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What has weight kept you from doing?



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I want us all to be able to use these examples as what we can look forward to doing/being able to do. What we will leave behind. I have had to stand on the side lines for so long, I am ready to join the game. I've been married for 17 years, my oldest daughter is 16,my youngest 9 and we've never taken a family potrait, because I refused.

I remember when my youngest was in the 1st grade, I picked her up from school one day and she told me one of her friends said " you're mom is nice but she's fat" My baby said so, my mommy is the most "beautifulest" mommy in the whole world even if she is fat. I was devastated. I never wanted to be an embarrasment to my children and if that is how kids thought of me I could only imagine what "grown folks" were saying.

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Well ladies I know, I mean I know there is hope... Just two short months ago I was locked in cigarette addiction as well as food addiction. The band has changed me, I don't crave cigaretts any more, I feel & look better and I work out daily...there really is no better feeling then how I feel right now....and I know its only going to get better.

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I look forward to running again. I want to feel the freedom I used to feel. Now I can barely jog without huffing and puffing. I want to wear "cute" clothes. I am really a hippie sort of by nature but I want to wear those cute dresses that everyone else can wear and it not look like a tent.

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Congratulations on making it to onederland Lana!!! I can't wait to join you...I hear it's onederful.

Thank you, I have worked hard and I am finally on the right path...:biggrin2:

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Tammy:

I too am so proud of all the young women who are trying to take control of their weight while they are still young.:biggrin2:

OMG, the things I have missed out on, the list is too long. I want to take pictures with my family, go out to eat and not have to worry if the chairs have arms or to sit in a booth. As a retired airline person I have life time travel benefits but don't travel because it is so uncomfortable in those small seats (I even have my own seatbelt extender).I can first first class, but that is much more expensive. :)

I would love to work for a while longer, but eventhough I have Master's degree and teachers credential, I feel I was not considered for jobs due to my excess weight(after my early retirement). I coudn't even get a job that was not customer contact and I feel it was because they think about the medical cost of hiring an older obese person.

I also want to wear beautiful clothes, ride on a roller coaster, go swimming and not feel self conscious. I avoid many social situation, unless it is with people I know. Go to see a play or concert and fit comfortably inmy own seat.;)

When my son was very young, if anyone called me fat he would say "my Mom is not fat she is fluffy." I am not his fluffy Mom now, he wants me to lose weight for my health.

Edited by TravelLady48

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Amen, Travel Lady!

For sometime, I have thought that health related conditions are the new frontier of discrimination. Everytime I flip on the tv or open a professional health care journal, African Americans are at increased risk for more negative health conditions than I can name. Many of them have their root in obesity. If an employer looks at you and figures you may cost the company increased healthcare premiums, time off, etc., well.....

You youngings reading this, word up! Obesity has long term effects over your life. This surgical intervention was not available for us at your age! So do what doctor says and embrace this help. But guess what? Better late than never! Me and Travel Lady gon strut!

Travel lady, we are still kicking and we will be healthy, we will be slim, we will live the life we were meant to, teaching, flying, and looking fierce! :biggrin2:

Tammygirl

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tammygirl and travellady yall must have some of lana new Orleans spices in yall because yall two sisters that r seasoned with more than age! I am rejoicing as I read your posts! Actually I feel a sense of pride! I know two of the fiercest sisters on the planet. We all have so much in common. Thank you for keeping me inspired!

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I know I hate having to wear a girdle with everything to keep the belly and thighs from jiggling!! It gets hot as hell in Texas, and I wanna be able to throw on a tank top and some shorts without worrying about it.

I really don't go out as much because of the weight or date much either. Admitedly, I have gotten more comfortable with myslef the last couple of years, but I know being fat holds me back from soooo much more.

I turned 29 a couple of months ago and I am trying to make it to 30 a little lighter!!!

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Weight has kept me from having adventure in my life... but its on its way! Watch out world

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Hmmmm, where do I start. It's kept me from crossing my legs, riding roller coasters at amusement parks which I LOVE to do, looking really cute and sexy, (although my husband tells me I do) I've never been able to really play with my daughter now 16 for which I feel guilty, I avoid business luncheons and dinners with my husband, I'm scared to death of going on another plane after having to ask for a seat belt extension. That was the most humiliating thing I've experienced. I actually had my husband go get it for me, but I already had people looking at the fact that I couldn't fasten the seat belt and pretty much broke out in a cold sweat from embarrassment. Need I go on. I am attending a seminar on Saturday and hope to be banded by September 08. Yall pray for me.

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hello let me see, i would love to bend down to tie my shoes,years ago we were all at the amusement park. everyone was waiting in line to get on the coaster, finally we got on an the bar would,nt click to close because of my stomach i had to get off the ride. an let someone else take my place how embrassing.an to walk by everyone that was still in line waiting for a turn.i just walk away.what an episode. i would love to cross my legs an be able to do a lot of active things in life.

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First and foremost, I'm doing it to be healthier. I would like to be at my ideal size before I have kids (I have plenty of time for that cuz I'm not in a serious relationship and I'm waiting till my 30's to have kids)

Then also I would love to wear the "cute" clothes also. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss Lane Bryant, but I would love to shop at stores like The Limited and Forever 21. Also to wear stilettos and not feel like I'm bout to break the heel..lol

I've never really been able to cross my legs, so that's something to look forward to

And I want to be SEXIER than I already am.:)

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It keeps me from doing everything~ Cant wait to start feeling like doing everything~

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I didnt realize I posted on the girlfriends of color. I am a pasty beigie white, does that count? I do read and enjoy your posts. Thanks for not slamming the door on me:tt1:

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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