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Falling off the Wagon - slipping into the old "comfort zone"



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Right into the DANGER ZONE (from one of my favorite movies - Top Gun).

I have been soooooooo FOCUSED since surgery. NOTHING was going to stop me from reaching my goal!!! And right now I'm halfway there; but need your help to get back on track!!!

I am falling back into my old habits....falling off the wagon fast and I think I know why! Now that I know the WHY, I need your help to find out HOW to stop it!!! Is anyone else is in the same boat. Is this typical after about 6 months?

The answer to the WHY is that I have lost between 60-70 pounds in the past but have always gained it back. I was at this same point many times; but then people would say "oh how good you look", or "you don't need to lose more weight do you??", or "you're starting to look too skinny"...and slowly I start to slip back into my old habits. Slowly the pounds I've lost start to find me again.

This time it HAS TO BE DIFFERENT!!! I have lost 69 pounds and am at a standstill. Is it happening again? Am I doomed yet again to gain it back slowly?

I know what I need to do....I need to start over again from the beginning...back to the basics...back to the beginning the 2 weeks before surgery. Need to push awway these demons again as I did in September while preparing to be banded the following month.

I NEED YOUR HELP!!! Have you gone through this? Are you going through this??? What did you do to get back on track? I CAN do this because I've priven it!!!

Don't let me be swallowed into the trap of mindless eating, nibbles here and there, bad food choices, wring portions, we all know what the pitfalls are. We're not perfect and it didn;t take ups overnight to get here. Take me back to September of 2004, when I was bound and determined to not let it happen to me again! Wh said it would be easy? Who said we would NEVER gain weight? I haven't so far....HELP me keep it that way!!! Email me, post here, call me, whatever you can do to slap some sense into me!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nancy

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Nancy I can so relate, I have been struggling for the past month but this past week I seem to have gotten my focus back. I have done so well with my Water and my food choices, I really expect to see a loss this week. I do think it is typical to become complacent once you have reached your halfway point, I know it is true for me.. getting back to basic is what has helped me, I also set a small goal each week, this week was NO chocolate and so far Iam reaching that goal :( I have purged all of the crap food from my system with tons of Water, I feel so much more alert and more energized when I make better food choices. I have really focused on the basics this week, Protein first, water, low carbs,

You are ahead of the game if you say in your post you know why you have fallen off the wagon, that is half the battle. You know what to do, its a matter of doing it. Many of us here know what you are feeling, COme on Nancy, you have come this far, you can do this, call me if you would like, we can get through this tough time together. I think for me my focus has been summer is coming and it will be shorts, bathing suits and cute capris weather ..this will be the first summer I am looking forward to wearing summer clothes in years. Maybe you can set small weekly goals for yourself and just take it one day at a time, once that goal is achieved incorporate another goal for the following week, that is what I am doing and so far it is working. One of my goals is I do not allow myself to eat any food in the morning until I have drunk 32 oz' of water, seems to help flush me out and curb my appetite for when I do sitedown to eat. My other goal is no chocolate this week. I'm 2 for 2 and it is Friday!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! GET BACK TO BASICS!!!

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You can do it Nancy, make good food choices NOW, not tomorrow, start now. As I'm typing this, I'm telling myself to stay in control. I went for a bit of an unfill today and I stopped on the way home and got almost a half a pound of egg salad, and ate the entire thing! But it was soooo good. I hadn't been able to keep anything down since last Wed a week ago, but now it's back to self control and it IS so hard. Summer's coming and I want to be able to wear shorts that don't ride up between my legs, goal #2. I met my 1st goal this week the 30 lb mark.

YOU CAN DO IT.....FOCUS! GOOD food CHOICES, Water, GOOD FOOD CHOICES AND MORE WATER!

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Okay, this is the "FOREVER" part coming to bite you. Bear in mind, this is advice from an unbanded person who has gained 30 pounds since October - WAAAHHH!!!

