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I was at a friends house last night for dinner. They had tacos and I brought with me a bowl of Mexican Meatball Soup. Just drank the broth part(wow a whole 1/2c maybe) That wasnt the problem. One of my husbands friends was saying I was looking good and asked me how much I have lost so far. I said 14 lbs. Then him and the husband of the friend I was visiting gave one another high 5 and said "You owe me, man!" They were making bets on my weightloss!. I found that really offensive. I just tried to talk about something else. Just need to vent. If I talk to my husband about it he'll say I am too sensitive.:biggrin:

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Try to think of it as a compliment. I mean they find you important enough to make wagers on.

That reminded me of when my DH and I got married, the fella's at his work made a betting pool on how long we would be together. I was this >< close to getting in on the bet and saying 10 years ... I woulda won too, 10 years this past feb'.

Anyhow, back on subject. Don't take it personally, guys will be guys and they do weird things like this. Everything is a competition to some men *shrugs*. Next time it comes up just counter it with a look to your hubby and say "Don't you owe me dinner out now, the bet was frank would ask first"...... Turn the tables in your favor dear, make them realize how retarded they are being.

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No problem!! I am quite the card in our 'group of friends' and I am generally the one that calls people on there stupidity in interesting ways that gets everyone (even the offending idiot) laughing but it all makes them think about what they (or that person) did.

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Men can be pigs bunkey and do things that women will take offense to. I would take it with a grain of salt. Take that he said u look good as a compliment. Just mention to ur husband that u dont appreciate that his friends are making bets on u and leave it at that..just dont make a big deal out of it. Let it roll off ur shoulder. Given some time u are gonna be one hot momma.

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At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

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Just laugh it off! Men will be men. I think it is great they are talking about your weight loss! :biggrin2: Your hard work is paying off.

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At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. I completely feel your pain though. I married my jerk boyfriend, and now he is my jerk husband. I love him to death but he says the meanest things sometimes...

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If men stopped saying stupid things they'd probably say all of about 10 words a day - I work with a football team and some of the crap that comes out of their mouths just amazes me - you just have to laugh and give it back to them - mostly their comments are harmless fun and they don't mean anything by it.

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At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

Oh man if that was a boyfriend of mine he'd have lost a whole lot more than just me. And because I can be a vindictive witch I'd have chosen his point of sensitivity and somehow publicly embarrassed him with it. I'd actually probably plan it for years. (I'm terrible sometimes). I'm extremely sensitive, though, especially with men and my weight and most especially with the two of them together.

I promise I'm actually a very sweet and kind person (too sweet and kind for my own good usually) 99.9% of the time but I guess that tiny .1% needs to be vicious to kind of balance me out? I don't know. All I know is that my "bad side" is a terrible place to be and the few people who've made it there have never gotten off of it.

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At least you don't have a jerk for a husband/boyfriend like I do. I didn't tell my boyfriend I got banded (we have a long distance relationship). I have told him I lost 27 pounds since Feb. His response? "How much more do you have to lose? 400?" and then he laughs. I've lost a lot of respect for him....and he's lost me. Can't wait to show him the new me in 6 months!

You definitely don't need HIM in your life.

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Marketing 101 -- to hold most male interest, it has to be competition. Think of TV shows or networks that might not typically cater to men (style, gardening, food, etc.) and chances are that in the last 5 or so years, there has been a HUGE increase in competition-based shows to try and bring in the male viewers. It doesn't matter what the subject is, if it's a competition you can get the average guy to pay attention. Guys need a "team" to "root" for, or some sense of "winning" over someone else, etc.

So try to see it as their way of being interested, even if it's second-hand. They are guys, after all... :biggrin:

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I am sorry the guys did that to you, but totally agree with the others that it was not really meant as a diss to you, but people bet on weird things. I don't think it was a "retarded" thing to do, as I have worked with special needs people for 28 years and have NEVER once known any of them to bet on anything or on purpose be rude to someone. It was not a nice thing to do, but maybe we should not throw out labels to degrade people, Lord knows we have had it done to us for years and we don't like it. That being said, I think turning the tables on the fellas like was suggested is a grand idea, one I will remember.

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I was at a friends house last night for dinner. They had tacos and I brought with me a bowl of Mexican Meatball Soup. Just drank the broth part(wow a whole 1/2c maybe) That wasnt the problem. One of my husbands friends was saying I was looking good and asked me how much I have lost so far. I said 14 lbs. Then him and the husband of the friend I was visiting gave one another high 5 and said "You owe me, man!" They were making bets on my weightloss!. I found that really offensive. I just tried to talk about something else. Just need to vent. If I talk to my husband about it he'll say I am too sensitive.:tongue:

Who told them that you had a procedure done in the first place.. I think that was rude if u didn't tell them and your husband told them and u didn't. It was rude for them to high five and say u owe me. What a looser...:biggrin: Most of the time guys don't think before they act. What a guy... Most of their thinking level is still at age 16...

Edited by mstrina27

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Next time you have sex, call up your girlfriend and say "You owe me $10", then don't tell him what you had bet on.

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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