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Three years...and starting over.



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TS, this forum is helping me so I don't feel like a loser since I went through all the work of getting a lap-band and not using it as intended. It's nice to see that other people understand that nothing is cut and dry nor works on the first attempt. As they say, sh!t happens and you need to move forward. TS, as long as we keep trying, that is all we can do. Better late then never!!

"The first and most important step toward success is the feeling that we can succeed."

-- Nelson Boswell

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I am living for my fill next week. Now that plastic surgery is imminent, I budgeted for it, I've got my last 2 consults before scheduling it, I find my food addiction is rearing its head again.

I was horrendous over the weekend...I wasn't bothered by the pizza I ate on Sunday, but yesterday I ate another calzone, and then went to Baskin Robbins to get a small chocolate shake. Which as you know, is 16 ounces of ice cream milk and fat. Yes, it was delicious. Yes, I hammered the whole thing and could have eaten more.

I'm disappointed in the total gluttony of yesterday. I haven't done that in a long time...I was alone, and wanted to eat alone...I just had gotten Aunt Flo, too, so I was crampy and watery-eyed :) Complete emotional eating. The previous week I'd had Hooters wings, too. Usuaully it's once a week I'm falling off the wagon (or just deciding to eat some damned delicious food!) but I feel like since I'm facing the "end" of weight loss, I'm FLINGING myself off.

Anyone else get like that?

Today I'm prepared with yogurt, cherries, Fiber fortified applesauce and walnuts to clean me out and get my stomach to shrink. I had minor restriction yesterday so I don't know if its cause of Aunt Flo or if I really DO have a small leak. I was hungry and seemed a bottomless pit!

Then again, I wonder if it's because of the psychological implications of getting plastic surgery, and not having the excuse of "oh I'm not finished yet"...like I'm subconsciously delaying the end.

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I hear what you're saying Kate....about subconsciously sabatoging yourself. I think this is what I go through. And I thought I did all the psychological work as to why I emotionally eat but yet my subcoscious takes over.

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I've been post surgery for 12 months and have lost 20 kilos (44 pounds) and have another 22 pounds to go which is difficult to get off because I have a lot of pain eating anything acidy, salty or too fibrous. The acid burn can be so painful I find myself eating ice cream to soothe it. Not very nutritious but happens a lot when I make a wrong food choice. Even some Soups hurt a lot. Anyone else experienced this?

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I was banded in July '06. I took a long time to get the fills right and I didn't really get "with it" and serious about going for fills until Sept of the next year (long story - mostly to do with money, etc). But now I have tons of restriction and that's my problem. I am totally stuck, I can't lose weight no matter what I do. I live on Water, Soup, veggies, a little bit of Protein mostly from Peanut Butter because I throw up everything else. I walk 3+ miles EVERY DAY and I have been doing this religiously. I am 50 years old, I have lost only 47 lbs since this was done. I hardly eat anything. How the HELL can I not be losing?? Do NOT say that I'm over-filled because I would just go back to eating again since I really do miss it so much. Eating is not even fun anymore, I dread meals because I know if I hurry I'll be in the bathroom. food is not joy anymore, it's pain. I just don't know what to do. I wish I had gotten the stupid gastric bypass now. My stomach doesn't even feel like mine anymore, I used to be able to diet and lose my stomach but now it's just there... Help! I'm so sad and frustrated at this point. I don't know if I should have had this done or not! :thumbup:

Started at 257... "down" to 210... don't know if I'll ever see the 100's again in my life... I mean, it's been 2 freakin' years now!!!!

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Hi Andi...wow you sound frustrated!

First of all, you did get the band done, so let's focus on a solution :thumbup: It is a fantastic tool, but it's very individual with everyone, so we need to figure out what's going on with yours.

The fact that you're throwing up after every meal is not a good thing. It's unhealthy to keep aggravating your esophagus with your stomach acid, it's a strain on your system to throw up, and no healthy person should ever be living on what you say you're eating. The way you are currently existing with your band is unhealthy.

If you're not forgetting any high calorie foods that could be stalling your weight loss, then with all your exercise and eating you're in starvation mode. You can be heavy and be malnourished - and I'm very very concerned for your nutrition right now...

The first step is to take deep breaths and know that you CAN fix this problem. This is fixable. Part of it will take an attitude adjustment, a willingness to do the things you don't want to do in order to get better. Like consider a small unfill. You will not pig out, you will learn how to balance. You have to at least try, and stop running the mental tape that says "I love food too much I'll eat and eat and eat I can't do it I can't do it" Of COURSE you'd fail, you keep programming yourself to!

It sounds like you've never had a healthy balance of band restriction and hunger, so of course you're flipping out and saying you don't want to be unfilled (because you don't trust yourself).

But you definitely need a doctor's care.

If you don't want an unfill, start by making a appointment with your doctor. If she insists on unfilling you, let her. If you go back a month later and have gained, she will fill you. That's how this works - you have to surrender to the process, sister! :tt2:

You're making yourself nuts by believing you can never get control of food. You CAN. Just not alone. So go see your doctor, start logging the food you're eating - all of it - and when you throw up. It's a simple game of numbers, Andi...you're either under calories or over calories, and the band is the belt. You can't continue this way!

Email / PM me if you want. I really want to know how you do!!

{{HUGS}}

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I've been post surgery for 12 months and have lost 20 kilos (44 pounds) and have another 22 pounds to go which is difficult to get off because I have a lot of pain eating anything acidy, salty or too fibrous. The acid burn can be so painful I find myself eating ice cream to soothe it. Not very nutritious but happens a lot when I make a wrong food choice. Even some Soups hurt a lot. Anyone else experienced this?

Syd, I get that pain if I drink a glass of wine. By the end of the glass, it hurts. But it doesn't hurt before then. I would mention it to your doctor...you might have an ulcer (but I'm no doctor so don't go by what I say). My friend had them regularly and milk/dairy soothed it.

Salty's no good anyway, you retain tons of water!

If you're having acid reflux/heartburn and it's aggravated by certain foods, try drinking a mug of warm Water with a little lemon in it. Yes, lemon! Believe it or not acid reflux is caused by your stomach not having enough acid in it, and it gets very alkaline and causes the bubbling flare ups. I drink that when I'm feeling burpy and acidy and unhappy - usually soothes my stomach right down.

If you're fine until you eat those foods, I'd worry about something going on in your stomach. Either way, call your doc.

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Andi,

Don't get discouraged! I can only tell you what has worked for me It sounds like your not taking in enough calories. My nutritionist got a big kiss from me when she told me that I wasn't eating enough. Your body goes into a survival mode when the calories aren't coming in. And water... you have to be drinking the Water. Recently there has been many of my fellow bansters that have tried the 5 Day Pouch test to rediscover their pouch. The website is Surgical Weight Loss 5 Day Pouch Test

You can try this, I made about 6 attempts until I finally completed it. It's hard but if you stick to it you will realize your pouch again. Hang in there, you have come a long way don't give up. I have had my share of ups and downs but every morning I wake up and say " Start again!!!" Good luck and try the pouch test if you can.:thumbup:

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shoresexy thanks for that link!! OMG that's awesome! The fact that I can still eat most breads bugs me...I'm going to try to get back to newbie feeling :thumbup:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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