I have been avoiding dating for awhile... especially since my weight climbed up quite high. The last time I was seeing someone was a year ago and that lasted like, a week!

I think I am going to be ready to date again soon. I am feeling so much better about myself.

Has anyone else gone through this? I know there are lots of women out there... but I am also older now (31) and it seems like the bars are full of 21-24 year olds.

What should I do? Where should I go? I live in a big urban area with a big gay/lesbian community and have lots of LGBT friends... however, almost all are coupled up.

Thanks!

Do you like to read? You could go to the lesbian/gay bookstores? Or is the a LGBT community center in your city?

I don't care for bars anymore, or the people I have met in them. Try events or such.

I'm glad you are gaining confidence, that will help.

Dom't shy away from doing things with your friends that are couples I met my partner at a party a couple we each knew had, we've been together 7 years.

I agree with JayTee562, I too met my partner the same way, at a friend’s party. So, do not dismiss the couple friends. As for an alternative, just do the things you like and try new things. It can only get better.

E

What do you like to do? There's a large gay community where you are, so there's bound to be lots of other women who are interested in the same things. There's book reading groups, hiking groups, bike riding groups, just going-for-a-walk groups. Why not think about starting up a coffee shop chat group?

I just wanted to update people. I am DATING now. I went on 3 last week and have 3 planned for this week. Nothing that is creating sparks yet, but it will happen.

YAY FOR THE BAND!

Congrades on your dating! It has been almost 4 years since I was in a relationship a bad relationship!! Since then I haven't had the confidence of a 20yr to go out there and date. I have not even seen some of my old lovers for a hook up; not interested. I rearly go out to clubs or private parties; too concern about my weight. Most of my friends are in relationships and I just feel awkward at parties. Hopefully soon I will want to go out. I am in my mid-forties and the club is not for me. So we will see what happens.

Good Luck!!!!

Hey Littlefroggy! Good for you for "Getting Out There" !

I'm comfortable in my own skin, big or not, and never have a problem meeting people... However - I'm Bi, I've havn't dated a woman in 4 years, and am so sick of men just wanting a Booty Call, and lying or saying anything to get it. Granted, sometimes a booty call is all you want. Fine. But I'd love to meet someone I can relate to, and at least go out in public with once in a while, as opposed to staying in ALL the time. But where I live there isn't a very large Gay/Lesbian population, or if there is, I haven't found it. Any place anyone on here can reccomend? I hate websites, but sometimes, it's the only way ... Any assistance is appreciated !

Peace ...

Bobbie

WOW NOrth Dakota that's tuff. I'm sure you did the searches I found thia link to PFLAG in Grand Forks Grand Forks Pflag Newsletter. I lived in Minot when I was 19-21 and heard rumors ab out a gay bar but never checked it out. I've seen post for Frago-Morehead but they say the bar closed. You may need to some online networking and hope to meet a group and find someone there. Good Luck..Remember North Dakota isn't the end of the world but you cna see it from there......

Another Update....

I have met and INCREDIBLE woman. We have amazing CHEMISTRY and we want the same things out of life. She is accomplished in her career, intelligent, family oriented, totally is into me as much as I am into her and things are just fantastic.

I totally attribute it to the band, because without it I never would have been comfortable enough to put myself out there.

So, this has been a success story!!!! Yay for the band!!!!

(Oh and we met online, despite living in a gay mecca! Since both of us are more family/career oriented, we never would have met at a bar!)

Another Update....

I have met and INCREDIBLE woman. We have amazing CHEMISTRY and we want the same things out of life. She is accomplished in her career, intelligent, family oriented, totally is into me as much as I am into her and things are just fantastic.

I totally attribute it to the band, because without it I never would have been comfortable enough to put myself out there.

So, this has been a success story!!!! Yay for the band!!!!

(Oh and we met online, despite living in a gay mecca! Since both of us are more family/career oriented, we never would have met at a bar!)

congrats, froggy! i've been testing the dating waters too, but so far no major sparks. still, i guess it's good to get out there. i'm on a couple of different dating sites and have told all my friends (mostly married lesbians with kids) that they need to pimp me out. hey, it's hard out there for a dyke. :-)

i've always been a pretty confident person, but the band/weight loss has really boosted things. i'm about 40-50 pounds from where i'd ultimately like to be, but i'm healthier and more active than i have been since i was in college. in fact my college sweetheart just facebooked me and commented that i now look like i did when we were in college. i blushed in front of my laptop. heh.

and here's a random nsv, i bought a sweater, jeans and a shirt from the gap. yeah, baby... straight off the rack. (okay off the men's rack, but still!) it's been a long ass time since i shopped anywhere other than lane bryant or on the plus sized section of eddie bauer and landsend. i think i'm going to sneak into banana republic next week.... ahh, optimism.

hope everyone is well...

ps, any going to the lapband convention in nyc? if so, would love to meet up with some of the lgbt contingent.

Another Update....

I have met and INCREDIBLE woman. We have amazing CHEMISTRY and we want the same things out of life. She is accomplished in her career, intelligent, family oriented, totally is into me as much as I am into her and things are just fantastic.

I totally attribute it to the band, because without it I never would have been comfortable enough to put myself out there.

So, this has been a success story!!!! Yay for the band!!!!

(Oh and we met online, despite living in a gay mecca! Since both of us are more family/career oriented, we never would have met at a bar!)

Thats Fantastic!!!! Congrats!