Shrinkin' Violets Part 3 Read HERE!

[TracyinKS 7]

Ok.. I'm skipping several pages to say WHAT????????? Michelle is going on TV??????????

Suzie: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Haydee: that place sounded heavenly!

So........... for me.....

Fill today...... had to face the scale......

ohhhhhhhhh it was baddddddddddddddddd

OMG OMG it was BADddddddddddd.

at the doc 212 at home 206 either way I'm A FREAKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the PA says she is worried about how much I can eat and I shouldn't be able to eat that much so we will most likely be doing an upper GI....... (I'm thinking to myself) WTF? PLEASE GOD NO!!!

First she decided to pull out all my fill and see where we were at.. (should lof been 1.9 cc's) because she pulled out all of it last time too and I had 1.4 cc's.........

Well... she looked happy when she pulled out my fill because I didn't need an upper GI... but I did Lose the last fill........ I only had 1.4 cc's in it..........

So she gave me a full 1 cc and told me to watch it like a hawk and if I lose restriction again I am to come immediatly in and be checked for a leak.........

So I guess I know WHY I can eat so much..... but yes Tracy... it is MY HEAD too.......... but also that I am hungry more, and that I can actually eat way more than I should be able to........ I HOPE this sparks a rejuice for me.

[TracyK 3]

Tracy-I hope the fill is the sweet spot for ya! :smile2:

[janiebug 0]

Pamela, that sucks about the airline schedule!! What a pain to have to deal with!!

Tracy I am waiting for the spark to rejuice myself. If you find it let me know!!

I am trying to stay positive about this weight gain, but not being very strong. It really has gotten me down a lot!! I am now a little over 300 a place I never wanted to visit again. I have an appointment on the 14th for a fill and will weigh then, but I really don't think I have lost anything. Really need to get inside my head and see what the problem is. Why are some people sooo successful. Why can't I feel the way I did a month or so after my surgery? At that point I thought there is no way anyone could gain weight!! Eat around the band? What does that mean? I want this so bad, so why am I struggling with it? What makes some people struggle with it, and some people have it come easy for them. It doesn't mean that I am weaker or less deserving. I learned this the hard way. When I had my brain tumor, it is a death sentance for a lot of people, I was one of the lucky ones, but it didn't mean anything, the people that died from it were not any less special or deserving of life. It was just in their cards. Wow am I getting very deep or what!! I am going to stop now.

Jane

[Suziecat 379]

Wow Jane. I didn't realize that you were struggling that bad. I knew you were struggling, just didn't realize you had all those demons floating around. I wish I had magical words for you. As you know I have been at the same weight for over 4 months now. I too have been battleing. I eventually started seeing a psyhc Doc. I'm not sure how much of a help he has been. One thing he did have me doing was writing down all that I was eating. I told him as he looks at my charts that it doesn't show all the BLT's that I have a day. Bites, Licks, Tastes. Those are the things that can add up to about 400 calories a day. So, now I know how much I eat a day. What do I do about it. He never has gotten to that point. But one thing that has really helped me along is this "Reboot" Camp thing that I have been going thru. This woman has really showed me mistakes I have been making and how to correct them to get the maximum benefit out of a workout. Since starting her class I have lost 6 pounds. I'm hoping this is my kick in the butt. Hang in there and just keep doing the best you can.

[TerriDoodle 6]

I've been thinking about this (for me) a lot today: I realized that I am shooting for that feeling of 'fullness' like the old pre-band days. If it takes me 45 minutes or an hour to eat what's on my plate, by God that's how long I will eat!!

If I'm eating non-slider foods it takes me forever to finish a meal. If I eat slider foods (read: full of fat) then I can eat in 30 minutes or so AND I get that yummy feeling of fullness to boot. SOOOOooo... guess what I choose to eat 90% of the time? That's called 'eating around the band'!

SOLUTION: Protein + Veggies, 20 minute meal...TOPS. Sound familiar?

I'm gettin' there. Not there yet, but I'm getting there. Gym, too.

[TerriDoodle 6]

Jenn - where the heck are you?

[janiebug 0]

You know struggling is something we all deal with. Sometimes it is easier than others. I do go for counseling every other week. My counselor and I had a long talk about what I want out of counseling. If I knew what I needed would I be in counseling? I can joke about it and make light of all of it, but when push comes to shove it is a struggle!! I know I am not weak, but it is still a struggle. Anyone remember when we were kids about 'biorythms'? Maybe that is the answer!!!

