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Last stage?



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I asked this elsewhere, but wanted a 'goal-ster' viewpoint: when do people forget your old self?

I'm getting -really- tired of every conversation with people eventually including something about my weight loss/eating/exercise/etc. I'm tired of coworkers still treating me as if I were 'fat and lazy' (not that I was ever lazy). I'm tired of being firmly in the 'friend zone'.

It's almost as if for most people, they're just sitting back waiting for the fatman to reappear.

I'm only a year out, so I'm guessing that this goes away after a while, but perhaps it doesn't. Maybe the next step is to move somewhere that people never knew that old me?

Thoughts?

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I have had this too. I am only 25 pounds from goal weight. I have family that is very supportive. And I just reassure myself, I did this for me, not for those people who think it will fail. hope that helps.

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I think you'll find that people do that until they feel they can let go of the support and back patting. They want to be supportive and show you how well you are doing and they don't really know where it should end themselves.

Just take it as intended and let it ride out. It will end.

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I agree with the comment to ride it out. Really it is all you can do and YOU will have the last laugh. I am at goal and have been there for many months.

I am just quietly hoping that no one will notice anymore. It gets tiring doesn't it?

Just carry on, nothing to see here.

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Hang in there fellow may bandster! I was reading your blog- do you think some of it (and this applies to me so I'm suggesting rather than 'diagnosing') has to do with the way you mentally feel about yourself?

I find that even though I've lost all this weight, I still feel fat and that has to come across to others in some way (I guess). Hopefully as I get more confident that I look externally good, that mental image will shift. I've noticed that I'm much more confident now than I have been in the past and its reflected back to me in my interactions with others. As we accept ourselves as normal weight/thin, maybe that will also come across?

anyway- you are HOT! (saw your photos) so don't be discouraged by people putting you in the friend category. It won't last long :thumbup:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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