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so scared and don't know what to do



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I am so overweight and I have diabeties, sleep apnea and back pain.. I must lose.. tried everything. Lap band seems so hard to do.. is it really so hard to get used to ? I so need to lose this ....I can't get the nerve to put myself through the pain of it... if anyone has any encouragment or advise let me know..

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I understand your distress...I had all the usual co-morbidities and I was SMO - and I'd probably been that way longer than you've been alive. I had given up on losing the 'normal' way.

You're right....lapband is work and it's hard and it requires attention and concentration and learning and changing and cooperation - but it's not nearly as difficult as having to sit in a chair to cook....or having to give up driving because you can't fit behind the wheel of a car....or keeping your family from going on vacation because you can't walk more than 20 feet.....or not being able to get a job because you're too fat or too sick or can't pass the physical.....or having people stare at you or not include you or make fun of you .....or knowing you're an embarassment to your kids and your husband....or not being able to find clothes to fit....or having to take a handful of pills every morning (and every evening...and in between)....or never feeling well....or being on a walker....or in a wheelchair....or not being able to your carry your share of the load in any given situation....of being dependent on other people for so many things in life.....or wondering how much longer you are going to live....how much longer you actually want to live.........

So.....given the choice of 'all of the above' or having 3 tiny little incisions in my abdomen..... and having a tiny litttle needle stuck in my belly every few months....and learning to eat slower and eat less and eat differently - well, it was a no-brainer. I said 'sign me up!"

"All of the above' are history at my house now. I have my life back. And it has actually been much easier than I ever thought it would be. I understand you have to get to a certain level of desperation to make the decision, but when you get there, you'll know it. It does require a lot of committment and a lot of learning and un-learning to restructure your life. But when you're ready, it's all worth it.

Best wishes to you, sweetie.

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My best advice to you is Don't be scared. This is the best thing I have ever done. I wish I had done it years ago. I know it can seem overwhelming and all but you will not regret it in the end. I had a more intense surgery than most people here, I had an open sugery and was out of commision for 3 weeks, (this was due to a previous surgery) and I would still do it all over again. The feeling of being healthy and lighter is the best in the world.:thumbup:

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I understand completely how scary this can be - but what scared me more than pain of the surgery (which for me was minimal) was spending the rest of my life obese - I didn't want to hurt my body by stretching my skin beyond its limit, watching my cholesterol climb, wondering when I would have a heart attack like my father....

I could go on and on, and although it has been a month and I haven't lost a ton (I do have my first fill July 22nd which will help) I am happier with my body already, I am happier that I made a difficult decision that was scarey - you will have to make that decision when the time is right for you - if it is now then you will jump in whole heartedly :thumbup:

Good luck, take it one day at a time, talk to your doctor, ask lots of questions - and the people on this site are great with lots of great advice :o

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I am due to be banded on the 25th and I have a lot of fears about it too. I dont have any co-morbities but I knew it was only a matter of time. I want to be around for a long time.. to be free to actually run and have fun! to be able to have the energy to give my husband and baby the time they deserve! so like they said above.. the lifestyle change and the minor surgery are definately worth gaining a life! you'll feel great about yourself.. not only that you lost weight.. but that you acomplished something!!

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My experience with the lapband so far has been a little more difficult than I expected but it is definitely something I would do again. Even though I knew the lapband was just a tool, I have been struggling with head hunger issues and the compulsion to eat that I still have. But the band takes away enough of the hunger (I'm not yet at a really good level of restriction) to allow me to think through my choices and make progress. I'm really trying to focus on the emotional issues that surround my eating. That's the hard part. The physical part of the band - surgery, recovery, new way of eating, etc. - is frustrating at times but hasn't been too bad.

Everybody needs to evaluate the various options for themselves. I suggest you gather information on the lapband, other bariatric surgeries, talk to your doctor, maybe a counselor, and those close to you and see what seems like the right choice for you.

I was on medications for diabetes, high blood pressure, GERD and had chronic back pain and problems sleeping (although no apnea). I am now off all medications and my high blood pressure, diabetes and GERD are all under control with just diet and exercise. I have no back pain and my sleep problems have resolved. All this with only a third of my weight loss accomplished. I know I will only feel better as the rest of the weight comes off.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

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You sound just like me... I started on this journey in November by attending a seminar a the Journeylite in Thousand Oaks, CA.. Wow - I thought, it all looked and sounded too good to be true.. The results were amazing! I have osteoarthritis of my knees and sleep apnea along with all the other ailments that comes along with the weight. I continued to do a ton of research and even attended another seminar to answer more questions... I kept imagining my life without all the ache and pains.. :embaressed_smile:

Well, I had my surgery date. June 24th - now it was serious... The closer it came the more nervous I was. You should have seen me the morning of.. I had fears of waking up in a ton of pain, or not waking up at all.. See I never have had any type of surgery and didn't have a clue what to expect.

Well, it was the best thing I could have ever done. Yes I had the pain I was worried about, yes I woke up (that was a ridiculous worry):huh2: but now 3 weeks today, I feel great! I know it's not going to be easy, but I also know that if I follow what the doctors instructions, I too will be successful in this new life... Today is my first day of solids and I am a bit apprehensive about it. I am going to focus on one day or one meal at a time.. This is my new life and I'm going to use the lap-band to help me take control of my eating.

Good luck in whatever you decide. I know you won't be disappointed.. Do it for yourself...

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once properly filled (not over, not under - something you work with your surgeon to accomplish) it is NOT hard.

do this for yourself. its worth it - you're worth it!!

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thank you everyone.. Gayle.. you really hit home for me.. yes.. living like this is so hard.. feeling like hell and looking at a future that is awful.. I am so tired of hands full of pills.. and pain..

I called the doctor here at UPMC in Pittsburgh and I am going to a introduction meeting.. I will try to take it one step at a time.. I really need some hope.. otherwise I am worried about all the stuff you outlined.. that really does hit the spot...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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