Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Dating



Recommended Posts

I have been avoiding dating for awhile... especially since my weight climbed up quite high. The last time I was seeing someone was a year ago and that lasted like, a week!

I think I am going to be ready to date again soon. I am feeling so much better about myself.

Has anyone else gone through this? I know there are lots of women out there... but I am also older now (31) and it seems like the bars are full of 21-24 year olds.

What should I do? Where should I go? I live in a big urban area with a big gay/lesbian community and have lots of LGBT friends... however, almost all are coupled up.

Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you like to read? You could go to the lesbian/gay bookstores? Or is the a LGBT community center in your city?

I don't care for bars anymore, or the people I have met in them. Try events or such.

I'm glad you are gaining confidence, that will help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dom't shy away from doing things with your friends that are couples I met my partner at a party a couple we each knew had, we've been together 7 years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with JayTee562, I too met my partner the same way, at a friend’s party. So, do not dismiss the couple friends. As for an alternative, just do the things you like and try new things. It can only get better.

E

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What do you like to do? There's a large gay community where you are, so there's bound to be lots of other women who are interested in the same things. There's book reading groups, hiking groups, bike riding groups, just going-for-a-walk groups. Why not think about starting up a coffee shop chat group?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just wanted to update people. I am DATING now. I went on 3 last week and have 3 planned for this week. Nothing that is creating sparks yet, but it will happen.

YAY FOR THE BAND!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrades on your dating! It has been almost 4 years since I was in a relationship a bad relationship!! Since then I haven't had the confidence of a 20yr to go out there and date. I have not even seen some of my old lovers for a hook up; not interested. I rearly go out to clubs or private parties; too concern about my weight. Most of my friends are in relationships and I just feel awkward at parties. Hopefully soon I will want to go out. I am in my mid-forties and the club is not for me. So we will see what happens.

Good Luck!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Littlefroggy! Good for you for "Getting Out There" !

I'm comfortable in my own skin, big or not, and never have a problem meeting people... However - I'm Bi, I've havn't dated a woman in 4 years, and am so sick of men just wanting a Booty Call, and lying or saying anything to get it. Granted, sometimes a booty call is all you want. Fine. But I'd love to meet someone I can relate to, and at least go out in public with once in a while, as opposed to staying in ALL the time. But where I live there isn't a very large Gay/Lesbian population, or if there is, I haven't found it. Any place anyone on here can reccomend? I hate websites, but sometimes, it's the only way ... Any assistance is appreciated !

Peace ...

Bobbie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW NOrth Dakota that's tuff. I'm sure you did the searches I found thia link to PFLAG in Grand Forks Grand Forks Pflag Newsletter. I lived in Minot when I was 19-21 and heard rumors ab out a gay bar but never checked it out. I've seen post for Frago-Morehead but they say the bar closed. You may need to some online networking and hope to meet a group and find someone there. Good Luck..Remember North Dakota isn't the end of the world but you cna see it from there......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another Update....

I have met and INCREDIBLE woman. We have amazing CHEMISTRY and we want the same things out of life. She is accomplished in her career, intelligent, family oriented, totally is into me as much as I am into her and things are just fantastic.

I totally attribute it to the band, because without it I never would have been comfortable enough to put myself out there.

So, this has been a success story!!!! Yay for the band!!!!

(Oh and we met online, despite living in a gay mecca! Since both of us are more family/career oriented, we never would have met at a bar!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another Update....

I have met and INCREDIBLE woman. We have amazing CHEMISTRY and we want the same things out of life. She is accomplished in her career, intelligent, family oriented, totally is into me as much as I am into her and things are just fantastic.

I totally attribute it to the band, because without it I never would have been comfortable enough to put myself out there.

So, this has been a success story!!!! Yay for the band!!!!

(Oh and we met online, despite living in a gay mecca! Since both of us are more family/career oriented, we never would have met at a bar!)

congrats, froggy! i've been testing the dating waters too, but so far no major sparks. still, i guess it's good to get out there. i'm on a couple of different dating sites and have told all my friends (mostly married lesbians with kids) that they need to pimp me out. hey, it's hard out there for a dyke. :-)

i've always been a pretty confident person, but the band/weight loss has really boosted things. i'm about 40-50 pounds from where i'd ultimately like to be, but i'm healthier and more active than i have been since i was in college. in fact my college sweetheart just facebooked me and commented that i now look like i did when we were in college. i blushed in front of my laptop. heh.

and here's a random nsv, i bought a sweater, jeans and a shirt from the gap. yeah, baby... straight off the rack. (okay off the men's rack, but still!) it's been a long ass time since i shopped anywhere other than lane bryant or on the plus sized section of eddie bauer and landsend. i think i'm going to sneak into banana republic next week.... ahh, optimism.

hope everyone is well...

ps, any going to the lapband convention in nyc? if so, would love to meet up with some of the lgbt contingent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another Update....

I have met and INCREDIBLE woman. We have amazing CHEMISTRY and we want the same things out of life. She is accomplished in her career, intelligent, family oriented, totally is into me as much as I am into her and things are just fantastic.

I totally attribute it to the band, because without it I never would have been comfortable enough to put myself out there.

So, this has been a success story!!!! Yay for the band!!!!

(Oh and we met online, despite living in a gay mecca! Since both of us are more family/career oriented, we never would have met at a bar!)

Thats Fantastic!!!! Congrats!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • SabrinaGoddess

      Banded in 2009; Unbanded 2012
      Lived life 2012-2019 struggling with weight again and massive depression
      The decision to have Gastric Sleeve made Oct. 17th, 2019
      Contacted my doc for inital consultation (Oct 30th)
      Self Pay
      Here we go....finally getting back to ME
      Created a new blog to journal ALL of my thoughts and progresses
      www.SabrinaGoddess.com
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ms.sss

      So my surgery anniversary date is on the 24th of this month, but I had my 1-year follow up early with my surgeon this morning (I have another 1-year followup at the hospital on Monday to get my bloodwork and labs done).
      Anyhoo...my surgeon was very pleased with my results (and so where the office staff apparently, because 3 of the front desk ladies came by my exam room to give me props/high fives/generally gawk at me).
      But get this: he asked if I would be willing to come in for a future photoshoot so that I could be on a poster! And I was all, ummmm....no thanks, LOL.
      · 2 replies
      1. SabrinaGoddess

        Why? You worked hard! You can do it!

      2. ms.sss

        I guess I could, but the idea of being out there for all to see just skeeves me out! Nope, not for me ;)

    • Krestel

      Today was a really tough day and I turned to food (and a watered down glass of wine). The interesting part was that I felt REALLY full after eating half my go to cheat snack, tortilla chips with cheese. So the GBP is doing its job!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Nomorepasta

      Does anyone know how to change specific info on ur profile ex. Surgery date weight etc. ?..
      · 1 reply
      1. Cheeseburgh

        Click on your pic/name. A list will pop up and scroll down to “my surgery”. You can change Surgery specifics there.

        To adjust weight stay on that same page, look left and click on progress. Voila!

    • Krestel

      The only way I can tell that I'm losing weight is from the scale and my clothes "getting bigger".
      · 1 reply
      1. nenes78

        When logged in, click on your username up top then choose my surgery, from there choose your option on the left menu. Or click the link https://www.bariatricpal.com/patients/portal/?do=progress

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×