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Confession of an emotional eater/food addict



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I only have mild restriction but if I eat the wrong food or eat too quickly, I get stuck. I have noticed quite a few times that I can be walking around with this terribly uncomfortable feeling of being stuck and I'm thinking about what I can eat next. What?! Am I insane?! I'm stuck because I'm engaging in some bad habit (such as soft bread or rice, eating too fast, eating after I am full) and I can't wait to eat the next fattening, artery clogging, sloth making mouthful. Before the band, I didn't really think that I was an emotional eater. Going through the process of approval made me consider certain things. The psych doctor asked me if I hid my eating. No, of coarse not. Then I realized that I wait til my husband leaves before I have that bowl of ice cream etc. I noticed that if I questioned myself about if I should eat something that sometimes I would hurry up and eat it as if I was afraid I would talk myself out of it. When I got mad I would eat. When I don't want to think, I eat. Its harder to think about uncomfortable things when you are shoving food into your mouth. I have a lot of uncomfortable things to think about. Things from the past that don't matter to anyone but sure hold me back. Insecure feelngs of not being good enough. Now I just lost my job and my daughter won't let me see my newborn grandson because of some stupid insignificant fight we had. I thought about going to see a counselor to share some of this but I know that I will cry and then I will feel ashamed and weak for crying. It aint easy being green. I was beginning to have some pride about my exercise efforts since my lap band. Now I realize this huge area I need to work on that is probably more important than exercise. I know this probably seems indulgent to be taking up space but I thought there might be other people out there who haven't admitted to themselves that theres more of a problem than eating too much and exercising too little.

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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