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Do you have a loved one w/an eating disorder? If so, how did they react to your WLS?



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My sister has a long history of eating disorders, and I haven't told her yet that I am going to be banded. She is always competitive, even when there is NO competition. Case in point -- my weight vs. hers. I have always been overweight. She's always been thin. But, sometimes when I have been able to lose weight, she tries to sabatoge my efforts because she's jealous (with no reason at all) and it has caused her eating disorders to get worse.

So, I haven't told her about my surgery yet. But I want to because I love her.

Has *anyone* out there had to deal with a situation like this? If so, how did your relative/friend react when you told them or they found out about your WLS? Were they jealous, supportive, did they try to sabatoge your diet? Did it trigger a relapse for them?

Any suggestions for how to tell her? Any advice is appreciated.

TIA! :thumbup:

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That's a toughie. Has your sister ever sought treatment for her eating disorders? I guess just be honest and say my doctor says i'm overweight and recommended I get this procedure done it's the healthy way to lose weight. Put emphasis on the fact that it's a healthy way to lose weight.

Good luck with this one!

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My best friend was not very supportive at the beginning. She thought I should just be able to eat small amounts on my own and loose the weight. She is thin and controls her weight. She is finally coming around, and acutally went with me today to get my 2nd fill. Good luck.

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wow!!!! i can totally relate to this post...my best friend is over weight and cant deal with my weight loss...she is now having bypass surgery on wednesday....she was all 4 the band till her surgeon told her it was going to take her a lot longer with the band to lose 100 pounds...she totally rushed in2 this surgery...she has no idea what she is getting herself into...i ask her ?'s about dumping and how she feels about having her intestines tampered with...her response is "i dont care...i want to lose just as fast as u did"...she is scheduled 4 this wednesday...and has not bought her Vitamins or her Protein drinks...because she is unable to afford them...i'm worried about her....but she is so gung ho about catching up to me....losing a 100 is more important to her than her health....:thumbup:

Edited by 2Flyguys

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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