Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How forthcoming are you to people when they ask what you did to lose weight?



Recommended Posts

How do you answer when people ask, "What did you do to lose so much weight?" Do you tell them about the WLS or do you say diet and exercise? All of my good friends know that I'm having the surgery done but what about acquaintances? I'm not ashamed I'm having the surgery but I also don't want people I don't know very well (who aren't going through WLS) knowing the details.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I decided to tell people (family, friends and work colleagues) about the surgery for a number of reasons. Firstly I wanted people to understand what I was now able to eat/not eat especially as my surgery was early December and so close to Christmas celebrations. Secondly I wanted to make myself accountable and make sure that this time I didn't fail on my wieght loss attempt. Having surgery is a drastic measure and for me knowing that everyone knew what I'd done would make me stick to my program more effectively. In saying that, I really understand why people choose not to tell others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If anyone asks I tell them I got the lap band. I'm happy to have it, proud of doing it, generally pleased about it. Besides, it IS diet and exercise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If someone just comments about my weight loss, I just thank them and say something vague, but if someone asks specifically what I am doing, I tell them. Originally, my plan had been to only tell a few people, but I refuse to lie about it. I work for a large organization and I've been there a long time. Also, it's mostly women. Weight loss is a constant conversation topic. I know I've been the subject of lots of lunch table chats, but I'm not really bothered by it. If they didn't discuss my lapband, they'd be still be talking about my weight, but it would most likely sound like, "Have you noticed how much weight she's putting on? She should do something about that!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, so far no one has been bold enough to ask. If someone did, I would respond with "I am at the Y a minimum of 4 days a week doing weight training, cardio of some sort and I watch what I eat". All true.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've told friends, family and co-workers. If asked by anyone else, I will tell them I had surgery. My husband, who had surgery almost a year ago, chooses to tell people that I don't feed him anymore :thumbup:. He's more private than I am.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've only told a few people about my surgery. When they ask I tell them diet and exercise. The reason I don't tell them about the lapband is because one of my "friends"

told me I was taking the easy way out . I just want them to know it wasn't just the surgery , I had to diet and exercise to lose the weight .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't tell them.

I say that I "restrict" the amount I eat, and I eat a high Protein diet.

It is not their business as to how I lose weight, and definitely not their business to judge the validity of my choice to have lapband.

So 5 1/2 months post op, my wife, my pastor and 3 friends know.

My mother doesn't know.

My family doesn't know.

Many of my friends don't know.

My Water aerobics class doesn't know.

My co-workers don't know.

My boss doesn't know.

And certainly, no strangers know.

And that's the way I like it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I made a decision not to tell everyone prior to getting the band. We all know this is not the easy way out and I just do not want to have to justify myself or my choice to anyone so only people who care about me and I trust to be supportive know. That winds up being a few people in each area of my life and this has worked well for me. When someone compliments my weight loss I thank them for noticing. If they ask how I am doing it I tell them I am eating less and moving more. I did have one co-worker who is also obese ask to speak to me privately and when she shared her struggles and interest in getting banded I shared my story with her. That felt really good but also tells me there may be some chatting going on about how I am losing weight. I agree with cwm, at least they are not talking about how much weight I have gained!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only one knows is my spouse. I just tell them I have changed the way I eat. Just yesterday my son asked why I didn,t get something to drink (we were in a rest.) this is 6 months of Sunday dinner with no drinking. I have lost 80lb in 6.5 months and people are just now beginning to ask questions. I just didn,t want people watching every bite I take and judging me on my decison (The Surgery) I have made to change my life. My spouse is my support I need ( and lapband forum) and 3 grandkids are my motivation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there :thumbup: I tell everyone and anyone who has asked!

It keeps me accountable to be honest - mind you this is just me and it is my nature to share... not everyone feels this way and it is ok!

I am honest when asked because I know what it is like to be on the other end and if I can help just one person understand this surgery (particularly if they want to have it and are afraid to ask about it) then I am a better person for it.

An example of this is the other night when I was brought to the Emergency Room for my ovarian cyst I had an internal ultra sound done, the woman who did it was pleasant and very quiet (I was doped up on morphine but never quiet lol) she looked at my stomach where my scars are curiously and I blurted out "I had lap band surgery!"

Guess what? Her face changed, she smiled and told me she is thinking of having surgery for Lap Band! It was great to see her smile and to hear her questions - I felt like I helped in some small way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All, I told everyone. Ran into a co-worker who showed up at the local support group but she doesn't want anyone to know 9 but that area seems to spread facts and rumors far and wide) ... Well, I let folks know- if it comes up- work with nurses and get asked all the time.:thumbup: My Bro's in-laws, my cousin , and another co-worker are thinking about it..They are curious how it is going.. So far so good. But have to wait for insurance paperwork to get my 1st fill - which kind of slows down the momentum...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My direct employees in my branch know but my boss doesn't (he doesn't work in my office). My fiance and his mom know and my mom and stepfather know. I had to tell my mom and step dad because she was here for Christmas and she was trying to force food on me every other minute-She is a wonderful Italian mamma that isn't overweight herself but will tell you how fat you are while she's handing you a giant cannoli. But I have not told anyone else. I also haven't lost a bunch to its not that obvious yet. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I am still coming to terms with my band. I don't really want to get into it with anyone else yet.

I have not told my best friend, who's mom had it done and she has said some pretty nasty things about it. She has always been pretty high and mighty about her own ability to lose weight and not so nice to me about it. The "nicest" thing she said was "If you really wanted to lose weight you would do what it takes-you just don't want it bad enough". Yeah-- not telling her.

It's a totally personal decision....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well... if someone asks how I lost weight I usually will tell them that I had the lapband, especially if it is someone that is overweight themself.

I remember how discouraged I would getwhen I was trying to lose weight (prior to banding) and someone else was able to lose weight and I couldn't. I don't want someone feeling that way because of me.

The other benefit is that I am a military spouse and we will be moving from this base sooner or later, at the next base no one will know me as being fat, so no one will ask. So, everyone can know here and in a few years I will be somewhere where no one will know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People are starting to ask me. I mentioned all the exercise I'm doing. There were a number of people I told when I had the surgery, because I felt it would make sense for them to know, like my co-workers because we eat together for lunch meetings and my family and close friends.

Other people, I'm not really telling UNLESS they are overweight and struggling, then I will share my story with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×