Getting & keeping a boy/girlfriend?

[MaxDrmmr 0]

Y'see, I've been single all my life.

It blows.

I'm in a band, all 3 mates, except me, have no probs with getting girls.

*and i play the drums...this shouldnt be happening!*

I'm pretty sure once i start losing weight, things will be easier.

I got prom to look forward too

so yeah, that's my input.

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

My highest weight was 242 and I am still very overweight at 214 and I have to tell you, the way you carry yourself and your amount of self esteem is all you need to get men. I get more men than my size 2 friend because she is very insecure.

Love yourself. Love your body whatever size it may be. Take bubble baths and make your skin soft by putting on lotion. Do your makeup, get a flattering haircut/hair color. Get manicures and pedicures. Love yourself, pamper yourself and the men will follow.

I am not saying all men like overweight girls. The ones who like skinny minnies are not for us. But you would be surprised how many guys are attracted to big girls because they love soft curves and naturally big breasts. Personally I think there is something wrong with guys who are attracted to women who have bodies like prepubescent boys with zero hips and curves.

You have to have good self esteem no matter how much you weigh and guys are attracted to that. Don't tolerate guys who treat you badly. You are to be treated well. Just because you are chubby does not mean you need to settle for a douchebag boyfriend who is verbally abusive! Lose the loser and get a new guy. Love yourself and you will get plenty of guys. Its a hard thing to grasp at 17 or 18 but believe me it's true. I promise!

I've had two boyfriends. One lasted one month & was amazing. The second was like four months but emotionally abusive. I'm not sure if it is because I'm overweight or because I have a personality flaw, but I'm scared that I still won't be able to get a boyfriend even after I lose the weight. /rant

EDIT:

Shit, I forgot to even ask... those of you in a relationship... what has your experience been?

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

The same thing I said to the girls goes for you Max. Love yourself and the girls will follow. Plus girls love boys in bands!!!

Y'see, I've been single all my life.

It blows.

I'm in a band, all 3 mates, except me, have no probs with getting girls.

*and i play the drums...this shouldnt be happening!*

I'm pretty sure once i start losing weight, things will be easier.

I got prom to look forward too

so yeah, that's my input.

[Allison 2]

My highest weight was 242 and I am still very overweight at 214 and I have to tell you, the way you carry yourself and your amount of self esteem is all you need to get men. I get more men than my size 2 friend because she is very insecure.

Love yourself. Love your body whatever size it may be. Take bubble baths and make your skin soft by putting on lotion. Do your makeup, get a flattering haircut/hair color. Get manicures and pedicures. Love yourself, pamper yourself and the men will follow.

I am not saying all men like overweight girls. The ones who like skinny minnies are not for us. But you would be surprised how many guys are attracted to big girls because they love soft curves and naturally big breasts. Personally I think there is something wrong with guys who are attracted to women who have bodies like prepubescent boys with zero hips and curves.

You have to have good self esteem no matter how much you weigh and guys are attracted to that. Don't tolerate guys who treat you badly. You are to be treated well. Just because you are chubby does not mean you need to settle for a douchebag boyfriend who is verbally abusive! Lose the loser and get a new guy. Love yourself and you will get plenty of guys. Its a hard thing to grasp at 17 or 18 but believe me it's true. I promise!

Aw you are so right! I have been overweight my whole life, I was in the 200's since about 9th or 10th grade, and now at 225 I am at my highest (mind you I am only about 5'1, so I look like a ball, really short and round hahaha) I used to be so self concious (er bad speller), I wore baggy, unflattering clothes and just figured, why bother trying to look nice, I'll still just be "that fat girl." After I turned 16 I started really trying to spice things up a little, and now I really am one of the best dressers out of everyone I know. Hahaha, not to sound vain, but I think I do have to try a little bit more you know? My friends can go out looking like crap, but they are all like, oh well we still have hot bodies. I go out with my hair and makeup perfect and a good sense of humour and always end up with more guys and have a way better sex life than they do! :wink2:

So be good to yourself!! I asked a really attractive, great guy with a perfect bod I was dating why he was into me when he could have had any skinny, beautiful girl he wanted. He said I had so much self confidence he sometimes forgot I was fat. People will see you however you want them to see you. You are all beautiful :wink2:

Allison

Edited March 20, 2008 by Allison

[mikey155734 0]

I think that some guys are just jerks! I have never looked at a woman and thought, wow is she heavy! I am not attracted to her because of her weight! I love my wife just the way she is, and have never been attracted to the super thin, model types! If someone really loves you, they will love you for who you are not even think about how much you weigh! I know that there is a guy out there for you, but patience is the key to find the right one for you! I have been married to my beautiful wife for 2 years, however it did take some time for me to find her and vice cersa. Hope this helps.