[janiebug 0]

How funny, I just checked my biorythms and I am at the lowest point intellectually, so disregard everything I have said today!! In the words of Martin Short 'I am not very smart'! Do you guys know what I am talking about with Martin Short on snl a long time ago when he was a sychronized swimmer with Water wings? I am cracking myself up now just thinking about it!!

[Jennifur 0]

Morning gals

i have a lot going on, just completely stressed about everything, kev (not bad, just not quite where i want it yet) job, money, the fact i'm a fat ass and can't lose anything, and the job thing, i don't know what to do about our trip and that is eating me up.

I did go get a fill yesterday, first one in a year, i expected great things this am when i got up and nope, gained 1/2 lb

I went from 1.25 to 1 so they filled me back to 1.25 and i can't get another appt until 7/9 so i hope it was enough. It took 20 minutes to drink 1 cup of coffee so i hope that i can get back to onderland soon, was 202 yest at dr and monday from pms was up to 209 - i can't imagine that is good for my body, that is massive and how does it happen?

anyway, miss you all - just trying to make it through every day, I guess if i know what was happening with my current job it would help me make decisions on what to do.

I am in Safety class today so i'll try to check in when i get home

[TracyK 3]

good morning everyone!

Congrats to those who made it through another wrk week!!

I haven't weighed since Monday...feel like I have done well so I am not going to weigh and ruin the feeling, lol.

Jane-when I read your post about struggling with weight loss I sat here and nodded my head with every sentence. I wish the enthusiasm we had the first 6 months of being banded could be bottled up and sold....cause I could use a case of that stuff right now!!

((((hugs)))) violets. We are all having a tough time but we are tough ladies! ONWARD!!!!

[TerriDoodle 6]

Jenn - I thought you already bought your ticket. Hey, I don't care if you gotta sell the kids....you NEED to get to Alabama!

[mdrai 3]

Good Morn, Vi's~~

Ugh. Had PTA meeting last night and the "transition period" for me from 10 years of heavy-duty PTA'ing, investing my heart & soul into it, is beginning... & it turns out that I don't like it! Surprise! Up 'til now I've been so cavalier about it, but now the "up & comers" are starting to take over & plot & plan (& naturally so, I understand mentally) -- & pick apart things I've spent a decade creating & building up & they just stand there @ the end of the meeting whispering and every so often I could here "...Michelle...Michelle..." and I call over, "I can hear you, you know!" lols all around but I was a bit put out! You think they'd USE my knowledge and actually ask me to find out why we do things certain ways -- there's usually a reason, it's not random! Ugh. I was ok on a higher-level, "what do I care" in general kind of way until this a.m. when I heard they were ripping the newsletter, which is my baby! -- that hurt. Sigh. I guess this is just how it is & was & will be in the cycle of such organizations... It's just hitting me harder than I thought it would... I really thought I was thrilled to be done with it! So I'm pensive.

On that note... it's work, work, work today!! I have to submit 20 chapters to my editor.

Make it a good one!

[TracyinKS 7]

Good morning and happy Friday.

I can definately tell that I had a fill! My coffee is going down slow and I'm nibbling on a Fiber bar.. :confused:

I hope it lasts

[TracyinKS 7]

Michelle..... I got armwrestled into taking PTO Vice Prez last night.....

Luckily my transition year will be easy because our school will be closed for remodeling. However before elections I volunteered to take over the Cambells Soup Labels.... (our Kroger has the online program) so even next year we can earn points just by people using their shopper cards.

[Jennifur 0]

Morning gals

I am at work, kind of quiet, but here

Terry - never got it because i don't know where i'm going to be working and don't know what to do, i can't do anything if i'm only getting $400 a week to live on. This job thing is killing me, and now it looks like i'm going to be here until June 1 at least. I don't know what to do, my life is spinning out of control

Jane - i'm so sorry, I feel the same way every day, why was it so easy and now I can't lose an ounce. I want it so badly and all the things i did worked, but do not now. In reality i've lost 20lbs in the last year, ok since May when I started this job, but i only want to lose 20 more, not 80 more which is where people tell me i should be... so instead, i get depressed and go to bed, that helps...

that is all i've been doing, working and sleeping, i'm so unhappy i don't know what to do with myself

on that happy note, I'm off tomorrow, so that will be good, i need to finish cleaning the house, so close to finishing up