Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I am the only one frustrated?



Recommended Posts

Please, am I the only one going crazy reading all these threads of people who seem to have no idea about what diet they should be on and what the consequences of eating solids too early can do? They put you to sleep and put something inside you for God's sake!! The docs meet with you- things are explained (I hope). What the heck?!?!

I admit my doc didn't tell me about bandster hell, but I didn't suffer through surgery to mess it all up because "I couldn't handle the diet." I KNEW about the diet before hand. If I thought I couldn't do it, I wouldn't have gotten the surgery. It is only a few weeks/months out of your lives people.

I am sorry, but I am so frustrated. I love this site, and I love that I can have almost any question answered at anytime of the night or day, but really I just find others who have been through it and support me. But some people are absolutely clueless!! How can you get major surgery and have no idea what is going on!!!???

Thanks for letting me rant. I love you all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please, am I the only one going crazy reading all these threads of people who seem to have no idea about what diet they should be on and what the consequences of eating solids too early can do? They put you to sleep and put something inside you for God's sake!! The docs meet with you- things are explained (I hope). What the heck?!?!

I admit my doc didn't tell me about bandster hell, but I didn't suffer through surgery to mess it all up because "I couldn't handle the diet." I KNEW about the diet before hand. If I thought I couldn't do it, I wouldn't have gotten the surgery. It is only a few weeks/months out of your lives people.

I am sorry, but I am so frustrated. I love this site, and I love that I can have almost any question answered at anytime of the night or day, but really I just find others who have been through it and support me. But some people are absolutely clueless!! How can you get major surgery and have no idea what is going on!!!???

Thanks for letting me rant. I love you all!

Just do what you know to be right, listen to your surgeon, and be conservative on what you eat. You'll be fine. :confused:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that it shows that some of the doctors or programs are not preparing their patients properly. I had to learn all about it for 6 months before I got the surgery. I have a whole binder full of information that I look at everyday. I think that it is sad/scary that people are finding themselves in this situation when they should be spending the time on healing and not freaking out about if they have done something wrong or not!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This has frustrated me also. And it seems to be getting worse. Daily there is posts that lead you to belive that folks are getting operated on without having a clue as to what to do afterword. I fail to understand how someone could undergo an operation and not have discussed the follow up instructions with the doctor or one of the staff. I feel sure that these people are not being given an operation and then just sent packing without some further instructions. Lets get real here and accept that it is our own responsibilty to be informed!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is in it great that the only person you have to worry about is yourself. That the only person you need to be frustrated with is yourself, because really the only person you can control is yourself.

Take the comments on the threads with a grain of salt. They are for informational purposes only. Read and move on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some of the posts really concern me that there are people with such severe eating disorders that any type of WLS would be putting the cart before the horse. Of all the WLS's, it seems to me, the band is the one that is least a magic bullet, not that any of them are, but the it seems that with the band you need the most self control. I do think there are people who have buried their head in the sand when it comes to learning what they need to know to be successful, but I also feel there are doctors who are not giving the proper instruction and screening prior to banding.

I don't get frustrated with the posts you're referring to as much as I pity some of the posters and some of their situations. I guess I feel very fortunate that I've found a very good medical office, I have a supportive family, and I have had the time and inclination to research the band, both pre-op and post-op. I've also found LBT to be a wealth of info, and I appreciate the time people take out of their day to help one another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that it shows that some of the doctors or programs are not preparing their patients properly. I had to learn all about it for 6 months before I got the surgery. I have a whole binder full of information that I look at everyday. I think that it is sad/scary that people are finding themselves in this situation when they should be spending the time on healing and not freaking out about if they have done something wrong or not!

In all honesty, what I've seen seems to indicate an issue with the bandsters' inability to refrain from improper foods and not with the doctors' instructions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get a little frustrated sometimes but have to remember that old saying "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones". If I don't want to answer a post, I don't have to. I ask some "out there" questions, I get confused, why shouldn't other people? And if they want to be self destructive, or snarky, or uninformed, well, that's their prerogative.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait, wait, wait.... I think BethFromVA points it out well... most of those posts include a phrase like, "I know I shouldn't have eaten this....but...."

