So I am sure this has been brought up a lot, but I am so sick of being the fat girl at the party...

I kind of thought this kid was cute, and of course he hits on my best friend..like always.

I hate it because I don't know if it's because I am fat or because I am fat and respect myself. Its like these guys expect you to always want sex from them just because you are fat. And if you don't your just someone fun and chill to talk to and nothing more. Does that happen to anyone? And for all of you successful lap banders, did you have a complete turn around regarding that kind of stuff? I know I am ranting but I am just kind of sick of being the cool one and nothing else and I don't really know where else to rant... Let me know how you guys feel about that stuff! (I got my band March 17 and have lost 20 pounds so far...woohoo!)

You know what I take satisfaction from? I can lose the weight but insensitive people are handicapped for life.

Too true! Everyone has some cross to bare, some of mine are just shown on the outside. Luckily I get this chance to change that.

Everyone has such good points! I know how it is to feel this way too and living in a college town with a huge amount of gorgeous people I have gotten into some introverted habits as well. I have a wonderful boyfriend, but I give him so much credit for not being a shallow man. He has had friends (well now not-so-much friends) that have given him a hard time for being with me. He won't say it, but I can tell it is because if my weight. At first I would let this get to me, like I felt sorry for him when we were out, but he has made me feel so much better. While I am so happy I will be getting banded soon because it will help me be so much healthier and open my world up, we are beautiful people at our weight. I just can't wait to feel more of that confidence on my own and then to have others just telling me what I am already seeing in the mirror. I am a happy person and my weight has covered some of my smile and laughter. I think that as I am making this decision to really care for myself through a drastic process and hard work the confidence and inner happiness will shine even more brightly because there will be less to fight through. Hope that makes some amount of sense.:thumbup:

I hope everything works out for you!! You will do great with the band!! Keep the confidence up girl!

i have to add my 2 cents here and say that it is alll about confidence! at close to my heaviest weight I went out and started talking to guys and was confident and would meet someone each night and my skinny and drop deap gorguess friend would ask me how i did it... At about 40 pounds lighter weight, i wasnt confident and was trying to get attention, met no one and had a series of horrible nights till i decided stuff it, im just going to be myself, and have a great night with the girls. That night, i met my current partner, who I am about to get engaged to. So hope that helps you =)

Well I've always been insecure. lol I went through really awkward years in my early teens(about 20lbs overweight, horrible acne:pizza face, braces, horrible dressing/hair) lol But when I started growing out of that I met alot of different guys and I was between 170-190, I'm sorry but I'm personally turned off by guys that find really skinny girls attractive. However then my thyroid went off and I was a shut-in for 3 years and gained 90lbs. I think it was the sleeping 15 hours a day that made me feel the most unattractive. It really has to do about personality and confidence sometimes though, I can say that I've had a LOT more attention recently now that I'm back to 167lbs.

As I've gone down in weight you start to realize how sensitive an issue being fat is. It's sad that people look down on you for it, but I am so thankful that my family and awesome b/f stood by me through weight gain and weight loss and loved me the whole time. And unfortunately a lot of people don't have that. That's why this forum is amazing, because we all know what it's like.

Sorry if that was really long-and somehow turned into a I-Love-Lapband-Talk! lol

OMG I can SO relate. I'm always the wingman. I'm always the in-girl. Like: "hey can you get me in with your friend?" I HATE IT! I am so looking forward to being the IT girl!

And I can't wait to turn down (when they come aknockin' - cause you know they will!) the same guys who won't pay me any mind now.

Such is life. You're gorgeous anyway, and any guy who wouldn't want to even get to know you, regardless of your weight, isn't even worth your time!

Hey girl you are beautiful. I totally know what your going through I even went so far as to find other fat girls to hang out with so I didn't have to compete for attention. Guys and yes us girls too are shallow. I've had guys that wanted to have "secret" relationships with me! How freaking lame can you get. Yea they wanna fool around but they don't want anyone to know. It will get better my dear you will find a guy who loves you for you and what you bring to a relationship. Hope all is well with you.

Hey girl you are beautiful. I totally know what your going through I even went so far as to find other fat girls to hang out with so I didn't have to compete for attention. Guys and yes us girls too are shallow. I've had guys that wanted to have "secret" relationships with me! How freaking lame can you get. Yea they wanna fool around but they don't want anyone to know. It will get better my dear you will find a guy who loves you for you and what you bring to a relationship. Hope all is well with you.

I've been introduced to a guys friends as his cousin - when we were out together. Talk about embarassing! Little did I know I was obviously too huge to be introduced as a girl he was hooking up with. SO LAME.

I've been introduced to a guys friends as his cousin - when we were out together. Talk about embarassing! Little did I know I was obviously too huge to be introduced as a girl he was hooking up with. SO LAME.

oh man, that's horrible. maybe he's just not into having a girlfriend of any size...and if you were some skinny chick he might have done the same? who knows...if not, eff him.

Thanks for the responses guys! And MicheleClaire I'm sorry but any guy introducing you as his cousin has issues of his own and you don't need a part of that!

Its been a few months since I first posted I think I was 220 when I did (judging from my excitement of losing 20 pounds haha) and it was in May, BUT in January now I am 159 (!!!!) just 4 pounds away from being a healthy BMI! Things are going so much better for me, and seriously now my girlfriends have to help me out because I assume when guys take my number or are talking to me more than a usual amount its to be friends like I am used to.

How are all of you doing? Lets hear these updates! and Newer lapbanders truust me it will get there, I love this thing!