to not get it. I tried EVERYTHING to lose. I even tried hypnosis, I went to a behavioral therapist for a year. I did WW about a million times. I tried nutrisystems. I tried all liquid diets. I did Richard Simmons Deal a Meal. I tried Atkins, I read about South Beach but figured it wouldn't work for me. I tried it all. I am very smart and not muc refuses to yield to me once I make up my mind but I could NOT lose weight and keep it off. I finally realized that if I kept doing what I'd been doing, I'd keep getting the same results.

For me, lap band was the answer.

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I am totally there with you! I have been doing lots of research and will be going to a seminar next week, but I keep thinking, "OK, I'll do this!" and then going back to, "maybe I should try WW again, or try something different this time and then if it doesn't work, I can always do the band." Ugh! My head is a vicious cycle right now. I just keep telling myself that if it's right, I will know when. Also, I'm self-pay and was just told we need a new air conditioner, so that may hold off my plans for surgery a little longer anyway, unfortunately.

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I'm almost 1 year post op. Not as long as some, longer than others. But I can say at this point, with all my heart, that my ONLY ONLY regret was that they didn't have this surgery when I was 30.

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Hi, I'm also waiting for my insurance approval, it should be by the end of this week. I, too, have had times when I was indecisive or decided that maybe the band was just too much trouble. I really, really tried last year to do the diet and exercise thing. I did really good but then got an abscess in my foot after stepping on a wasp and have spent the last 10 months getting healed up from that. I had lost 30 pounds while doing it. While being laid up I found those 30 pounds and then some. I have been very depressed about it. I think if I would have had the band before my foot problem I probably would not have gained the weight back as the band would have been a good tool to keep me from eating too much while I was down. I can't say that at any time in my life I have been a normal weight. During the orientation (that I went to for the second time) the surgeon said that if you have been overweight all your life then trying to diet and exercise all the time is not going to cure your weight problem. It will just keep coming back because you are predisposed to being heavy and between having too many fat cells and genes it just won't work to grit your teeth and keep trying. The band is that tool that is missing that will help you keep from overeating and hopefully not let you backslide in your weight loss. I had given up for a couple of years but after trying one more time, I just need something to help me and I'm just gonna keep bugging my insurance company until they pay for it. I really think in the long run THEY would save money as they pay for a lot of medicines and doctors visits that would be unnecessary if I could get my blood sugar and blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc. under control with my weight.

If you have medical problems its a good decision. If you can't lose the weight with any of the other tools out there, WW, etc. then you probably need more help than they can give you and that is also a good decision. My weight has held me back in so many areas of my life that I need it to get back my life and start living it. No question for me any more.

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I totally understand part of what you are feling. I'm scheduled for surgery 8/81/09, and every once in a while I'll think-what are you doing. I think my"a-ha" moment was during the surgeons intro-she showed a film and this was probably in her lat 40s-she said that she had wished she had done the band 10 years ago-that did it for me. Like a previous person said, I have been trying and trying to do this for years, and nothing consistantly changes-I didn't want to be sitting in another seminar 5 years from now thinking-I wish I had done it 5 years ago. I am ready to change my life for the better. Good luck-

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I never was indecisive. Just wish I had done it sooner. What you need to ask yourself is: Am I worth it? The answer is yes.

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OK so you have to pay 10%- I am paying $10k This is the most expensive diet tool ever- and I can't wait- I wish I would have done it a long time ago. My date is Thursday- it can't come soon enough. I think that you need to listen to your heart... and you may not have insurance that will cover this in 10 yrs and have to pay for it like me....

good luck and let us know if you decide!!

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90% is a really, really good insurance company. Mine paid 85% but I still had to come up with a $1,000 for my surgeon and around $1,500 for co-pays which was a lot for me but some people on here have had to come up with major bucks. But, most including me figure out a way to do it. I think most on here have tried all the diets in the past that didn't work, just like RM said, I did the RS deal and meal and the Atkins, Weight Watchers, South Beach and the list goes on. My defining moment was at a wedding I attended that lasted the weekend and all the "Beautiful People" were there, some from LA, etc. Anyway, that was when I said "This is it!" I was banded on 06-17-09 and could not be happier. My ticker is wrong so I have to fix it but down 20lbs. so far. Good Luck!

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Thanks for all of the replies everyone! I am still undecided, but I think I will go through all of the appointments I need to before the actualy surgery is scheduled and then make up my mind. I looked in the mirror today and decided that I am doing it. Tomorrow may be different, but I am going to keep going!

