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Why are YOU Fat?



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I think I am fat because food is comfort to me. I also think about food more than I believe the average person does. I had an angry father that caused everyone in the house to be on egg shells. I had a loving wonderful mother that treid to make up for the father we had. I was always the over weight one. I think I just turned to food for comfort. Now, even after being banded for over two years and lossing almost all of my weight, I still take way bigger portions than I can eat and I still want to eat more at night when everyone has gone to sleep. I do have a lot more awareness though about how I use food. The band has made me not be able to sabotage my weight loss even when I tried to at times. I am so greatful to my band for being a great tool to help me in my fight against over eating!

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Hey, just like a lot of you, I was taught "waste not, want not" we had to clean up our plates . . . we didn't have Desserts (thank god) so I'm not a dessert person. . . my genetics however are huge. . . my biological dad is Objibwa Indian, 6'4" tall, 375 lbs, incredible large bone structure, mom is of russian/german descent, but of normal structure, however, her siblings are hugh, 6'0" is short and 350 lbs is the normal weight. . . so here i am 6'0" tall and 330 lbs. . . constant struggle . . . i can lose the weight and have at one time ago (lost 100 lbs) looked pretty darn good, but as soon as i stopped the phentermine, here it all came back on. . . i don't eat desserts, don't like candy, chocolate, ice cream, pies, or cakes, what i do like is good old home cooked food. . . i don't enjoy eat out food either. . so what I have hanging off me is hearty meat and potatoes type of fat. . . but fortunately too I don't have a favorite food. . . but i LOVE to drink stuff. . . from Water to juices, and anything in between. . . give me a glass of water and i'm happy, but i'll need more than 1. . . . so that is what made me fat . . .

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Well for me, being fat has been a life long struggle. From childhood to age 17 I was VERY active, on soccer teams, dance, tap, cheerleading, gymnastics, then when I was in 7th grade my school started a swim team. I always loved to swim and I thought I was pretty good, so I tried out, and I made it, from 7th grade until when I dropped out in 11th, I was a competitive swimmer. I worked out 6x a week 2-3 hours a day. And guess what? I was the second biggest girl on the team! I wasn't consuming huge amounts of food besides the night before a meet when we carb loaded.

After I dropped out, that's when things went downhill. I started realizing that there was something wrong, like why couldn't I be a normal size when I was working out so much. Well then came college a few months later, and being such a shy person, I didn't ever want to go to the gym alone, so I rarely went. Then I left that school, got a job, had no means of working out really. Then I was back in school, but still didn't work out, and basically I haven't really worked out since I left high school.

I did discover that the constant weight gain was due to PCOS, and that I was almost fighting a losing battle. Finding out about the PCOS was such a breakthrough it explained a lot, like dark black facial hair, yeah, how embarrassing.

Late 2008 I finally decided to look into weight loss surgery. Now I'm STILL trying to get surgery, having difficulty due to stupid doctors who are big babies, or assholes. But I'm close.

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I grew up homeless until the age of 9, when my sisters and I were put into the foster care system. We would go 2+ days without eating and then my mom would bring home a box of twinkies and we would all scarf them down. I remember stealing candy bars with my sister when I was 6. She would stuff them down my skirt at the grocery store!

At 9 we went into the foster system. The foster home that we were put into was just like you hear those horror stories about. They would punish us by not letting us eat. This started the 'sneaking the food at midnight" part of eating that stuck with me until today.

At 18 my older sister was over 700 lbs. I was 13 at that time and I was 240 lbs.

Over the last 10 years I worked a lot of night jobs. I would go all day without eating, hated eating Breakfast. Then go home and eat a 2000 calorie dinner and go to bed. For 7 years, up to the day of my Dr supervised diet, I did not fluctuate 1 lb.

My sister had 2 verticle banded gastroplaties when she was 18 and then again when she was 21. She got down to 400 lbs before she passed away.

I never had a fat complex. Being the smallest in my family I never understood why people called me fat! Now that my sister is gone, I really miss having somebody around who understands the every day struggles that we go through. I miss having somebody to joke with about having to wear pads cause we laughed so hard, etc!

The hardest part fo me is remembering to eat Breakfast. If I eat breakfast I am hungry every 3-4 hours. If I eat nothing, I can go all day without ever thinking about food.< /p>

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I think for me it's simply because I love food. My mom was from the south and her family fed everyone to show love. That was all I knew. Even to this day (I'm pre-surgery) she will say "I baked you some brownies", etc. We ate things that were fried, covered in gravy or butter. Delicious food. Food that reminded me of my family and our times together. That is one of the reasons why I think I'm fat. I love to eat. It's a security blanket for me.