So perhaps we can't blame the surgeons out there for not giving the education. I think the best we can do as a group when talking to people with questions is always emphasize that they should have good communication with their medical team and actually follow their instruction. So when someone is considering the surgery, they first should ask themselves if they are compliant patients.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been very well behaved when it comes to following the doctor's eating plan, but I can see how people can screw up. For the most part, we're addicts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I understand about being frustrated some times with some posts, but that is the beauty of this forum - it gives me a moment to see if I can be of help or encouragement - if I don't think I can I will let someone else post :grouphug:

I am glad this site is available period for anyone, so that they can ask any question, tell you they might have done something "wrong" or un-band like - because if you can't share those feelings or issues with someone who was banded who can you share them with?

And as RestlessMonkey (who's posts seem spot on) said, if I don't want to answer a post I don't have to - sounds good to me.

By the way I have done bad things sometimes, I am not a martyr LOL and will never give the impression to all you folks that I am -

and my disclaimer for the day is ...

***mistakes are human... therefor I am :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

***mistakes are human... therefor I am :grouphug: -- this is me as well

I am sorry for not being as strong as you.. I am sorry that giving up my best friend for 35 years is harder on em then you... I am sorry that I may be confused or lost with this process.. I was informed- I have all the material- it states mushy food- lots of liquids- I followed it.. I just needed a little more..

Please dont be frustrated with the new comers that are reaching out for help- you dont know where I come from or what support I may or may not be getting from my docotr so reaching out here is all I had at the moment...

Im sorry for being human...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

***mistakes are human... therefor I am :) -- this is me as well

I am sorry for not being as strong as you.. I am sorry that giving up my best friend for 35 years is harder on em then you... I am sorry that I may be confused or lost with this process.. I was informed- I have all the material- it states mushy food- lots of liquids- I followed it.. I just needed a little more..

Please dont be frustrated with the new comers that are reaching out for help- you dont know where I come from or what support I may or may not be getting from my docotr so reaching out here is all I had at the moment...

Im sorry for being human...

Well said DeniseF!:grouphug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

***mistakes are human... therefor I am :grouphug: -- this is me as well

I am sorry for not being as strong as you.. I am sorry that giving up my best friend for 35 years is harder on em then you... I am sorry that I may be confused or lost with this process.. I was informed- I have all the material- it states mushy food- lots of liquids- I followed it.. I just needed a little more..

Please dont be frustrated with the new comers that are reaching out for help- you dont know where I come from or what support I may or may not be getting from my docotr so reaching out here is all I had at the moment...

Im sorry for being human...

I know this may not make sense, but for me, I get frustrated more with the people who say it's okay that somebody ate a side of beef three days after surgery. I know that is exaggerating a tad, but it's the enablers who, maybe to justify their own screw-ups, tell others that "it's okay, I did it too."

Yes, we all screw up at times; but those who enable or encourage it are the ones I take issue with because it's people sharing destructive tendencies with others. Who wants to be the "lone screw-up," right? Like misery loves company.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is true I don't have to respond, but when I read a new post like "I ate a big burger, should I have been able to" it kills me. I just need to stop taking them seriously, because, come on, do you really not know the answer to your own question?

I am far from perfect. For example, I was put on full liquid diet for weeks 2-3 post op. On Monday, I get to start purees. So what did I do on my way home from work? I stopped at Red Lobster and got my family some food to take home. I got myself some Soup and shrimp scampi. When I got home, I put the Soup and shrimp in my blender and added a little milk. It was still pretty thick, but had the consistancy of chewed up cottage cheese (which is on my current menu). It had so much flavor and tasted so great. When I went to take the the 10th very small bite, my chest started to hurt a little and I hicupped. I put the rest away for tomorrow, thinking - wow, less than a half of cup made me full- right on!

Now I know better than to ask if this was ok to do. In my head, I made the choice and I don't regret it. And I understand when people ask these sort of questions, because I read all the time people making little cheats, and I DO think- hey- if it is ok for them, it is ok for me. But when I see the explosion of posts in reply to really stupid mistakes (like eating a burger two days post op) I know NEVER to do something that stupid. I know what I should do, and I believe that if you should make a mistake, don't tell the others on this site "hey I did this, do you think it was wrong?" Ask real questions- don't look for forgiveness or validity for what you are doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×