I've had two boyfriends. One lasted one month & was amazing. The second was like four months but emotionally abusive. I'm not sure if it is because I'm overweight or because I have a personality flaw, but I'm scared that I still won't be able to get a boyfriend even after I lose the weight. /rant

EDIT:

Shit, I forgot to even ask... those of you in a relationship... what has your experience been?

[hollyncharm 0]

i have never had a short relationship. i didn't get my first boyfriend until i was 12 and at the time i thought that was forever.... but it isn't i know allot of people who didn't date until they were in their twenties. my last boyfriend is the reason why i am as over weight. he used this weird way of complimenting me when i looked my worse so that i never dressed up. he would say that i looked cheap. so for a year and a half i lived in sweatpants and t-shirts, hair in a ponytail with no makeup. it was aweful. he had this way of making me feel special but like he was the only one who would ever make me feel that way then he would be hateful. so i stayed with him as long as i did cause i didn't think i could do better. i now have been with a new guy for almost two years and he is perfect. he is so attractive and built! he is sweet and hard working he doesn't talk allot but when he does he means what he says and its always nice. he never says hateful things and he always makes me feel like i could do anything. i am who i am today because he has made me feel like i am worth being who i want to be.

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

I too am overweight because of a bad relationship. I struggled with my weight my whole life, always dieting up and down but I never got really overweight until I was in a bad relationship for 3 years. He put me down a lot under the guise of caring about me and when someone talks down to you all the time, it chips away like a chisel at your self esteem. I also started wearing sweatpants all the time, no makeup, hair in a bun or ponytail. I didnt want to admit that I was into plus size clothes, so for a while all I bought was sweatpants and looked icky. The thing is, when someone puts you down, you don't feel beautiful and you don't want to put effort into your appearance. Also, I wasnt fulfilled in my career.

So having a sucky relationship and a sucky career made me feel horrible and I turned to overeating for comfort. Now I realize, you can't live your life for others, you have to live your life for you. You need to treasure yourself and whoever doesnt speak nicely to you, you need to stick up for yourself and get all of the people who "suck your soul" out of your life!

5 years later, I am trying to get back to who I was before I met my ex (cuz I was a really cool girl!) and it is working. I am doing a career I love, I bought a new apartment and a fancy car and am dating hot guys now who treat me well. And I am taking control of my weight. Only you determine how others treat you. Love yourself and don't tolerate bad treatment from guys!!

i have never had a short relationship. i didn't get my first boyfriend until i was 12 and at the time i thought that was forever.... but it isn't i know allot of people who didn't date until they were in their twenties. my last boyfriend is the reason why i am as over weight. he used this weird way of complimenting me when i looked my worse so that i never dressed up. he would say that i looked cheap. so for a year and a half i lived in sweatpants and t-shirts, hair in a ponytail with no makeup. it was aweful. he had this way of making me feel special but like he was the only one who would ever make me feel that way then he would be hateful. so i stayed with him as long as i did cause i didn't think i could do better. i now have been with a new guy for almost two years and he is perfect. he is so attractive and built! he is sweet and hard working he doesn't talk allot but when he does he means what he says and its always nice. he never says hateful things and he always makes me feel like i could do anything. i am who i am today because he has made me feel like i am worth being who i want to be.

[Allison 2]

I too am overweight because of a bad relationship. I struggled with my weight my whole life, always dieting up and down but I never got really overweight until I was in a bad relationship for 3 years. He put me down a lot under the guise of caring about me and when someone talks down to you all the time, it chips away like a chisel at your self esteem. I also started wearing sweatpants all the time, no makeup, hair in a bun or ponytail. I didnt want to admit that I was into plus size clothes, so for a while all I bought was sweatpants and looked icky. The thing is, when someone puts you down, you don't feel beautiful and you don't want to put effort into your appearance. Also, I wasnt fulfilled in my career.

So having a sucky relationship and a sucky career made me feel horrible and I turned to overeating for comfort. Now I realize, you can't live your life for others, you have to live your life for you. You need to treasure yourself and whoever doesnt speak nicely to you, you need to stick up for yourself and get all of the people who "suck your soul" out of your life!

5 years later, I am trying to get back to who I was before I met my ex (cuz I was a really cool girl!) and it is working. I am doing a career I love, I bought a new apartment and a fancy car and am dating hot guys now who treat me well. And I am taking control of my weight. Only you determine how others treat you. Love yourself and don't tolerate bad treatment from guys!!

Hey bergdorfblonde, thanks for all the insight, your success is really an inspiration. I'm kind of in a rut right now with school, work, money (I have none lol), where I live (mom and dads:bored:), even in the past couple weeks my love life seems to be going down the tubes, I guess I just need to look at the bright side of things. You mentioned you love your career, what do you do? And where are you from? just curious :huh2:

Allison

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

Hey Allison,

You are so lucky you have your whole life ahead of you! If you follow your passion and do what you love, it will seem like fun rather than work and there is no way you can't be successful! :thumbdown: I live in NYC. I worked in law for years and hated it! Now I do beauty and fashion writing for magazines and started my own public relations firm. I am following my passion and it is paying off bigtime.

