How does/did your spouse react when you were in the process of getting the surgery?

[mphsmommy 0]

My husband is 100% supportive of me having the surgery, but I don't think he thinks I will go through with it deep down. He would never say that too me, but I just don't think he thinks I'll end up doing it. The other day I was talking about how I will be a completely different person when he comes home from Iraq and he was just like "ok". Maybe he hasn't grasped how this surgery will change my life. I don't know, I just don't understand him sometimes. LOL

[Long2BFree 12]

My husband has seen me struggle with my weight ever since we've known each other (23 yrs) and is 100% in support of me having this surgery.

Kelly, my husband always had the same reaction when I said that this time was my last time and I was going to lose my weight. He got to the point that he thought I would fail just like all the other times. However, with the band he feels like this is the last time.

Edited June 21, 2008 by Long2BFree

[mphsmommy 0]

Maybe that's what it is. He's seen me loose and gained it all back so many times he doesn't think it will really work. I was at 220 when we started dating, so he has never seen me smaller than that.

[Rivieramaya05 0]

I'm really sorry. Maybe that will motivate you even more to prove to him that you were serious!

My husband is 100% supportive. I even told him last night that I was worried he expected too much because sometimes it can take a while to find restriction. He just kept saying that he knew I was going to do great. The rest of my family is great too. My mom and sister decided to do my 2 week pre-op diet with me so I wouldn't feel alone. I feel very blessed for everyones support.

You can and will do it!

[auntlucy 22]

Maybe he just isn't quite sure what to say because he doesn't want you to think he's unhappy with you the way you are. He obviously loves you and doesn't want you to think you have to do this for him. Ultimately, this is for you!

If any of my experience with men holds true, you are probably thinking about it a whole lot more than he is.

[JRT Mom 920]

I was really scared to tell my husband when I was considering getting a band because he's really hospital/doctor/pain phobic (which is nuts, because he's an RN!) and he always transfers those fears to me--for example he doesn't like it when I donate blood.

Well, I brought it up over dinner one night. He wasn't happy about it, but he knew my weight was making my knees hurt all the time so while he hasn't been approving, he has been accepting, which is good enough for me!

[MacMadame 81]

I thought my husband was supportive until I started talking about details of how we are going to pay for it. It turns out he thinks it's a eye-roll worthy idea.

So screw him. (And not in the way he likes either.)

[mphsmommy 0]

We had discussed gastric bypass a couple years ago, but then a girl on base at Fort Drum had it done and she ended up dieing because her organs shut down on her after the surgery. She left behind a young daughter and unfortunately her husband was in Iraq when she died. That completely freaked dh out and he said no way you are having gastric bypass. For several months now I have been thinking about Lap Band surgery, but kept it to myself cause I was scared he would be against it too. I finally broke down and told him about a month and a half ago that I wanted to do it and the first thing he said was "You know I love you the way you are right?". :smile: Of course I know that and I told him it's something I wanna do for myself, to feel better about myself and to be a healthy mother and wife. After I explained it to him, he said he was fine with me having it if it's what I want, he said he don't want me doing it for him. So, he has been great and watched dd while I have gone to the seminar and class. I just don't think it's sunk in that I will loose weight and keep it off this time. :redface:

[Cota129 0]

My husband is very supportive, but doesn't say alot. All he said when I told him what I was doing was "I'm glad you made that decision. I worry about you." For him to say that much is pretty good. He doesn't make a lot of comments now, but will say how different I feel and yesterday he said "Hey!! I can pick you up now!" He's a man of few words, but I know he's really happy with my decision.

[MacMadame 81]

I have to take back what I said about Mr. Mac. We talked today about it and he was even willing for us to take out a SMALL home equity loan and willing to pay up to 20K for it.

Before he was saying we couldn't afford it and I should try dieting again and blah blah blah. I think he's realized that his big deal is with surgery in general and that I'm really going to go through with it so it's not worth whining.

Plus normally he's a great husband and very supportive so not being supportive is something he has trouble maintaining for very long. :redface:

[HeatherO 7]

My husband was very supportive but he was also a little skeptical that it would really work. He said he would stand behind me as long as the personal risk to my health was not too great and that it would not have an effect on the ability to have a baby in the near future.

He was with me all the way, could not have been better with the support. However, he has since told me that he was not sure if the surgery would really work but now he is convinced since I have had such great success so far.

[Cate18 0]

My husband (whew...sounds weird to say that since we just got married a few weeks ago, and I'm still getting used to HAVING a husband) is now fully on board for the idea of surgery. I think it helps that his mom had a RNY procedure. It helps that she has prepared him for what his contribution to the life style change will be, and his dad can attest to how their life/relationship changed. So in that respect it's helpful having her experience.

At first we had a heart to heart about it, and he told me how he was feeling. When we have these "straight talk" convos, we tell each other what we really think. Not directed in a mean way. He told me that he was unsure if it would be successful for me. He didn't think I would be able to give up the munching, and thought that I would eat less, but still choose high calorie foods. He thought I could hold on for a few weeks like my other diets, but that ultimately I would fall into old habits. I'm not sure what changed his mind, but two months later he was completely up for it. Maybe it was the success I had when I took phentermine and it took away my appetite. So maybe what that convo really did was to reinforce the idea in my head that I wasn't going to let that happen, because I wasn't going to let his bad predictions come true.

I'll let you all know how it turns out if I finally get insurance approval !

[midwestchickie 0]

I just told my dh about a week ago and he is supportive, but I feel like he secretly thinks I should do this on my own. He is also very worried that i want to do this in Mexico. After having the initial talk with him, I'm finding it hard to discuss, because I wonder if he secretly doesn't really approve. He has told me that my health and wellbeing are most important to me and that if I've decided to do this, then he is with me all the way.

[Bea1128 1]

Over the years DH and I have talked about WLS as being a negative thing. I thought that it was something I would never be willing to do. I was afraid I'd have to give up too much. He didn't think it would be a good idea either. Then last year a friend had it done and I finally started looking at it seriously. I thought about it for a year and did my research. A friend of DH had it done in January. It was when she was getting ready that I finally broke down and told him I was seriously thinking about it. Up until then I had been afraid to tell him because I knew how he felt about it. His first reaction was "are you serious?". I explained to him that the benefits of loosing my weight for good far outweigh the sacrifices. I finally decided that if I had to give up soda (or anything carbonated) it was a really small price to pay for health and happiness. I told him how much I despised myself for not being able to keep the weight off and that I was miserable. I finally admitted that I needed help and could not do it alone. I think he was skeptical for a while. He got on board though and has been 100% behind me. He's been wonderfully supportive. He always makes sure I can eat whatever it is that he's about make or before going to the store. His mom told me that while telling her about my surgery that he said he just wanted me to be happy and if this is what it took, then so be it. :crying: He also sees that it's not such a sacrifice. Sure there are certain things I can no longer eat like chicken and french fries, but I can live with that. He always got tired of chicken anyway because I was always trying to diet! :ohmy: All in all, it's been the best decision I've made for myself and I would do it all again! I'm blessed to have friends and family who are so supportive of my decision.