Hi! I hope I put this in the right spot - it doesn't quite seem to fit anywhere. I'm getting the band myself in a few months. My mom is 65 and also interested in getting the band. However, she has almost every co-morbidity there is as well and the surgeon told her today that he doesn't think the risk of bariatric surgery is worth the benefit for her at this time. She is feeling very down about this, of course. She has a lot of weight to lose, but she also has a lot of pain that keeps her from getting adequate exercise.

If you had to manage your weight problem without WLS, what do you think is the best way to do it? My mother lost 30 pounds a couple years ago and has kept it off, but she still needs to lose at least 100 more. I know diets have a rotten failure rate but what do you think is the best way to lose a lot of weight for medical reasons if you can't have surgical assistance? It's possible her health would improve enough to get WLS if she lost a fair amount, but of course there's no way to tell just how much that is.

Appreciate anyone's input.

**sigh** that's a tough one.

to be honest, i'd probably still be fat. :mad:

i dunno what i'd do, focus on moving more. eating right?? but pre-band, eating right consisted of anything and everything i could get my hands on.

good luck with your surgery. best of luck to you and your mom.

I know, it's so hopeless! :mad: I really worry about her. I wonder how awful doing something like Medifast would be for her?

If you had to manage your weight problem without WLS, what do you think is the best way to do it?

Yeah, aside from "stay fat" -- if you're asking specifically about the best way to have safe, maintainable weight -- reduced calorie IMO. I would suck at this as a non-banded lifestyle, but it's the only one that isn't a "program" or require you to drastially reduce any single food source. And exercise, of course... which is another reason why I'd still be fat.

Not that I'm not fat, but you get it. :mad:

I know, it's so hopeless! :mad: I really worry about her. I wonder how awful doing something like Medifast would be for her?

i dont think it's hopeless..

its something she could discuss with her doctor. personally, Medifast may get the weight off, but will she be able to keep it off?

maybe go for a more healthy lifestyle ... not a diet per se.

Yeah, I think that might be the only way. My mom is not really a binge eater per se. She is retired and doesn't feel like cooking anymore, which I can understand! She has disabilities that keep her pretty sedentary and she has that nice thrifty metabolism she so kindly shared with me. :tt2: I think I am going to start making her some meals to freeze and eat instead of her random eating. Like last night she ate a bunch of peanuts, an orange and a candy bar. It wasn't a massive quantity AFAIK but obviously not that balanced and not a good idea for a diabetic. So maybe I can just throw together a little TV dinner for her when I cook and she can eat that. We eat lunch together almost every day so I try to make decent stuff for her and my toddler, like a tuna sandwich on whole wheat bread with sprouts and tomatoes. But she eats such random, not that great stuff for supper and usually skips Breakfast.

Hopefully if she gets a little more healthy home cooking that will help. It is dismal (for me at least) to think of a handful of peanuts and a candy bar and a piece of fruit as a meal! :mad:

Find someway, somehow to exercise, no matter what it took. Its vital, absolutely vital in getting weight off but more importantly in keeping it off.

I'd never sit down, that's a tactic I try to employ now. I might sit down here, but the rule is 5 minutes, then go and do something, something around the house usually. I no longer EVER spend hours sitting on my bum. Even at night in front of the TV, I get up and do stuff in the ads.

And I'd just try to say right, 3 meals a day, that's ALL, and try to make them healthy ones. You cant just skive off cooking, that's a lazy, fat way to behave. Sorry, but it is. Cooking yourself healthy meals is one skill you absolutely cannot do without. My mum is 67, retired, plays golf 3 x a week, goes bike riding twice, is never ever home when you try to call her, has the fridge stocked with healthy food, she and dad cook together most nights, healthy habits make healthy people (even if not super skinny, mum mum is a touch overweight) and fat habits make fat people. Fat habits are not about just what you eat, its how you live all round.

Especially if she's diabetic, she's old enough and adult enough to take responsibility for managing that and she should know that what she's doing is not beneficial to her diabetes.

And once I'd made those changes, I'd accept that they take me wherever they take me. NO thoughts of normal BMI, low goal weights, etc etc. Because without WLS losing THAT much weight aint likely to happen.

i dont think it's hopeless..

its something she could discuss with her doctor. personally, Medifast may get the weight off, but will she be able to keep it off?

maybe go for a more healthy lifestyle ... not a diet per se.

Probably not 100% hopeless, you're right...but not that hopeful either IMO.

I will keep pressing her to talk to her doc about this. She's been fighting her weight for so many years that I feel like this is just going to make her give up.

I am normally not for crash diets like Medifast but her weight is so aggravating to her health conditions - I wish I had a crystal ball and could see if she's able to exercise after losing 75 pounds or something, you know?

Jaqui - Definitely, that would really help. But she has so much physical pain that I think she is afraid to even try to be more active. She has a bad knee, a bad back that got further aggravated by a car accident last summer, and fibromyalgia. She is trying but even walking for 6 minutes on a treadmill is excruciating. I am trying to get her to buy herself a treadmill and try walking two minutes on, two minutes off while she watches her shows, or something like that.

Honestly, I'd start looking into other forms of weightloss surgery (forms that don't rely quite as much on ability to exercise), and I'd look for a surgeon that was extremely experienced with high-risk patients. Take the surgeons on Big Medicine, for example. They work with extremely high risk patients, ones that are so heavy that they can't even get out of bed. I doubt your mom is higher risk than them. Yeah, lap-band is probably out of the question, but other forms of WLS may still be an option.

I would talk to the doctor about what is an acceptable risk, and how much weight he thinks she needs to lose to get there. There are also surgeons out there who are more willing to do surgery on the higher risk patients. I'm not saying "hunt for a doctor until you find one that will do it" but getting another opinion can't hurt.

There are so many people over 65 that have WLS and medicare even pays for it. Was that her PCP that said that or did she see a WLS surgeon? I would advise her to look further into it and to read the board on here for the people 60 and older. We all have health problems. That's one of the main reasons for having the surgery at this age!

Thank you all for your input and suggestions...I'll pass it all along to her!