Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Why are YOU Fat?



Recommended Posts

I alays tell people that New Jersey made me fat. When I moved to "the burbs" from Manhattan after my second daughter was born my lifestyle changed dramatiacly. I was on my @$$ more than I had ever been before. I no longre walked to the subway to go to work, but walked to the garage to get in my car. There are no sidewalks here, which make walking just plain dangerous! I used to walk 20 blocks to work in NYC when I was 8 months pregnant because I enjoyed walking.

But tuly, it's been more than that I know. I know that food is like a drug for me. I am the oldest sisiter who feeds everyone, whenever my siblings need comfort they come to me to be fed. LOL One day my sisier came over, she was so upset and I said I wish there was something I could do, she said Feed me, that's what you do, that's what I need.

Living with lots of stress and having an addict in my life has also made me become a food addict I think. BUT!!!! I was banded on 03/05/07 - have lost 17 lbs and have resisted temptation so far. I pray every night to get me through the next day. Thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nikki - Good luck with your banding. I am being banded on April 16th. I am the oldest in my family too. I was the one who kept the peace and still has the celebration meals. I understand.

You are doing great!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thans for the encouragement DynamoMini -

Good luch with your surgery!

I'll keep you in my prayers too!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was a skinny child. in high school I started getting a little bit of a tummy but certainly not fat. I fought my weight in my 20's and worked out alot and dieted alot. I got married at 34 and couldn't get pregnant. Infertility testing brought out the fact that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). it is caused by insulin resistance. Overweight gals seemed to have it. when I was diagnosed it was a chicken and egg kind of thing. no one knew if the IR made you fat and gave you the PCOS, or if gaining weight caused the IR and therefore the PCOS. I should see if there's an answer to that now. I am NOT diabetic, but I take glucophage for the PCOS. it's all tied together because insulin is a hormone that can affect your female hormones. I can't help but think that my weight problem got harder to manage as I aged - and wonder if it was the PCOS/IR at work, if I did not have IR/PCOS would it be easier for me to be thin?

Add to that stress. The stress of the infertility treatment. My husband did not want to do it - he didn't want to spend the money, mostly. Then we adopted. Happiness at last, a beautiful baby girl from China. Five mos. after coming home with her he was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 2.5 years later, my mother six months after him (colon cancer). I'll back up - he was heavy, too. the year before we got our daughter we did weight watchers together and worked out at a gym every single day. We each lost 60 pounds - still not enough, but sure made that 18 hour coach class plane flight a little more tolerable. After he was sick I gained back every pound. I stress ate. After he died I continued to stress eat. I'm all alone with my daughter, and she of course has issues of her own. After working all day and getting her in bed, I am mentally pooped and couldn't wait to sit down to something comforting like oreos or chips. That's been the last 18 mos. Now I'm getting a handle on it and am controlling my binge snack eating out of willpower, and see myself as a perfect candidate for the lap band. I need a tool, and I need support, and the surgical group seems to provide a ton of support. they insist on it. Oh, and I do have a problem with Portion Control, I know that - but again it seems like a comforting thing to me. I'll get really nice and full and then I'll feel all taken care of. wrong!

Maybe I'll finally get a handle on my life and be able to move on, lose weight, get some energy, get my life back.

Anyway, I see mine as a combination of psyiological (sp?) and a lack of self control fueled by stress.

My shrink thinks the lap band would be perfect for me and is the one who suggested it, by the way.

Karen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

China mom - I understand the stresses of your life. I, too, was infertile, did some infertility stuff against my husband's wishes, then adopted two wonderful babies. I felt blessed but the adoptions and added stress triggered his alcoholism, we got divorced when the kids were five. Then I remarried two years later and my husband died when the boys turned 13, their adoptive dad died when they were 14 and I have been alone ever since. My weight added on with each tragedy, each time I would lose weight, by a variety of methods, the weight would reappear and grow. Now I am looking at a 100 pound loss needed to have a healthy life. I am being banded on April 16th. I am very excited to take back my life.

Best wishes to you and your dreams,

All the best to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for sharing these very touching and articulate stories. I wish you well with your journeys and hope this is your "magic bullet".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Currently the reasons are hormones and slowed down metablism after late age pregnancy combined with compulsive overeating and in born big appetite. Bad habits over the years and recreational eating as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love this thread! Now that I hear that others with the same sort of issues are being successful with banding, I feel relieved! The last thing I want to do is go through all of this and end up right where I started.

I am fat because I have no impulse control when it comes to food. When I get a craving in my head, it will not go away. Even if I resist for days! Poo on whoever said that if you resist a craving for 15 minutes it will go away.