My advice to us both... lol

1. This is NOT a diet - this really really really really is FOREVER. Our eating habits will have to change forever.

2. In the end, our lifestyle changes canNOT be about losing weight - because once we have lost the weight, there will be no motivation to continue with our healthy habits. At some point, we will no longer have the scale moving downward to motivate us. And we certainly don't want to wait for the scale to move UPWARD(:eek!) to regain motivation! (Trust me on THIS one!!! lol) So... this journey HAS to be about HEALTH. Seriously. Losing weight is secondary to this journey.

3. Take 15 minutes to really think about all you have accomplished, seperate from the scale. Review all of those NSVs. Feel the regained health of your body. Realize that you NEVER, EVER want to give that up. NEVER. Admit to yourself that you are WORTH being healthy.

4. Recommit to your health in baby steps. Set one goal for each day. Make it a small, easily attainable goal so that you can experience the success. Add slowly to that goal until you are at the max for that particular health-breeding habit. For example, if your main goal is to drink a gallon of Water each day, and you haven't been drinking any, start with a mini-goal of a quart. Slowly add to that each day until you get to your gallon. Once that habit is reset, start working towards your next goal. Suppose it's walking. Maybe you want to walk a minimum of 30 minutes each day. So day 1 your goal is to walk 10 minutes. Do that successfully for a couple of days, and then add another 5 minutes.

5. Remember that you do NOT have to fix everything in one day!! This is for the rest of your life! Be gentle with yourself, start your positive habits small, and build on them.

6. Focus on what you WANT to do, not what you DON'T want to do. Don't focus on NOT eating something less nutritious - focus on eating MORE nutritious foods. Don't deny yourself anything - just make your more healthy food choices FIRST - always promise yourself (and keep the promise!!) that you can have whatever you want (IF you still want it) after you've had your health building food(s).

7. Continue seeking and offering support!

Good luck, and I know you can do this. Sometimes we all need a little rest - there is nothing wrong with that. But you don't want to neglect your health for too long (like I have!)

xxoo

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Hey we all struggle that is why we did this in the first place...but I agree with donali it is a lifestyle change... I have lost my restriction but I am keeping my resolve. I realize I will slip but this time I won't crash and burn... this time I have a special tool to get me back on my feet and so do you. Use me! I'll use you. We are here for support of one another. We can do anything together. Just being awear (sp) of the problems that we face will go a long way unto solving them. Stay strong. Seek help and keep the faith!

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What great advice everyone has given. That is the thing I love about this board, people are always willing to help on here.

Nancy, you can do this! We know you can! Like Donali said, take it a day at a time and before you know it you will be back on track!

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I'm about 7 months out and I am struggling too. I joined Weight Watchers again, not for the program but for a support system. I find myself going back to poor food choices. It's nice for me to go to a meeting, talk about strategies for how to handle food situations and to be accountable to get weighed. I won't stand up and talk about my weight loss, like other members, because I know I'm different with my band, but it's nice to be in a supportive atmosphere where I get re-energized. Good luck!

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LaMadam: You're right!!! We've come too far.....to let this get us down!!! Thank you again for your encouraging words. We all know what we have to do....just need some reinforcement every now and then!!!

Pat: This is the part I was worried about when I was banded....making good food choices always.....I knew I had too since I am diabetic and had to keep a close eye on meds and diet. But you reminded me exactly why we need to make them!.

Donali: Your words made so much sense!!! We ALL know all this; but sometimes we need to be reminded that this is indeed FOREVER!!! And that it's DIFFERENT from all the other weight loss efforts we made before. It's always the case....just when we think we are going through the worst time, someone else has it worse than us!! I am not sure what I would do if I had to have my band removed...and here you are....you are the BEST!!! Hang in there!!! And thank you for your wise words!

Rica: Not gonna crash and burn either!!! You're right! Keep the faith!

Debbie: I too still go to my WW meetings. I NEED to go....for the accountability and support just like you! We do exactly the same...stay in the background about our weight loss....it's not fair to the others..but we're all there for the same reason!

