Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What would you do to deal with a weight problem if you couldn't have WLS?


RainyDay

Recommended Posts

Hi! I hope I put this in the right spot - it doesn't quite seem to fit anywhere. I'm getting the band myself in a few months. My mom is 65 and also interested in getting the band. However, she has almost every co-morbidity there is as well and the surgeon told her today that he doesn't think the risk of bariatric surgery is worth the benefit for her at this time. She is feeling very down about this, of course. She has a lot of weight to lose, but she also has a lot of pain that keeps her from getting adequate exercise.

If you had to manage your weight problem without WLS, what do you think is the best way to do it? My mother lost 30 pounds a couple years ago and has kept it off, but she still needs to lose at least 100 more. I know diets have a rotten failure rate but what do you think is the best way to lose a lot of weight for medical reasons if you can't have surgical assistance? It's possible her health would improve enough to get WLS if she lost a fair amount, but of course there's no way to tell just how much that is.

Appreciate anyone's input.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

**sigh** that's a tough one.

to be honest, i'd probably still be fat. :mad:

i dunno what i'd do, focus on moving more. eating right?? but pre-band, eating right consisted of anything and everything i could get my hands on.

good luck with your surgery. best of luck to you and your mom.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know, it's so hopeless! :mad: I really worry about her. I wonder how awful doing something like Medifast would be for her?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you had to manage your weight problem without WLS, what do you think is the best way to do it?
Yeah, aside from "stay fat" -- if you're asking specifically about the best way to have safe, maintainable weight -- reduced calorie IMO. I would suck at this as a non-banded lifestyle, but it's the only one that isn't a "program" or require you to drastially reduce any single food source. And exercise, of course... which is another reason why I'd still be fat.

Not that I'm not fat, but you get it. :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know, it's so hopeless! :mad: I really worry about her. I wonder how awful doing something like Medifast would be for her?

i dont think it's hopeless..

its something she could discuss with her doctor. personally, Medifast may get the weight off, but will she be able to keep it off?

maybe go for a more healthy lifestyle ... not a diet per se.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I think that might be the only way. My mom is not really a binge eater per se. She is retired and doesn't feel like cooking anymore, which I can understand! She has disabilities that keep her pretty sedentary and she has that nice thrifty metabolism she so kindly shared with me. :tt2: I think I am going to start making her some meals to freeze and eat instead of her random eating. Like last night she ate a bunch of peanuts, an orange and a candy bar. It wasn't a massive quantity AFAIK but obviously not that balanced and not a good idea for a diabetic. So maybe I can just throw together a little TV dinner for her when I cook and she can eat that. We eat lunch together almost every day so I try to make decent stuff for her and my toddler, like a tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread with sprouts and tomatoes. But she eats such random, not that great stuff for supper and usually skips Breakfast.

Hopefully if she gets a little more healthy home cooking that will help. It is dismal (for me at least) to think of a handful of peanuts and a candy bar and a piece of fruit as a meal! :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Find someway, somehow to exercise, no matter what it took. Its vital, absolutely vital in getting weight off but more importantly in keeping it off.

I'd never sit down, that's a tactic I try to employ now. I might sit down here, but the rule is 5 minutes, then go and do something, something around the house usually. I no longer EVER spend hours sitting on my bum. Even at night in front of the TV, I get up and do stuff in the ads.

And I'd just try to say right, 3 meals a day, that's ALL, and try to make them healthy ones. You cant just skive off cooking, that's a lazy, fat way to behave. Sorry, but it is. Cooking yourself healthy meals is one skill you absolutely cannot do without. My mum is 67, retired, plays golf 3 x a week, goes bike riding twice, is never ever home when you try to call her, has the fridge stocked with healthy food, she and dad cook together most nights, healthy habits make healthy people (even if not super skinny, mum mum is a touch overweight) and fat habits make fat people. Fat habits are not about just what you eat, its how you live all round.

Especially if she's diabetic, she's old enough and adult enough to take responsibility for managing that and she should know that what she's doing is not beneficial to her diabetes.

And once I'd made those changes, I'd accept that they take me wherever they take me. NO thoughts of normal BMI, low goal weights, etc etc. Because without WLS losing THAT much weight aint likely to happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i dont think it's hopeless..

its something she could discuss with her doctor. personally, Medifast may get the weight off, but will she be able to keep it off?

maybe go for a more healthy lifestyle ... not a diet per se.

Probably not 100% hopeless, you're right...but not that hopeful either IMO.

I will keep pressing her to talk to her doc about this. She's been fighting her weight for so many years that I feel like this is just going to make her give up.

I am normally not for crash diets like Medifast but her weight is so aggravating to her health conditions - I wish I had a crystal ball and could see if she's able to exercise after losing 75 pounds or something, you know?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jaqui - Definitely, that would really help. But she has so much physical pain that I think she is afraid to even try to be more active. She has a bad knee, a bad back that got further aggravated by a car accident last summer, and fibromyalgia. She is trying but even walking for 6 minutes on a treadmill is excruciating. I am trying to get her to buy herself a treadmill and try walking two minutes on, two minutes off while she watches her shows, or something like that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly, I'd start looking into other forms of weightloss surgery (forms that don't rely quite as much on ability to exercise), and I'd look for a surgeon that was extremely experienced with high-risk patients. Take the surgeons on Big Medicine, for example. They work with extremely high risk patients, ones that are so heavy that they can't even get out of bed. I doubt your mom is higher risk than them. Yeah, lap-band is probably out of the question, but other forms of WLS may still be an option.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would talk to the doctor about what is an acceptable risk, and how much weight he thinks she needs to lose to get there. There are also surgeons out there who are more willing to do surgery on the higher risk patients. I'm not saying "hunt for a doctor until you find one that will do it" but getting another opinion can't hurt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There are so many people over 65 that have WLS and medicare even pays for it. Was that her PCP that said that or did she see a WLS surgeon? I would advise her to look further into it and to read the board on here for the people 60 and older. We all have health problems. That's one of the main reasons for having the surgery at this age!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×