I am not an emotional eater, although Oprah keeps trying to convince me I am. When I am depressed or mad or whatever, I don't turn to food for comfort. I eat primarily when I am bored, which often I am because I am too tired to get of the coach.

I will say that at times I am an emotional non-denier. That is, if I get a craving when I am upset, I will go ahead and eat it, but I usually do anyway. I don't seek food out when I am emotional. I am a social eater, though. I like to go out to dinner with friends.

I was a skinny kid. I got a little chubby when I hit puberty, but mostly remained on the high end of a healthy weight range until after I grauduated from high school. Then, I suffered from severe, clinical depression for several years. (Thank God for Prozac!) When my brain chemistry was out of wack, I basically did nothing but sleep and eat. I ate to the point of feeling beyond stuffed. I would be hurting from over-eating, yet I was looking in the fridge to see what else there was. Once I started on medication, I started eating normally, but I had gained 60-80 pounds.

I am fat because I eat too much, and I eat too much of the wrong foods. My Sunday School teacher once asked us to write our favorite food on the board. I wrote, "Anything processed!'

Lately, I have noticed that I don't have much of an appetite. I think it's the change in daylight. But has that stopped me from eating? NOOOO!!

Well, wasn't that cathartic?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone's story sounds familar esp. Futurer. My parents were health freaks too and obsessed with weight. I was thin until I got preganant late in life. As far as emotional eating Wellbutrin works well for this type of eating. I tried it for 2 months and lost many inches but then it stopped working and I was back to compulsive overeating, as tho I was making up for the 2 months I had stopped. I know I need someone to keep me on track so I'm hiring a personal trainer who is also a friend well at least that's my thinking right now. Dr. Oz says we need a team of people to get us well ....or eating normally. That includes phychologists, friends, nutritionists, trainers, and sometimes pharmacutical. Who has the time or money for all of this...not me but I was willing to spend $20,000 on an out of pocket procedure with the Lap band. I think the lap band is the most healthy option in the long run. I am currenlty taking Phentermine and it is helping me a lot and exercize which I always overdo when I'm doing it. Both are not really healthy choices. I am convinced the lap band is probably the healthyist way to go but it's not available to everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My problem is Portion Control. The bigger the better. The more the merrier. And I love every bite of it. I am not MO, but severly obese (SO?), I have a band because I know that my problem would make me MO if I waited one minute longer.

Same here. I am not considered a binge eater, portion control is my issue. My BMI is 41 so I am considered MO, I need a life long tool that will remind me that more is always better.

DollyRose

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Perhaps it is not so important to focus "WHY", but to ask "WHAT CAN I DO to reach my goal?" Asking "why" gets you stuck in rumination. Asking "What can I do...." engages the creative part of your brain, the one that spurs excitement about future possibilities and provides momentum for continual forward motion, rather than backward.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

AS they say if we know our history well the chances of repeating it are less. I think if I find out WHY I overeat ...is it compulsive overeating, is it low blood sugar, is it a combination of a hundred things...:help: probably but to know sort of gives you a feeling of control. I am starting a program or doctor supervised diet that will give me reasons (which are mostly lables I know) why I over eat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Terry:

Congratulations on your recent banding! Good for you! You sound like you are doing great. I see that your BMI is even lower than mine! (36) and your goal weight is 5 lbs less than mine but our ages are the same. How did you get approval for surgery? Was it difficult? Did insurance cover it? I bet you feel great with the 11lbs off. I haven't lost weight in ages..only gaining here since I turn 45 especiallY !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know this sounds totally stupid, but at least you all can put your finger on WHY you are fat. I would love to be able to answer that question. Since age 31 I have been mystified and totally frustrated at my weight. I was a normal weight until then. After the birth of my second child I had terrible post partum depression. I lost most of my baby weight, but had a terrible problem with post partum depression. At least that's what I thought it was. OB/GYN put me on prozac. With no changes in my diet and I was still exercising regularly, I gained a whopping 60 pounds in 18 months with no explanation. Several years passed. liquid diets for weeks on end would only show a loss of 6 - 8 pounds. I GAINED weight on weight watchers. I cried bitter tears for so long. Finally I was told I had a thyroid problem. HOORAY! I'll take thyroid medication and finally get the weight off. WRONG. It never happened. Went on every diet imaginable and even had physcian supervised weight loss medication. Minimal results. I rarely snack. I don't eat desert. I don't care for chocolate or sodas. I eat very healthy foods. Eating is not a priority. Sometimes I forget to eat. Admittedly, I don't exercise. At 260 pounds the arthritis in my knees, hips and spine is now unbearable and makes it difficult. The lap band will be my last resort. I can't help but think that even this won't help me. If it doesn't I don't know if I could take that emotionally. I'm really scared to try. So what crazy category do I fit into???????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×