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Anyone not told thier kids about their lapband?



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Has anyone not told thier kids about their lapband surgery? I'd like to not tell my kids. I don't want them to think they could eat anything they want and think they could just get surgery when they grow up.

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How old are your kids? If they are really young, it isn't necessary - and they won't even remember when they get bigger. If they are teenagers . . . they will know something is up. I guess it depends on how old they are.

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I have not told anyone. My wife knows, but that is it. I just tell people that I get heartburn if I eat too early in the morning, and in the evening I might mention that I am not all that hungry. People don't pay much attention. My own mother had her stomach stapled about 10 years ago. I eat with her all the time, and she is clueless. Just figure out what you can eat most easily, and order that if you have too. Also, don't order or make yourself a huge meal.

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I am actually one who told my children about 1 month ago.. I just had my band placed on Monday.. My children are 10, 14 and 16 and they dont think that at all.. They know Ive struggled with my weight for many years and they have seen me diet and do all the other things that I think many of us have done over time..

I dont feel the need to hide anything from my children.. They know the reasons why I have done what I have done and are behind me..

Now coworkers, no.. They dont need to know as they have nothing to do with my personal life.. Only my family and my closest friends know..

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I was just banded on Thursday, and I have only told my husband and my one daughter(who is 23 and lives with me). I did not tell her until the night before surgery. I have not told ANYONE else, not my son, not my mother, sisters or friends. I want to get a handle on this and see how it goes, before I tell anyone. I am not planning on going out to dinner with any of them this week, so that shouldn't be a problem. But, if I did I would suggest we go to a deli, so I could have plain chicken Soup broth--and then tell them my stomach is upset and not very hungry.

Don't know how long I can keep it a secret...But I need this time for myself at this point. I am not ready to answer everyone else's questions, asking, why, where, am I hungry, how much have I lost, etc.

cc

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hi my name is sill i haven,t told my young adults yet my son is 19 my daughter is 17 she already knows she also went to a seminar with me to take an ask questions she is a delight to have

she,s also is in the 11th grade an doing well i might add

:tt1::thumbup::Dancing_wub::Dancing_wub:

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I told Thing One (21 year old son) and Thing Two (17 year old daughter), and they've just taken it in stride.

Of course, I have had health concerns for just about all their lives because I have Crohn's Disease and they're used to that. Thing One said I've been through more invasive stuff, so he's not worried.

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Thanks for starting this thread. I was banded on 4/30 and have struggled with whether to share my surgery with my children. Their ages are 25, 22, 19 and 15. The 19 and 15 year olds are home right now. They both struggle with their weight. I don't want them to feel I've taken the easy way out and that they have no hope with managing their own weight without surgery. My daughter, 19 I think is a bit suspicious. So far I've told them I had exploratory surgery to look at this lump in my side, which is true. The surgeon did look at it to make sure it was fine before putting on the band. Anyway...I'm so conflicted. We are a very honest and open family and I don't like hiding this from them, but I'm afraid what message it might send them.

Beth

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My 13 year old son has watched me struggle. He watched me work hard a few years ago and lose 90 pounds..only to gain most of it back. He is very supportive, though is concerned that I may not follow the rules at all times (MY MO)

But I told everyone at school. (I am a teacher.) They are all so wonderfully supportive. They sent me flowers and cards and gave me a gift card to the local grocery....

I hate hiding things..guess its the ex Catholic in me..always going to confession!

Cindi

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I did not tell my boys (2, 8, and 11). They know I had surgery and they visited me in the hospital, but we told them I just had my stomach "fixed". My oldest child is overweight and I really don't want to put ideas in his head that he can eat whatever he wants. I am still working hard with getting him to eat right, smaller quantities, etc.

Most of my friends and family know, and of course my husband knows.

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my kids are 4 and 9. I also needed to have a hernia repaired so I just told them about the hernia. I have been dieting since the beginning of the year and lost close to 30lbs before the surgery so they really are not connecting the dots. I did not lie just did not provide any additional infromation. They both eat more than me and are thin. I have had food issues all my life and really don't want to pass it on to my kids.

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Hi All -

I decided not to tell my boys, 4, 6 & 8. First, I don't want them telling anyone, which as well as know children have a very innocent way of letting things slip out. Secondly - I didn't want them thinking this was the easy way out. I did tell them I had to go to the doctor and he had to check my belly because I always get heartburn. I had to tell them something - I am the very active Dad and the boys are always jumping all over me. I let them see the incisions and they were very concerned I was OK. There biggest thing is wanting to know when we can wrestle again.....

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I have two boys one 11 and one three. the eleven year old is also over weight and I did not tell him. Trying to get him to eat right and exercise, Do not want him to think I took the easy way out. My mom and my husband know that's it. Have not told anyone else not even my best friend. No one att work knows none of their business.I want to let this work before I tell people.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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