MEN: did you lose interest in sex in your 40's?

Done · February 6, 2008

ETA: simple question, condensed version. No need to reply to the poll. Just looking for info from other guys. Thxs

losingjusme · February 6, 2008

yikes,

so sorry to hear about your dilemma. im a very sexual person as well and if im not getting it on a regular basis (3-4 times a week or more), i become quite the bitch.

you may get better results with making it a private poll. just a thought.

whosyadaddy · February 6, 2008

Yikes!!!!!!!!!!

4.30am ill 8pm!!!! Holly cow!

He is just exhausted!!!!!!!!

Seriously he needs to look for a new job asap. Otherwise you two are really going to suffer!

Thanks for being so honest about everything. My gosh i cant expect a company to expect people to work like that!

Leather · February 6, 2008

Man here.

Its hard to say... sounds like he is working pretty hard, that might be it. He may also have some issues with his testostrone levels. At 38 I am just as sexual as I was at 20 so I question whether or not it is his age. I might say affair but it doesnt sound like he would have the time for it!

Manatee · February 6, 2008

A T-level test probably isn't a bad idea. Frankly, though, that schedule he's on sounds like a (literal) killer.

And no, I ain't voting in any poll

Done · February 6, 2008

yikes,
so sorry to hear about your dilemma. im a very sexual person as well and if im not getting it on a regular basis (3-4 times a week or more), i become quite the bitch.

you may get better results with making it a private poll. just a thought.

I didn't think of that, sorry! I can't figure out how to modify the poll settings. It lets me change the text but not the poll. Ugh.

green · February 6, 2008

Chick response here. I have found that a prolonged domestic arrangement does two things: I will continue to fall more and more deeply in love with my mate. At the same time I find that as my love and personal commitment deepens, my sexual passion grows increasingly chilly. Domesticity and brilliant sex simply cannot happen in tandem, sez Greenie grrl.

Done · February 7, 2008

Come on, I need more men to share their experiences. I appreciate the female responses, however that isn't what I am looking for.

I need to know what other men have gone through, or what their friends have gone through, etc. etc. I have no idea how the male brain operates so I was hoping to get some exclusive inside information.

I did talk with him last night and he said that work is just unbearable, that every day he just dreads going there. It's really that bad. I suggested to him that, after 20 years, he take a buy out and go back to school to become a machinist. Problem is we can't make our mortgage payment without this income, and it's not like we are living the high life here (we outside of a major city where it has the highest house prices in Canada).

:-(((((((

whosyadaddy · February 7, 2008

I totally think its the work situation!

Sorry your having a hard time of it

whosyadaddy · February 7, 2008

He has not lost interest in porn though. He has always had interest in it, and I do not object to it as I use it myself (yes, I'm such a nympho!).

What the heck is this part all about though? What do you mean by he hasnt lost interest in porn...can you expand on that?

PhotoEgor · February 9, 2008

Come on, I need more men to share their experiences. I appreciate the female responses, however that isn't what I am looking for.
I need to know what other men have gone through, or what their friends have gone through, etc. etc. I have no idea how the male brain operates so I was hoping to get some exclusive inside information.

I did talk with him last night and he said that work is just unbearable, that every day he just dreads going there. It's really that bad. I suggested to him that, after 20 years, he take a buy out and go back to school to become a machinist. Problem is we can't make our mortgage payment without this income, and it's not like we are living the high life here (we outside of a major city where it has the highest house prices in Canada).

:-(((((((

By my own experience, I suspect that he may be suffering depression. That's what happened to me. I tried to get promoted into mangement, I compromised some of core beliefs thinking that was what I wanted. I nearly ended up trying to commit suicide. It's taken almost 10 years to get mentally healthy again. 20 years on the job is a long time to give up, but night school or a change of pace may help. I've been at my job for 22 years, when I had my breakdown I'd been there for 13, was in my 40s and had no college degree. With therapy and medication and lots of support from my wife, I've learned that management was not the place for me. I've devoted more of my time to learning something for when I retire(photography) and looking to the future. I have about 8 more years till I can retire.

I venture your hubby feels:

1. he has nothing left to look forward to.

2. he feels powerless to control everything around him(what's worse is that he thinks he can)

3. He probably also feels that everyone is looking and talking about HIM.

4. He has to 'put on a mask' to go work or face the world, so that nothing will appear wrong.

Medication, therapy, and support can help. But for him to get through this, HE has to decide not to be depressed and to control only that which is his to control. He cannot control his company, the stupid co-workers, or take responsibility for any of their actions. The only thing he can control is himself.

The first step is the hardest, get him evaluated by a medical professional.

Good Luck and ask if you have other questions

gk

Done · February 10, 2008

Thank you GK, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.

We talked earlier tonight...he seems a lot more receptive with taking a buy-out when it comes and going back to school, or moving to Alberta to work in the oil fields. Who knows what the future holds in store for us!! Very exciting. With the darkness comes the light.