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Things People Pass Off For Compliments and Things Skinny People Say That Piss You Off



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This is the one I hate now more than ever.....one of my aunts says to me(everytime I see her) "geeshhh, your not gonna lose any MORE weight are you????" I am thinking, "why, you already jealous??" I don't know why people even open their mouths.

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I was wondering if I had anything to contribute to this thread, and realized that I do. I can relate to so much of what I’ve read here, but two things happened to me, both when I was riding a bus.

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The first time I was sitting near the back door. The seat was one that faced sideways, and there was an individual one with a pole that separated it from the person next to it. This man got on and came back, and said, very loudly, “There sure are a lot of fat people on this bus today.” He was obviously drunk, and some other guy told him to shut up and added that he smelled “like a damn brewery.”

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The other time I was getting off the bus. It was crowded but I got up and went to the back door. In passing, I brushed past some jerk who said to his friend, “She’s got a great big ol’ sit-down on her,” and then added, “Have you ever f***ed a fat blind person?” I didn’t say anything, just got off the bus, but the shame …

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I think it's so sad that people make such vast stereotypes. Thinking we are lazy or stupid. Or that we have no emotions(and that what they say doesn't hurt.) I just want to say that I'm so happy for those of you out there that have found support and love and understanding from spouses and family. It's sad but this forum is shedding light on how ignorant some of our families are. (At least mine.)

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Kimmie K, oh gosh your comments from your Dad were so terrible. I'm sorry! My dad did a lot of the same thing. He passed away 2 years ago, and unfortunately, a lot of my memories are him giving me grief about being overweight. I'm sure that is not how he wanted to be remembered.

Sorry you have been denied 3x. My insurance also does not cover the surgery. Have you considered going self-pay with Dr. Kirshenbaum in Denver? There is a huge thread on here all about him. It is just under 10K, and everyone seems to love him. My consult is Friday.

Good luck girl, and keep your chin up.

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There's always the usual, "You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose some weight." Then when you do knock off some pounds, "Slow down, fatty! Gettin too thin!" :) Just can't win lol

The last salon I worked at, we had a particularly loud-mouthed receptionist, an older lady with enough problems of her own. I'd found out just a month or so before that she used to be extremely overweight her entire life, and apparently now that she was in her 50's, she was the only one in her family to get their weight under control. Her mouth, not so much!

One day a few of us were sitting in the back on break, and I was complaining about how my foot was giving me problems that day from breaking in a new pair of shoes. Receptionist walks in on the tail end of me griping about the pain -- "Maybe you should see a doctor. He'll just tell you to lose weight, though."

WHAT?! The two other girls who were back there with me just went silent, and I just looked at her and said, "...Mmhm." That was the end of the break lol

Came back to edit this after thinking about some of your posts:

Back in highschool (so long ago, lol), two girls who sat in front of me were talking to two guys who sat in front of them about how glad they were to be short (one was 5'0, the other maybe 5'2-5'3?), because when short people get fat, it's cute and they'd be so squishy and bouncy and rolly. No idea how the convo started or why it continued, but basically this went on for the last five minutes of class, an entire conversation about how short fat girls are cute, but tall fat girls are "beastly."

Totally oblivious of me behind them, about 5'9, and was probably 280lbs at the time :)

I just read a book, pretending not to hear, when one of the guys they were talking to silently motions to me. They turn around and quickly end their, um, serious discussion.

We always got along great, before and after that, but then I was always wondering what was going through their heads when they'd see me :)

Edited by Dyzzi

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I used to work for the Navy about 17 yrs ago and I remember once when I went to buy a donut, apparently, some guy (who was a jerk that no one could stand anyway) made a comment to a few of the other sailors (who were all my friends and very protective) about there not being any left when I got done. I guess all these sailors really let him have it and told him they didn't appreciate them talking about me like that and he needed to apologize. I had no clue any of this had happened, until he came to my office with one of my friends and apologized. LOL I've been blessed with a wonderful husband who fell in love with me just how I was and now, 15 yrs and 4 beautiful kids later, he still feels the same and has been totally supportive of my decision to have the surgery (which i had on June 25). Never suggested I ever do anything. He loves me the way I am and will love me when I'm smaller, too. :)

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I used to work for the Navy about 17 yrs ago and I remember once when I went to buy a donut, apparently, some guy (who was a jerk that no one could stand anyway) made a comment to a few of the other sailors (who were all my friends and very protective) about there not being any left when I got done. I guess all these sailors really let him have it and told him they didn't appreciate them talking about me like that and he needed to apologize. I had no clue any of this had happened, until he came to my office with one of my friends and apologized. LOL I've been blessed with a wonderful husband who fell in love with me just how I was and now, 15 yrs and 4 beautiful kids later, he still feels the same and has been totally supportive of my decision to have the surgery (which i had on June 25). Never suggested I ever do anything. He loves me the way I am and will love me when I'm smaller, too. :smile2:

Those are the best hubbys to have!!!!

