A woman of contridiction...

[Sandy Beach 4]

I have lost my own personal 100 pounds 3 times in this life. It's not easy to lose, but as we all know it is sure easy to regain to pounds back. The last time I lost my own personal 100 plus pounds and almost regained the entire 100 lbs. back. I thought I am not going to play this movie again. I did extensive research (1 month) I was in a state of mind..."This has to be the last time". I came across WLS what a concept...I don't know why I never thought of that. or maybe I did. But that couldn't mean me I only weigh 200 or 250 depending on where I was in my "weight on" or "weight off" stage. What was I thinking? It all sounded so easy. I never considered Insurance. At the time I had gained 50lbs. back so I was at the 205 mark, and I did not want to have to gain all the weight again another 50 lbs. I know it gets murkey when I ramble on. I called a patient coordinator in Mexico and set my surgery date for 01/21/08. I gathered the required cash and my daughter and we flew down to Old Mexico. The rest is history. Some people on chat room have made comments that I only have 60 lbs to lose and I don't know what it's like to have to lose lots of weight. I never defend myself I just let them blather on. Oh I have made friend on chat room and LBT. Some of the guys "get it" and understand that losing weight is a commitment and it's all relevant to each person's personal WL journey that we all struggle with.

What is the contridiction? You can never tell what company you are in. I have lived many lives...I have lived the life of a slim person for many decades. I have been in the beauty business, real estate business, and my husband was in the oil business. I have lived in many states and many different countries. I have lived an International lifestyle. We had access to our own private company jet.

I have gone through my depression period.(personal loss of a loved one) a time of deep dispair where I did not leave my house for many month on end. I should call it my incognito period. I did not want to see anyone or be seen by anyone. I just wanted to be a ghost.

Then I have my morbid obseity period where everyday is a choice of good food or the evil choice of the dispised "sweets". Why do we crave it. It is like a drug we can go for months without even a thought of the evil sweet taste. Then one little taste and we are hooked all over again. I am the original midnight stalker...of my cupboards where the dreaded candy used to reside.

I am proud of my many achievements, I am an adopted mother to a beautiful 29 yo daughter. I have been a sucessful business woman. I have a doveted supportive husband. We live in a nice home surrounded by grand vineyards with hill and mountian views. I still enjoy the company of my 92 yo mother. I am from a large family and have many friends.

This past year has been both a challenge and a world of new adventures. I have had to learn how to live by the WLS rules. Not always an easy task. I have been filled, over filled, unfilled, drained, and dusted offf like an old rubber tire. But what would I do without my friend my "little rubber band"? And what would I do without my friends on LBT? Thank you eveyone for your kind support.

I will be attending my daughter's wedding this April. I have ordered and will be wearing my size 8 gown. We are so greatful for the many blessing our family enjoys.

Oh did I mention I was 67 yo on my last birthday. Everyone tells me I look much younger. We used to live in Hawaii hence the name "Sandy Beach" that's where I learned to surf. (as a much younger girl)

[Sandy Beach 4]

Thanks Jack...You have a way with words yourself

[HeatherO 7]

Thanks for sharing your story. It is so easy to identify with you . . . so many of us have lived in different lives, different roles.

I have also been blessed with a wonderful life without obesity being my only failure, but that was the past :0). My little rubber band has given me a new lease on life in a "normal" sized body. I am so grateful and lucky to have my band to help.

[Band_Groupie 3]

Wow! I've taken more from your story than any other I've read...HOPE! I too have been thin and fat many times, most recently down 90# from where I am now 8 years ago and 60# 4 years ago and 40# just last year...and yes, I've been doing this yo-you and more for about 30 years, and was never a fat kid. I just barely made the minimum 35 BMI (READ if you need a laugh) and I'm at my heaviest now. Although it gets harder and harder to lose the weight the real thing I'm looking forward to is being able to KEEP it off and get my health back (I'm looking forward to those pics at my kids weddings someday too--my oldest-DD is 21)!! I sooo look forward to getting off this roller coaster and having food/dieting play a normal role in my life. I know not everyone gets this as they think 'You've lost it before, why can't you do that again instead of something as extreme as WLS?' Thank you for your post as it was very personal for me!