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Getting & keeping a boy/girlfriend?



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haha definitely DON'T get a boyfriend now. wait until you're all hot and sexy before you pick your choice :laugh:

i'm lucky in the sense that i have one that loves me very much despite my weight. guys like these are keepers, defo. i don't treat him seriously though, because of my insecurities due to my weight sigh.

i've definitely felt conscious when talking to guys i like, and my weight and size has pretty much prohibited me from asking anyone out. however i've seen big girls who are very confident with themselves and they are absolutely oozing with sexiness!

don't get your knickers all twisted finding one now, work on yourself and someone will definitely come your way, like it or not lol. definitely don't let anyone pressure you into getting one. know what you want, know what's best for yourself :lol:

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im zoe im getting lapbanding on sept 9, im 18 and weigh 150kilos and im 170cm, i have never had a boyfriend.

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fun story

i just read what i wrote like months ago

and since then, i've been getting so much attention, its a bit ridiculous.

still single tho.

ladies, hit me up

lols

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So, I've lost a bit of weight since I started this thread & gained the tiniest bit of confidence, but it has definitely helped. No boyfriend right now though. But that's cool.

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i've had a boyfriend, =/ wasnt nothing special, not a virgin(:thumbdown:), been kissed, last kiss was amazing,(not the guy i had as bf) but he scares me now kinda, he broke my heart last year(not the guy i had as a bf) so i feel that every guy i meet will do the same. im so shy i cant even look a guy in the face cause i think hes starring at my ugliness(lol) but i hope when i lose most of my weight i find someone i can trust and be with for a long time maybe forever? i dont know, i want to lose weight first though, yet im also scared that i wont find somebody, maybe my confidence level will go up =D

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I've been in a relationship with a girl whose skinny now for about 3 months, we've known each other for years. She's skinny and I'm overweight but it doesnt seem to bother her. I even got the Lap-Band without her knowing.

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Yea the whole boyfriend thing is quite hard. My first (and only) relationship was when I was 13 and it was with my best friend. We'd known each other since 5th grade and I fell in love with him. I thought he was perfect and i thought i was lucky that he even wanted to talk to me (bad self confidence) And we talked for 8 hours every day on the phone and talked about sex and such but in school he would only talk to me when we were alone, and would never tell his friends about me. Maybe he was embarrassed? idk but it was riddiculous since it wasn't like i was unpopular (and he was quite unpopular) and i don't think people would have made fun of him. People actually made fun of me for liking him. anyways, one day i went to school and he was with some girl by his locker (she was thin and small but a total bitch) and when i asked him what was going on he was like " i have a girlfriend now, i don't need you" and he hasn't talked to me since. So yea. i've just spent this time looking after myself and loving myself. and gaining self confidence of course :biggrin: like, i'm a musician and i play guitar and sing and i was always afraid to go on stage cause i thought people wouldn't like me cause i was fat. Now, i'm performing and i'm loving me :angel_smile: all about perspective. You don't need a bf/gf to feel good about youself. And, if they don't want you, it's their loss and your gain :tongue:

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self-confidence is definately key to catching a boy/girlfriend

If you don't care how other people percieve you (being fat, for example) then they will find you more attractive. You should feel confident about who you are and what you look like.

Do you like being around people who are afraid to do anythings fun or different? Do you like being around people who hate themselves or constantly complain about their appearance?

This is something I learned after I left high school. I strut what I've got and I do not let my weight keep me down. I'm now engaged to an awesome guy who loves me for who I am. He loved me when I was at 262 pounds and he is supporting me through my weight-loss process. The first thing that he found attractive in me was that I was very secure with who I was.

Believe me I am not settling for the first guy that looked my way. I've had several other opportunities (since my change of perspective) to be with other guys. You should never settle and you should be happy with who you are with.

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I've been in 3 relationships before I was only truly in love with one of them and he broke my heart. I understand the whole I don't know if guys will want to be with me because I'm over weight thing...But theres someone out there for everyone and you just got to wait and let it happen you can't put yourself down just because you dont have a boyfriend. That should make you want to work harder to look better and be healthier! :)

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I have found that relationships after being banded are far more difficult and complicated but not impossible. It seems that people need to realize that beauty comes from inside out, not outside in. I'm sure that everybody on these forums is beautiful in their own way but it just takes times to find that special someone.

xJMorgan

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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