Thanks everyone!!! I knew I could count on all of you for support....always have...I am so glad we have each other here! And remember that I am here for you too!!!

Thanks again for being here and putting it all back in perspective....just gonna take one day at a time....just as Betty reminded me....and that is as it should be!

Hugssssssssss

Nancy*

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I just want to second everything Donali said. (Girl, you ROCK!)

It's totally natural to take a breather, both mentally and physically. I think it's important, actually, because being in a losing state all the time is just not normal. I know I went through it, and stayed at roughly the same weight for several months, but the world didn't end and I've been able to pick up the reins again and move forward.

Be good to yourself, Nancy. If your body wants to rest after losing, what, more than 10 lbs a month for the past six months, you shouldn't feel bad about letting it! This isn't about abusing ourselves, it's about learning healthier ways to live. And you're doing that, in spades. :(

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One more piece of advice, if you/we're gonna be bad we have to be bad with good choices, like a low carb choc candy bar, s/f ice cream or s/f candy. If we're gonna over eat, let it be Protein. Nix the starches. Like Donali said, this is not a diet, this is it folks, this has got to work, this is the last rodeo, and an expensive one for us self payers.

We will make good choices, we will make good choices, we will!

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Nancy, I have been way, way off track for the last month and I've regained 10 pounds. I had a series of very stressful events plus an unfill and now have no restriction. I'm trying very hard to get back on track and Donali's suggestion of baby steps is part of what I do. And it helps. The other thing that helps me get back is to ADD things before I try to STOP things. So I've added exercise - not much, but I do it daily - and I've made the goal to ADD 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. I find that once I start adding the healthy things, I naturally begin to want to rid myself of the unhealthy foods.

Nancy

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Nancy,

I just wanted to say that I'm here to support you. With being so ill since surgery, and not being able to get a fill yet, I too have struggled with getting past the 35lb. off mark. And then I was told that I have to eat a heart healthy diet now too, so I had to re-learn how to eat a 2nd time around.

It was quite a challenge, but I'm learning. And I know that you're still learning too. And I know that you can do this! Heck, if I can do it, anyone can! I felt like the world's biggest loser (and I don't mean loser in a good way either) for such a long time. But it's getting better, just as it will get better for you too.

I know that you and I can do this! We'll get through it, we'll go back to basics, we'll fight the good fight and we'll plow our ways on through if need be! We're strong woman and we CAN do it!

If you ever need me I'm here. Send a PM, and email, whatever it takes. We'll definately get through our challenges together, and come out the other side of them better than when we went in.

Lets Get Em Girl! (The pounds, that is.) ~Kelly

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Your fears are getting the best of you. What worries you? Whats on the other side after you at your goal? Once you get to your goal, your going to be held accountable.

Thats my fear, if I loss all the weight I want, then I'm going to be expected to do "this" or "that". I have a very personal fear, and it scares me. I'll loss all the excuses that go on in my head. I didn't mean for this to be about me but alot of us have similar feelings.

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Nancy,

Donali is right. It is a lifestyle change. I have been struggling as of late to get the last 10-15 pounds off my body. I have been trying so hard and finallly realized this is a forever thing, so I have taken the time pressure monkey off my back by not giving myself a time line. (although I am still ahead of my original target)

Admittedly, I stopped doing the things that made me successful in the beginning and started getting complacent as of late. And 20+ months of trying to get to goal is a long time.!!!! Its much harder now than it was for me at 6 months out to lose the weight. My body is used to eating 1100-1200 calories a day and it doesnt want to lose more at this stage. So it does just get harder and harder, so you need to stay focused and take baby steps to a permanent lifestyle change. The great part having a band is that you can always take a break and start all over again!

It is an ongoing cycle of self improvement. If you know this and set up small achievable goals like Michelle suggested, then you will eventually get where you want to go. You can do it!!!

Babs in TX

334/180

-154

New goal; 170 or less....

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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