Thanks again!

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It is not a bad thing that you are rethinking your decision.

You need to make sure that this is something that you NEED to do. I have long said that the best Weight Loss Surgery is NO Weight Loss Surgery. Taking care of your weight issues in a non-surgical manner is the BEST way, plain and simple.

However, it is not always possible. For many people, surgery is the final option. I do firmly believe that WLS is being oversold these days, and many people who probably shouldn't be are making a quick decision to have it based upon what the advertisements are portraying as a "simple one hour procedure". And, MOST WLS patients will tell you that WLS is neither quick NOR easy.

So, you DO need to think twice about it. Think THREE or FOUR times about it. And if you have done your homework, made an honest personal assessment, looked at all the options, and STILL feel like this is something you need to do, then DO it. Don't look back, commit to following the protocol to the LETTER, and MAKE it work for you.

Also, make CERTAIN that you choose the RIGHT procedure for YOU. Keep in mind that there are a number of WLS options out there, and the easiest and "least invasive" one may not be what YOU need. Choosing the right one requires a fair amount of study, consulations with the Right Doctors, and a great deal of personal introspection to be able to ascertain exactly what kind of surgery would be appropriate for YOUR particular type of eating disorder.

So, don't feel bad that you are going back and forth with yourself on this issue. It's an important, life-changing decision that DEMANDS that you look at it from every angle. You NEED to ask yourself the powerful questions, and give yourself the honest answers that will allow you to move forward with confidence, regardless of what you might decide to do.

HH

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HH as usual makes a good point. I wanted the band in 2003 when someone I knew got it and lost tons of weight (she had plastic surgery in 2007) However, my insurance wouldn't cover it. And I wasn't SURE enough to pay 15K or whatever for it. And through the ensuing years I would think/rethink about it until by 2008 I was readier than ready and have never looked back. I didn't have post op blues. I didn't mourn the loss of food. I WANTED the band.

I am not saying that a person can't come to the same decision way faster than I did! LOL AND I'm not saying that a person who has post op blues was wrong to get the band. But like HH said, if you aren't sure, wait. Think it over. It is reversible but like you'd think no one would get married thinking well I'll dump him/her in a year if it doesn't work, the band is supposed to be for life. Take time; it's a big decision.

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I have just paid a lot of money so I better be sure! My insurance did not cover anything.I would of had it sooner if it did.I really don't want to be heavy and in debt.July 20 is the big day.I can't wait to be one of those people that have no complications and wish they did it sooner.I keep thinking about 2months from now and I can report back with my weight loss.

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I know how you feel. I started the process in 2006 and changed my mind. I am/was still going back and forth about a decision. I'm glad to know that I am not the only undecisive person. :)

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I was indecisive about it for a very long time. I've lost 100's of pounds over the years and each time it comes back, and more. I did Phen Fen, every diet in the book, medically supervised and not.

This year I said "this is my last time.. if I am not successful at diet and exercise and Weight Watchers this time, I'm heading for the band". I was also being followed by my primary care doctor too..

Well, I wasn't successful, again. I took a hard look at the stats which say that most diets fail, and only 1 in 20 morbidly obese people who use diet and exercise are able to keep the weight off. How could I beat those chances? I wouldn't bet that hand in Vegas! I also know that I am 45, and although I haven't yet had medical issues related to obesity, I am sure they will be coming... do I want to wait until they hit me or avoid them? Also.. its harder to lose weight as you get older. I figured, it isn't going to be easier in my future through menopause, etc. If I have failed when I was younger how was I going to succeed when I was older and hormones, etc. are against me?

I realized that, for me, the risks of having the surgery were far less than the risks of NOT having the surgery. Of course, every person has to make up their own mind for their own body, but for me I just know it is the right decision for me to make.

I think it is also important to have realistic expectations. I look again at the statistics and most people (unless there are complications, and that can happen) will keep off 50% of their excess weight. I "hope" to exceed that amount for long term but I know that I would be happy to have lost 50% of my excess weight than none at all and possibly gain more for the future.

As others said, find as much information as you can. Attend "several" seminars by different doctors. I attended 3.. I learned from each and also learned which doctor/office would be best for a "long term relationship". I am expecting to have a long term relationship with my doctor for fills/checkups/etc. and therefore I wanted to be sure I felt comfortable with him not just for the short term but for the long term as well. That can only help my attempt to lose weight.

I agree to also find the right procedure "for you". There are a lot of options out there and based upon your particular body and circumstances one might be better than the other.

Best of luck in your journey!!

Katie

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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