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i am definitely having the last meal syndrome..

so i went to my weight loss clinic consult today. it was my first appt seeing the weight doctor. i was weighed, and measured. 299.5lbs by their scale, 45 bust, 42 waist, 57 hips. yes, i am shaped like a pear, lol. but i got my blood taken and everything. so next friday i am going to talk with the actual doctor about my lab results and get my weight medication. i asked the nurse today about lapband, and she told me to weight to talk to the actual doctor on friday.

anyway, today has very been emotional. i got fired today from my job. i am devastated because i loved my job. i am a special education teacher. so today i've done very badly and have totally eaten emotionally. i've eaten a cheese danish, a reese's cup, a hershey bar, 2 small bags of sour cream & onion chips, a medium bag of salt and vinegar chips, a foot long tuna fish sub, some milano Cookies, and COUNTLESS numbers of cups of grape soda.

why do we eat emotionally? we know better!

For me, this is how I understand why I turn to food...

Some people are alcoholics, some are drug addicts. Some people are addicted to shopping and others have OCD. Everyone has something that they are in control of (or think they are in control of) and for me it's food. Food is my "medicine." It's not good medicine, but neither is heroine, OCD meds, alcohol, or $10000 credit card bills. It's not right, but it's done. Now, this is my rehab. I will struggle with this for the rest of my life. I have an addiction to food, and while I'm grieving over having to let it go, I have to constantly remind myself that I'm gaining something much more valuable. LIFE! --- a life for my future children, my husband, family, (hopefully) grandchildren, friends, etc.

LOL --- that doesn't change that I have "last meal syndrome" and will probably have it 12 more times before my surgery! I don't know whether to laugh it off, cry, be disgusted, or just accept it. :blushing:

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Tara, sorry to hear about your job. =( Hope you find another one you like even more. We all have ups and downs. Just put this day behind you and look forward to the next. =)

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Tara, sorry to hear about your job. =( Hope you find another one you like even more. We all have ups and downs. Just put this day behind you and look forward to the next. =)

thanks. i keep telling myself it's a bump in the road and God has a reason for everything, even though we may not see the reason off the bat.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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