When I was doing law, I was trying to please my parents and other people who thought that was a successful career. The thing is, if you aren't passionate about what you do, you can still do it but you will be mediocre at best. It's much better to do exactly what you love. :frown:

When I was your age, I knew I was smart and talented but didn't know exactly what to do for a career. I interned at a tv talk show and for MTV and had the best time ever! In my 20's I tried out different jobs and by my late 20's I realized exactly what I love to do.

If you do what you love, the money will come. And the men will come too as they love women who are more than a pretty face and have something interesting to bring to the table. I am currently dating an anchorman and a surgeon and you would never believe they would date someone who is my weight. But I am so much more than my weight and as I get thinner my self esteem only grows. Follow your passion and live your dreams!! :huh2:

Hey bergdorfblonde, thanks for all the insight, your success is really an inspiration. I'm kind of in a rut right now with school, work, money (I have none lol), where I live (mom and dads:bored:), even in the past couple weeks my love life seems to be going down the tubes, I guess I just need to look at the bright side of things. You mentioned you love your career, what do you do? And where are you from? just curious :thumbs_down:

Allison

[hollyncharm 0]

I am currently dating an anchorman and a surgeon

wow just so I'm not mistaken those are both hectic jobs so i am assuming that they are two different men...... :thumbup: nice. I'm happy with one and he sometimes is more than i can handle but most def props to you for being able to balance all of the things in you life and TWO men. I'm impressed. :biggrin2:

[coneyconey 0]

I just got out of a horrible relationship. I've been the type of girl that goes through lots of long relationships. My last boyfriend was horrible to me. We dated a year. He owes me tons of money (over a thousand) and treated me like crap. After I started dating him I gained almost 40 pounds. After I got the surgery he was really rude and acted disgusted when I sometimes would throw up. He was completely un-supportive of me.

I'm now dating someone new, who is awfully amazing. He is a bit chubby, but ridiculously cute and sweet to me. I've lost about 45 pounds. He is constantly telling me how beautiful I am. I haven't told him about my Lap Band, but he knows that something is weird about my eating habits and my rapid weight loss. I'll post a picture of us later if you girls/boys want to see.

Edited April 17, 2008 by coneyconey

[hollyncharm 0]

i dont know if you ended your last relationship or not but if you did good for you way to take control of your life. thats when you know you really love yourself like you should, when you can do something as hard as breaking up with some one after a relationship! as for the new guy heck yes i love seeing happy new couples! chubby is ok. with my experience they are the ones who try the hardest and will treat you best. unless they get too full of themselves but i would never make them feel bad about their appearances even if they were an ass hole!

[coneyconey 0]

Yeah, I ended up calling it quits. We went on a break and I realized how much happier I was just enjoying my friends and my free time.

anyhow, these are some pics

Thats a bad pic of him and me

and thats him by himself. awww

[Angelyco 0]

I accidentally came here yesterday when I meant to click on "Twenties" but I think I have some advice for you all:

I'm 24 but I started dating my current fiance when I was 17, and while I weighed less then than I do now, I was still about 300 when I met him, and he still stays by my side even when I gained more. I also had a hard time finding guys that would date me in high school...until I started online dating. I found my fiance in a chat room on Yahoo. I really recommend online dating for not just people like us, but even some of my friends who are really shy or one of my friends who just gets really spazzy sometimes and it can be overwhelming if he met someone face-to-face before they got to know him. The reason online dating is nice is because you get to know someone without the first impression of looks. Plus, it's not as emotionally high risk because if you start talking to someone and it doesn't work out early on, you never have to see or talk to them again, no awkwardness of being in the same school as someone.

Of course, it is harder if you find someone who is further away, like my boy lived in New York while I was from Iowa, but now I live in NY as well just to be with him and we're getting married soon. I would do it all over again if I had to just to be as happy as I am now--6 years of being apart was worth it. With alot of dating sites though, you can specify how far away you are willing to look for someone.

Anyways, that's the end of my little rant, good luck everyone! Here are some pics of me and my sweety:

[mjsprague1017 0]

Hey Katie,

I saw that your wondering about the boyfriend thing. What i have learned is that you have to be urself and when u stop looking...that special guy will be right in front of you. I have been pretty chunky my whole teenage life...i am me and thats all i know how to be and believe me girl, there are TONS of men that love chubby girls! I always had a boyfriend but i didnt worry about having one either. I am 20 right now and iv been married for a year. I met my husband a month after my 16 birthday....iv gained alot of weight since i was 16 and hes still by myside cuz he loves me for me. I am the kinda of person that believes everyone has someone out ther for them... and i kno ull find that person...just dont push it. Focus on you and your goals ...then a guy will fit in there somewhere along the way!!

Mandi