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I am sorry for opening the can of worms that I did. I am a newbie (obviously) and I didn't realize where I was posting my comment/where I was reading the comments. Now I know. I am so proud of everyone who is near/at their goal weight. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and I can't wait until I am at my goal weight. I guess my comments still fit in the "rants and raves" section because I was ranting about how we should support one another, but there is lots of that elsewhere.

I think it is hard to judge/read into others comments because it is just text, no body language or a difference in tone. Congrats again to those at their goal, good luck to other newbies and those working towards their goals. =)

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I feel as if here is where I must admit I ate about half a block of chocolate yesterday and no dinner!

Oh, can you send a Violet Crumble my way? It's been a rough week and I LOVE Violet Crumbles! :angry:

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What is a violet crumble

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is it plain chocolate or does it have like violet taste to it or something o.O

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LOL - google it and you'll see a picture of it. Violet was the favorite color of the creator's wife.

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oh but why is it called crumbles chocolate doesnt crumble o.O

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I absoultly agree with you!!!, There is a lady here near where I live that 2 weeks after surgery ate KFC fried chicken and had to go to the emergency room to have it removed and she couldent understand the problem. Talk about issues. HELLO!!!

Follow the rules!!!

Connie

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Falling off the wagon isnt the real problem, its picking yourself back up that makes all the difference. For which, I really dont understand why we need thousands of posts about this. Just do it people. Say to yourself "I shouldnt have done that" and move on.

Its what I do and yeah, it does work!

But not everyone is there. Some people are still in a destructive place where following off the wagon is not just making a mistake but an indication that you are not worthwhile as a person. food is "good" and "bad" and your food choices make you "good" or "bad".

The way I got out of that place was to absolutely stop dieting. I quit it cold turkey about 3 years ago and started working on repairing my relationship with food. I was hoping if I did that, I would lose weight -- pretty slowly probably -- but it would happen because I was listening to my body.

Unfortunately, my body is full of ghrelin and what it says is YOU'RE HUNGRY! So when I listen to it, I hover around 220-223. Then, this WLS journey I've started on is constantly trying to suck me back into the dieter's mentality where all your self-worth is tied up in food and your own food choices.

I think it's pretty difficult for people who have been dieting all their adult life and still think of dieting as being a good thing that people who care about themselves do to make themselves healthy, to shut off those voices in their heads telling themselves they are bad because they ate something bad. There is a fine line between following the rules -- something that is essential for WLS to work --and defining yourself by what you eat. Not everyone stays on the right side of the line and I think that's understandable.

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But not everyone is there. Some people are still in a destructive place where following off the wagon is not just making a mistake but an indication that you are not worthwhile as a person. food is "good" and "bad" and your food choices make you "good" or "bad".

The way I got out of that place was to absolutely stop dieting. I quit it cold turkey about 3 years ago and started working on repairing my relationship with food. I was hoping if I did that, I would lose weight -- pretty slowly probably -- but it would happen because I was listening to my body.

Unfortunately, my body is full of ghrelin and what it says is YOU'RE HUNGRY! So when I listen to it, I hover around 220-223. Then, this WLS journey I've started on is constantly trying to suck me back into the dieter's mentality where all your self-worth is tied up in food and your own food choices.

I think it's pretty difficult for people who have been dieting all their adult life and still think of dieting as being a good thing that people who care about themselves do to make themselves healthy, to shut off those voices in their heads telling themselves they are bad because they ate something bad. There is a fine line between following the rules -- something that is essential for WLS to work --and defining yourself by what you eat. Not everyone stays on the right side of the line and I think that's understandable.

THANK YOU!!!!!! Nanook:thumbup:

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I am sorry for opening the can of worms that I did. I am a newbie (obviously) and I didn't realize where I was posting my comment/where I was reading the comments. Now I know. I am so proud of everyone who is near/at their goal weight. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and I can't wait until I am at my goal weight. I guess my comments still fit in the "rants and raves" section because I was ranting about how we should support one another, but there is lots of that elsewhere.

I think it is hard to judge/read into others comments because it is just text, no body language or a difference in tone. Congrats again to those at their goal, good luck to other newbies and those working towards their goals. =)

You didnt open a can of worms, dont worry. This was simmering in other threads and I didnt mean to single you out, its just that if you wonder why sometimes people arent just supportive like you would expect, there's frustrations there that lead to that.

Its not your fault in any way and I did hijack the thread a bit so dont worry.

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McMadame, I stopped dieting too, and it worked brilliantly for me.

I'd tried it before, and been quite successful. I really did diet myself fat. But I knew that portion size/appetite was a problem and that I needed a lapband to control that. The combination of a lapband and never ever dieting again was what I needed. That and the exercise.

The other thing I've found I've achieved this time is that I dont connect exercise with dieting. Its not a chore or a punishment I have to do for being fat. I dont only run when I'm being good, its totally unconnected to my eating. I'm not sure why that clicked with me this time. It just did. So I will still run even though I've eaten badly that day or whatever.

I do think that avoiding dieting behaviour is a very effective tactic for lots of overweight people, I'm one of the ones that the minute you say diet, I"m thinking "what can I eat". Its actually quite hard work to learn to moderate your attitude towards foods like chocolate or cake or whatever your thing is, its very scary to allow yourself to eat them.

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I really did diet myself fat.

Sometimes I think that if I never went on that first diet back at age 13, I would never be where I am today.

Then I look at my parents and my sibs and I realize I'm probably fooling myself. :thumbup:

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Oh I agree with that! Since I was about 14 I started "dieting" and I have to say that it sets you up for failure. Whenever I was about to start a "diet" I would start feeling miserable, figuring I would fail at it. I'd start dwelling on the foods that I couldn't eat and eventually "cheating" with them.

It's not until I said "no" to dieting and accepting that I need to live a healthier lifestyle that I started to feel in control of my eating habits. I don't say "no" to chocolate, I just say "yes" less frequently and in smaller amounts.

BTW, a Violet Crumble is a chocolate covered nougat thing except the nougat is really fluffy and crunchy. I can't compare it to anything in the US. It's like a cross between a butterfinger and a milky way. It's got the crunch of a butterfinger but the flavor of a milky way. YUMMY! My friend from Sydney occasionally sends me a few of them and some Pollywaffles (the names are hilarious, aren't they?)

I found out you can order them on Amazon. I said I'd treat myself when I get to goal.

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mmm sounds good I want some LOL candy is evil thoughhhhhhhhhhh but i want some...mmm hehe

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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