But, I realize that I'm passing these "traits" on to my daughters and it has to stop. I have to show them love through a different route or they're going to be like me. They're going to be 33, 280+ lbs and miserable. I don't want that for them. I still want us to enjoy our time together, but I'm going to try to make that something different.

I think because of all the food I've eaten my whole life, I've stretched my stomach. I'm hungry CONSTANTLY. I have PCOS, so I get hormonal which makes me crave things and there goes the cycle. I hope to break that cycle as well. :scared2:

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I'm fat because food is my drug of choice. I don't like food, I certainly don't love it. It's my nemesis that I have battled since puberty. I've won many battles along the way.:scared2:

Abandonments by my family, husband, boyfriend or boss are my main BIG issues in life. I'm a survivor, but have used food to help me along the way.

Now that I have restriction on my band, eating is really unpleasant. This instaneous feedback is what I need to finally let go of using food to be numb to whatever emotion I am dealing with.

Good Health (Mental and Physical) to us all,

MaggieGT

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I was beautiful, I was healthy and then I had a stepfather who made my life hell.

Without getting into too many details he altered my perception of myself and I felt I had protect by over eating and making myself "ugly".

I went through much therapy and I found that I no longer need to hide myself behind so much food and unhappiness, sounds corny right?

Not so much for me, it is true, and I have found myself with a lap band to help me on the way, I just couldn't do it by myself and I am not ashamed to have this assistance, this tool :willy_nilly:

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I also was told I was fat when I weighed 113 lbs in Jr High.

I too use food as my drug of choice.

I have an addictive personality. My family history is full of alcoholics.

I eat for all emotions I have.

I am thankful for this band. It's helping me get that all under control. I will be victorious.

Linda in WA

Banded 10/30/09

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I do everything in excess. I was a drug addict for many years and I'm 7 years clean after medical withdrawal.

That may be a part of it...so many years starving, as soon as I went clean I packed on the weight because I guess my body thought it would be best to store every calorie into fat in case I was to starve again. I also began eating more after I got off drugs, and got diagnosed with PCOS.

Aside from that, I've always been chubby on and off except for the times I was "voluptuous" as a teen and young adult. I was an "alternative" model.

My mother was a model as well (a very high profile one actually, dare I say supermodel) and had some neurosies about food. We have similar eating patterns now that I think about it. Feast and famine. My problem is that I starve and then binge eat...but unlike her I didn't purge!

I am also anxious. I love walking and walking but only do it at night because I avoid people for the most part despite being a bit of a "social butterfly" sometimes. I've heard nocturnal people are prone to obesity and I also "feast or famine" when it comes to exercise. I loaf around all week and then maybe go for an epic 7 hour walk the next week.

I guess I loaf and exercise in excess too.

Felt good to type that!!

Edited by Razorgirl

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Like anything, it's a combination of things as to why I'm fat.

I know this always sounds like a copout, but some of it is genetic. My aunts are heavy; my female cousins are heavy. No one is super-obese, but over 200 is the norm. Usually after having kids.

I can lose weight, of course I can, and I have, but have found that I have to go to such extremes (strict dieting and strict amounts of exercise (1-2) hrs a day) to get a steady weight loss or maintain the loss that I can't or don't keep it up long-term. I know some people down an egg-white omelette and then hit the gym before a salad for lunch, but I can't maintain that and my sanity at the same time.

The foods I like are not diet foods. They are savory - cheese, milk, Protein, rice, Pasta. I don't eat huge amounts, for example I almost always eat only half a restaurant portion and take the rest home, but I eat just enough of the "wrong" foods to result in a long-term slow weight gain. I am also notorious for not being able to sleep on an empty stomach, and late night eating is not the greatest idea.

I don't like "diet foods"

I can be an emotional eater - don't taste the food, just eat.

So ... the usual ... too many calories, don't exercise enough to keep the calories off. Not the best eating habits. And probably some metabolic stuff that makes for it being more difficult for me to keep the weight off without more effort than I am comfortable putting out long term.

Basically, I don't mind eating less or exercising regularly. Sometimes I think I could go without eating at all .... if I could just do it without the hunger. But, I'd rather eat small portions of the foods I like, and be satisfied with that.

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I also think genetics play a role in our weight. All the women on my mom's side are heavy. My father is also overweight. It makes sense to me that 2 overweight people would have overweight children.

