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I can't decide when / if to tell others about my surgery. I have told most of my family but have told none of my co-workers. The atmosphere here is full of gossipy people and I prefer to keep my business to myself.

Do I need to tell my co-workers why I'm out for a week or why I'm losing weight?

I just can't decide if it is best to be open about the procedure or keep my personal life out of the office.

Any suggestions?

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It'd be different if you were a tight knit group but if they are gossipy then keep it to yourself. If they ask tell them you took a vacation. It's none of their business.

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I decided to tell only one of my co-workers and no one else ,i trust her to keep it to herself. I just took a PTO and said it was a vacation on APRIl 23 i got bandend and was back to work on Tue next week. There are alot of HATERS AND GOSSIPERS in my team and i have learnt that you need to keep your personal life separate from your work life. Let the haters and gossipers be your motivators and once you start loosing weight they will even talk more and hate on you . Epecially the ones who look down on you to feel better among themselvers , i cant wait until i loose my weight and i can dress and look better.

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I decided to tell only my husband and my mother. I do not regret this decision in the least.

When people ask me how I am losing the weight, I say, I am finally taking care of myself, and I am working out and going to weight watchers.

Both true. I go to weight watchers to be weighed, but don't really follow their plan, but I don't need to tell that to my group at work!

I was very thankful no one knew when I wasn't losing weight from surgery to the third fill. I would have had a lot of explaining to do as to why I wasn't shedding more weight .

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I only told my family. I did not tell anyone at work. My surgery was on Thurs 4-16. I took of Thurs, Fri and Mon. I went back to work on Tues. I felt fine. My manager asked what I did on my time off and I just said "took care of some things that I needed to get done that I have been putting off, and hung around the house." Maybe someday I will tell but for now I don't see any reason they need to know.

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Hi! I'm new here and in the process of obtaining my surgery....I've only told 4 people what I'm trying to accomplish (2 of my best friends, my husband and my mom) for pretty much the same reason you did not tell your co-workers....gossip and also unwanted advice and/or opinions. I can't be swayed, this is my decision and I'm sure this is what I need to do for myself, but unfortunately, I'm surrounded by people (including some family) who don't mind their own business and talk behind my back. So I choose to say nothing at all, and if people start to notice after my surgery, then I'll tell them....maybe;) That's just me....maybe depending on who you can and can't trust, might want to do the same :thumbup: Good Luck! Michele

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I feel better about not feeling the need to tell everyone my business. I'm not ashamed of the surgery - in fact I'm very excited, but I just don't want to be inundated with tons of questions and I don't want everyone watching and waiting for me to drop a few more pounds.

Any suggestions for what to say to the persistant people that don't know when to back off? There's an older lady at my office that even wants to know where I go when I'm on my BREAK!

Thanks for everyones input and help - I do appreciate it. I was starting to really think it was necessary to tell everyone.

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If you really feel the need to tell them a medical reason tell them you had your gall bladder removed or appendix. That will explain the soreness but wont garner a lot of questions. But really you should not have to explain, I dont want to tell coworkers because I dont want the food police watching everything I do and dont do. And I dont want the gossip that is sure to happen as people just dont have enough of their own business to mind, they have to talk about everyone else. Maybe once I clear bandster hell and start dropping I will feel different but for now just my immediate family, husband and 1 friend knows (who also has done this).

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I am telling no one at work because, like you I work in a gossip crazy office. We have several people that have had RNY and are very open about and that's fine for them(plus it's hard to hide that much loss so quickly). I told my boss I'll probably need to have my gall bladder out soon(so I'm medical leave and don't use vacation). I've slowly been losing weight the past year so I don't think it will be questioned.

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Thank you all for the great advice!! I don't want people making judgement on my decision.. Some people are mean and don't like it when others better themselves.

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I told everyone. The only thing that makes me a regret it a little bit is that some people expect me to lose weight really quickly and wonder why I am not losing like 5kgs a week.

I didn't care if anyone had anything negative to say about it. Its my body, my life and my choice. If they want to be negative about someone trying to improve their health and quality of life, then they are a sad person...

Good luck!

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Hi! This is my first post. I am starting day one of my liquid diet before surgery...so excited.

I am trying to keep in mind that eventually everyone is going to find out. Some person will spill the Beans and I don't want to look more foolish later. I am careful to not talk about it with anyone who may have an opinion because I have made my choice and am not interested. Our endeavor is SO personal, it's a fine line to walk!

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I choose to tell my husband and my son and not until 2 weeks before surgery! It had to be my decision and I knew it would be a slow weight loss and did not want anyone judging me. I did tell two friends after and since I do not work outsde the home I do not have to deal with the workplace which can be a harsh one.

3 months out I am glad I kept it low key. No regrets here.

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If you really feel the need to tell them a medical reason tell them you had your gall bladder removed or appendix. That will explain the soreness but wont garner a lot of questions. But really you should not have to explain, I dont want to tell coworkers because I dont want the food police watching everything I do and dont do. And I dont want the gossip that is sure to happen as people just dont have enough of their own business to mind, they have to talk about everyone else. Maybe once I clear bandster hell and start dropping I will feel different but for now just my immediate family, husband and 1 friend knows (who also has done this).

I told my bosses and co-workers (including the other receptionist that is covering for me) that I'm having an ovarian cyst removed (would explain lower abdomin sutchers- as per my sister & girlfriends who actually had that done) So far, it's working, we'll see next monday when I go back to work (surgery is thursday (5/7)

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i just told folks, that I was having a small procedure done and I would be out for a few days. I wanted to make sure that I could lose the 20 pounds my doctor required so I started the liquids about 4 weeks out, as it turns out it has kind of conditioned folks at work to see me with slim-fast an no really asks anymore. I will not deny it if asked, but felt no need to proactively share.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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