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Spouse at Consultation...



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I have one of two consultations tomorrow...yippee...anyway, I have a question. Did you bring your spouse with you to the consultations? I am not planning on having my husband at the consultations, but I do plan on having him attend a seminar (which is required by one of the treatment centers). What is your opinion on this? Thanks

Margo

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I go to the monthly seminar and see lots of spouses. That seems like a fine idea. I'd be less interested in having my spouse at the consultation, though--some things should stay private and my pre-op weight was one of those things. :D

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If your hubby wants to go - let him!

The only reason mine couldnt come with me & because he had to stay with the little ones (babysit).

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Since we are both going to be banded we had our consultations together. If I was doing this by myself i would have asked Dh to come. If he had any questions he could have also have the chance to ask them. Also sometimes we don't remember everything so another set of ears helps

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I think it is up to each person, some feel more comfortable with the spouse there and others don't. I wouldn't have minded either way, but since my DH was working he didn't attend, but I brought all the papers home and we discussed them together afterwards.

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My DH doesn't get into that sort of thing, he's very supportive, but mention doctors or hospitals or needles, he'll pass out on ya.

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I did not have him go with me.

He felt since it was for me he would be a distraction with his questions. I would go over what we talked about with him when I got home.

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My doctor required that you bring in your spouse or whoever was going to be your closest support person. I think that was a good idea because it gave my husband a chance to ask those questions of concern he had in the back of his mind. I am glad he went because then it gave us an opportunity to jointly think of other questions we had concerning the process. Also, I have no secrets from my husband, I would have been disappointed if he had not gone with me.

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Thanks for the input.....I asked my husband to go to the seminar with me and he said he would, but in the next breathe he said it would probably be "boring"! I just think he wishes he could muster up the courage to have the surgery too...

Margo

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I didn't go to the consultation or the seminar with my DH when he had his band. I did go to one of the "Soup Nights" support goup nights, but I was quickly overwhelmed and had a panic attack. :D My DH wanted to do this on his own.

I didn't go to any of the seminars. In my case, I wouldn't have learned anything about at the seminar because my DH had been such a model patient. He did go with me to my consultation. He offered to not go, but I couldn't imagine him not going through the process with me.

We have a very open relationship. (No Delarla, not THAT kind of open relationship :D) I tell him about all the boys that flirt with me when I go to frat parties... He even knows how much I weighed at my highest.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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