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1. Dysfunctional family (severly abusive + alcoholic father), never really sat down to dinner w/ my family. It was always fend for yourself

2. Decreased self-esteem and depression = comfort eater

3. Genetics

4. Stress

5. Easy, quick + convenient food during college, never developed healthy eating habits

6. Lack of exercise after highschool

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I think my fat comes from a variety of things:

1. Genetics - ALL the women in my family are heavy. They have been fighting their weight all of their lives. We MUST have low metabolism. My aunt is the thinnest of us all, and she works HARD. Constant exercise and eats very little, yet she is still far from skinny.

2. I OBSESS over food - See below.

I do have an obsession with food. I think about it constantly. I love to watch cooking shows and our friends make fun of me and my husband because we will get in a conversation about the best chicken fried steak meal in our area or which restaraunt has the best fried pickles. When I am stressed I want to eat, when I am excited I want to eat, when I am sad I want to eat, When I am alone I want to eat and so on and so on. If I am going out to lunch with a friend at work now I have to find out where we are going and sit down at that place's website and figure up a meal in my calorie range. I do this for hours at a time planning just one meal. If I were to go in and not planned I will order my usual bre-banded meals still! Obsession with food is something I am seriously thinking of going to a shrink for. I don't know what started it, but I know it is nothing I can kick on my own.

The reason my band works for me is not because of the little bit of restriction I feel on occasion, but because I told everyone I was having this surgery and now that I have had it I will be the biggest loser ever if I don't lose the weight. All of my friends feel it is so drastic so I feel I would let them down if it didn't work, so see even with the band I am still losing weight for other people and not myself. I don't have excuses anymore for my portions when I have a band. That right there is why I love my band...It no longer lets me make excuses to myself and when you constantly have people asking how you are doing it makes all the differece in the world to not want to look like a loser to them and keep the weight on. Obsession is a biatch!

THats EXACTLY how I feel about food! "When I am stressed I want to eat, when I am excited I want to eat, when I am sad I want to eat, When I am alone I want to eat and so on and so on." As soon as something happens, good or bad, I want to divulge in food! ;)

It's definately an obsession and I think the only thing that keeps me semi on track is the guilt of disappointing the people at my surgeons office and frinds and family that have been so supportive of my decision to get healthy. I wish I could say it was for me... Sometimes, I obsess so much about food, I make myself miserable. A friend of mine calls it head hunger. I rarely feel physical hunger. Maybe I could use some therapy too???

3. I suffer from chronic anxiety and depression - I take medication that is working the best for me EVER, but unfortunatey; one of the side effects is weight gain and increased hunger for sweets. YAY. (one of the reasons I was approved for my surgery)

4. I hate to excerise for a variety of reasons - I dont like to sweat. I am not coordinated, so I look foolish. I have bad knees, so it hurts to do much with them. (one of the reasons I was approved for the surgery)

5. Low self esteem and poor eating habits growing up. I was never told I was fat by my family, but kids were extremely cruel to me as a child. My mom never cooked a vegitable and rarely made meals that didnt come out of a can or box. Corn, pork and Beans, instant mashed potatoes, spam and a hell of a lot of hamburger helper.

I'd like to place blame on all the above, but I know in the end, it is up to me to help myself. I've no one to blame for my fat, but me. Knowing that doesnt usually help tho. I've been battling my depression again lately, and managed over the course of 3 weeks to put on 7 pounds that i'd already lost! I cant stop thinking about Cookies and snacks! I think its self sabotage... Will this obsession ever cease or will I be fighting it till my dying day?:laugh:

Edited by StrangeDz

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I am fat for a few reasons.

The women on both sides of my family "spread out" after having a child. We all start out very small (i was a size 6 before I had my first child). After i had my baby girl i went from a 6 to a 10. I lost almost ago if it just by keeping up my active lifestyle. 3 years later i had another child and went to a size 13. Loosing it was harder but i just amped up my activity (not hard to do with two young children and being in college).

my real trouble came with my last son. I got hammered with diabetes, ended up on bed rest and in my 6th month was in a car accident that broke both legs. I got very large and after my last baby there were complications. i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and given lithium at very high doses along with a slew of other medications (doc cycled them in and out and none seemed to work). The lithium destroyed my thyroid and left me in a near zombie like state for over a year. in a moment of clarity i flushed all those evil meds down the toilet. I got better but by now i was nearly 300 pounds. The depo shot is the devil BTW it adds weight by the pounds.

So now I find myself trying to be active but in massive pain all of the time. Through meditation and talking things out when I feel myself getting angry my bipolar disorder is under tight control. My body however I feel is a lost cause sometimes. I work out 3 days a week for an hour, 30 in the Water and 30 on a stationary sit down bike (better for my back and knees than the uprights). I can not loose a pound but I never gain. I am going to try lap band as a last resort. My doctor is hopeful that this will some how kick my thyroid and metabolism back into start.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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