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I am another one with a crazy, fat, mouthed family...before I had kids I was 105 soaking wet, but when I got pregnant of course I gained weight, 60 pounds total...looking back I was not fat or bad looking..I was just a bit bigger. Well she got a little kick out of introducing me as..." this is my daughter, who used to weight 97 pounds"...no more intro than that no name, date of birth, nothing. Just welcome to our home and excuse or fat daughter. My mom the bitch. Now in her old age she is putting on weight...I wish her the best.

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You are more charitable than I am! LOL The nicest thing I can say is, I hope she learns the error of her ways. And maybe a little humility.

Orea

I am another one with a crazy, fat, mouthed family...before I had kids I was 105 soaking wet, but when I got pregnant of course I gained weight, 60 pounds total...looking back I was not fat or bad looking..I was just a bit bigger. Well she got a little kick out of introducing me as..." this is my daughter, who used to weight 97 pounds"...no more intro than that no name, date of birth, nothing. Just welcome to our home and excuse or fat daughter. My mom the bitch. Now in her old age she is putting on weight...I wish her the best.

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Well growing up, my Dad would always call me thunder thighs...

And every time we would drive by Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig my little brother would tell me I needed to go there (this was when I was 12-14 years old).

And more recently, I was at a "mud run" where people bring their big mud trucks, 4-wheelers, and tractors to drive around in the mud. I went with my tall and skinny (but not pretty in the face or friendly) friend when some guys called us over to where their truck was parked. They asked if we would pose in front of their truck while they took a picture of us. My friend and I were standing side by side in front of the truck smiling for the picture, and right when the guy was going to take it one of his friends jumped in front of me and put his arm around my friend so that it would look like I wasent in the picture. Ouch. Not even good enough to stand in front of some dumb redneck's muddy piece of crap truck... A bunch of equally heart-breaking stuff happened to me in that week, and thats when I decided to get Lap-Band. :rolleyes:

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I would never tell my x husband (note the x) how much I weighed because I knew he had issues with it. Finally, after he prodded over and over I told him the truth, I weighted 150 (would love that now). He went on and on that if I wasn't going to tell him I shouldn't make up some really high number. What a jerk.

Fast forward: told new husband while dating what my weight was and my problems with it. He loves me no matter what. What a guy!

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OK- for the most part, everyone I know has been nothing but supportive. Plus, I have a really good self esteem and it takes alot to bother me. but I have to share this funny story. I am an ER nurse and we see some pretty crazy people sometimes. This young girl (about 20) comes in for a psych eval by ambulance and is immediately placed on a 72 hour psych hold for her protection. She was a bitch and uncooperative and overly dramatic. When the female EMT(who is also heavy) and I went into the room to take care of her, she said "Oh I would rather be dead than fat!!!" I just smiled so sweetly and said "THat may be true, but I wouldn't trade your life for mine for one second! Plus, I get to go home today."

I would rather be fat, smart, and productive than skinny, stupid, and a skank anyday!!! LOL

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Nice comback! Don't you love those types of patients?!?

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OMG! Where to begin? What is wrong with some people? I hate people who do things "for your own good".

First my mother: She has decided that I need the surgery because my ex-husband's new wife was banded. They were sleeping together for 4 years while we were married. Mamma never before mentioned that I might need something as drastic as surgery before this. Now she is broad casting to the whole family "Marcia is going to have surgery!" It's like she always has to be one up on this lady. I wish she would get over it already!

Second my ex-boyfriend: He is probably really the one who finally made my decision for me. Please don't think I am bragging, but I make pretty good money. I fianlly realized that was why he was so in "love" with me. He made several comments along the lines of "I wish you were the size you were when we first got together" "You do realize you are a big girl, don't you?" "I can tell you are putting on weight every time you get on top". All this while his stomach was three times the size it started out to be. But he never turned down a trip or a gift that I paid for.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write a book! I could vent all day. :)

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Well, I got a call from my best friend from high school who is just one of those people who never gains weight. Anyway, I told her I just had lapband surgery and she said "Did you really get THAT big?". Nice huh?! I'm going today to change my number.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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