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The Lap Band and Dating



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I was asked out for a dinner date. We went today. I was sipping Lemon Water, and we were having a nice visit. All was well. I ordered Ahi, and nothing else. It was good, and I have tried ahi before, and eaten it without incident.

This day, though, that was not the case. I was trying to focus on chewing thoroughly, and eating slowly. I was paying extra close attention, because this was a first date, and I really didn't want it to turn into dinner AND a show!

But, soon, I have that stuck feeling. And the feeling that I cannot swallow my own spit. And he is talking, and I am trying to keep it together until he pauses, so I can make my escape to the bathroom, and some privacy.

I did manage to make it to the end of his story, and then hurriedly excused myself, and, with all the control and dignity I could muster, bolted for the restroom. Once there, I massaged just above the stomach, and spent five minutes sliming into the toilet, and managed to clear things up. And I am thankful that it was only 5 minutes, because I've had longer bouts.

So, word to the wise on dating....be CAREFUL what you order, and how you eat it!

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OMG!!! I feel for you. One of my previous posts was a question about LB and dating. So what ended up happening with your date, and did he know something was up?? Once I can actually start to eat solid foods, I will start practicing!!!

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OMG!!! I feel for you. One of my previous posts was a question about LB and dating. So what ended up happening with your date, and did he know something was up?? Once I can actually start to eat solid foods, I will start practicing!!!

Well, it was obvious that something wasn't right, and I didn't wait for him to ask, (his concerned look was enough when I came back from the restroom), so I simply told him the unvarnished truth without expounding. That a piece of the fish had gotten lodged in my esophagus.

Will there be a 2nd date?

It wasn't all fireworks, and music, but he said he would like to see me again when he walked me to my car, and said I would like that. Then I promised not to hurl on the next date....(a promise I intend to keep, by ordering Soup next time!) And we laughed about the little incident.

Sounds like your date went pretty well, but I've never heard of ahi. What is that?

Ahi is tuna, usually served very raw or very rare. This was seared, so it was cooked on the outside, and very pink in the middle. It's usually very easy to eat, and very high in Protein, low in calories, etc.

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Please excuse my ignorance, but what is sliming?

As lonedaisy said, when something gets stuck, you can't swallow...but it's more than just spit. Your esophagus begins to produce Fluid trying to flush the stuck thing down, and this fluid is very slimy, and you HAVE to spit it out, or drown. It's a disgusting event, truly it is.

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One thing I forgot to mention....

My big worry about dating with the lap band was the gas! I mean, really....how embarrassing would it be to toot the starspangled banner during a date? Luckily, this did not happen during this date, but it's always a possibility. I have never had so much gas in my life! In fact, my first husband once asked, "How is it that you never fart?" Well...he should see me now! He would be SO proud!

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Hahaha, I hear ya about the gas...but sometimes I actually just hope for it now (to be expelled):wink_smile:!!!!

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So, there was a second date. Another restaurant, another public meal.... and I didn't order the Soup. I discovered something useful.

We are not supposed to drink with our meals. Why? Because it tends to wash food down, and through the band. On a regular basis, that would be a bad thing. But for the sake of being able to relax, and appear normal on a date, that's a wonderful thing! I took tiny sips of Water throughout the meal, and simply managed to limit my intake the old fashioned way.

Everything went smoothly, and I was still well within my caloric goal for the day.

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I often take tiny sips of Water when I am eating with someone who does not know I am banded. I think it helps the food slide down and not get stuck. Since I don't eat with meals the rest of the time, I think this is perfectly okay and better than the alternative.

When it became apparant I would be speding lots of time with my bf,I told him all about the band.

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Can your partner feel the port?

In my case, there has not been enough physical contact to report back. LOL Old fashioned, afternoon dates...

But, I can feel the port, so I suppose if he was feeling around, and pressed hard enough at the right spot, he would be able to feel it too!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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