For those with BMI 35-40?

[snowbird 2]

Gma,

Excuse me, but you are over 50, 100 lb overweight, and he thinks there is no reason for this "elective" surgery? Maybe he should talk to a doctor to learn what your chances are of a long and healthy life from here on in. Now that you have written them down, you should see that they are all selfish reasons he doesn't want you to be healthy and happy. Tell him to bundle up HIS insecurities and stick them . . . away. he might as well be saying he doesn't care if you die early as long as he gets what he wants. You don't need to go through with this to spite him. You may need to go through it for yourself.

[rakes4321 0]

Wow! I had my surgery on the 25th at 11am. The nurse that wheeled me down was short, thin, and blonde. She squirreled up her nose and said "oh honey, you don't need this surgery, don't do it." I made some benign comment to get off the subject. THEN......a pregnant co worker walked by and comments were made like At least I have a reason to eat the way I do. She, of course, didn't know what surgery I was having,but the nurse that was pushing me started in on her drug habbit! Like Mary J habbit! Like let's go toke up habbit! Like I wanted to slap her habbit! Anyway, I was glad to not have her involved in my day any more than she was.

On the hubby thing. My bmi is just over 36...the only reason that I qualified was that they found out that I have sleep apnea, barely. He was totally against it. I know the freaken effort that Ihave put into this, so does he. I certainly didn't want to just do something against his wishes just to spite him because it is my body. I know it wouldn't work for us if we werent' both on board. It may sound funny, but I prayed about it. Not only does God care about the little things, He cares about the huge things. For me, this was HUGE. I left it alone for a while and one day broached the topic again and he looked at me and said " Amy, I love you. I know how hard you have worked at this and you have some hurdles that you need a little help with. Let's do this." He has been so supportive ever since! He actually felt a little food guilt yesterday when he made some Cookies with our two small boys and he ate around 5 cookies. He looked at me and said, "maybe I need a band" He is so funny, he is a triathlete, yet those cookies have a control that is like no other. I was mad at him at first for making them right when I got home from the hospital, but I took one sniff and wasn't interested. Man, I love this little band! Back to the man thing. You really want him on board, as much as you can. He will be your best friend through this, because the recovery can be a bit ruff. Get information into his hands, set up an apt with your doc and ask him to come. Tell him that his support means the world to you. You'll think of the right things to say. And hopefully, he will come around. I will pray that, like mine, yours will too.

Peace out,

Amy

[NUBarb45 0]

My BMI is 36 and I have told a few people that I plan on getting the Lp Band. My close friends are very supportive. They know how much I stuggle with my weight. Some people have said negative things but they will never feel what I am feeling unless they too are obese. I would not sneak to drink liquids at work. Be proud of your decision to become a better healthier you. Most of these people have some type of insecuities themselves. WE all carry some type of weight be it physical or not. I hope to have my surgery the 1st week of March. Good luck to you all.

[Marlu77 0]

My BMI was 36 but I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholestoral and other issues related to weight. So, my reasons for the surgery weren't just about looking better. A few people were surprised that I was doing this because they didn't think I needed it. But, those people didn't know about my other medical problems. Everyone has been totally supportive. Diabetes runs in my family and it scared me to have it continue out of control. It's now in control and my doctor is very pleased. I hope you get the support you need from your husband and from this forum. Go ahead and do it. Do it for you.

[KBosco 0]

OMG!!! I feel like we are the same person!!! I have to say I have gotten support from the majority of friends that know except ONE. She too drinks to medicate, not to mention, she has an issue with me being 7 years younger than her!! I think she is afraid of losing the security of having her "fat friend"

[kbinaz 0]

What really kills me is that if you decided you wanted to have your boobs done or get a Tummy Tuck everyone would be applauding you for making yourself happy and for 'doing whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself' and those surgeries are pure vanity and only cosmetic.

[Blund 0]

This is a great topic. I'm at 36 BMI and my first surgeon appt is next week. I'm worried I wont have enough comorbidities to get insurance approval, but on the other hand, I have BCBS PPO. I have only told one friend and DH that I'm looking into it. They are supportive so far. But like someone else said, I dont know if I will tell anyone else! At least not until I have to. I get the "you're not that big" and "your're tall so you carry it well" which isn't a good thing either! I'm so tired of yo yo-ing and fighting this by myself. I really feel this "tool" of LBS will help me greatly. And thats all that matters--is what I feel about it.

GmaDebi, are there maybe some underlying issues your DH isn't communicating to you? Like maybe being fearful and showing it as being curt with you? I know mine can be less than (ha ha) talkative! The seminar on LBS warned us that the whole thing is stressful on a marriage. Good luck! (TO ALL OF US)

[Startingover! 0]

My BMI is just over 35 and I just got my PCM to give me a referral to the surgeon. My appt with him is on Wednesday. I'm so excited, but worried that my insurance won't approve it. But I do have sleep apnea, GERD, plus I've had 3 knee surgeries in 3 years and my weight keeps going up. So I'm hoping that with all these things considered it will slip by the insurance! But I have gotten the same response from a few people that I "wasn't that big". They don't realize how hard it is to lose weight with medical problems that keep you from leading a normal life. Hopefully I'll get approved and this will all be a thing of the past!!

[beanqueen 0]

I found your comments very interesting. My bmi is over 50 and I to have to explain to some why This is all I have left. I was telling a good friend about the restrictions of being this big and he was shocked. He had never concidered movies and resteraunts or travel to be a broblem for us. I am to be banded on Friday Feb 1. Most friends nervous for me but most excited. Some not so much..

[Sandy Beach 4]

My BMI was 32.5 I had surgery 01/21/08. Call down to Mexico it take a week to set a date and it over. My dh is supportive but it was over before he had much time to think about it. As for telling anyone no needs to know accept dh. I am one happy woman. Love my band think I'll give her a name.

[RomeGA3 0]

I have a low BMI such that I only barely qualify in Mexico, but I did this because I have been battling the same 50-60 pounds for over 20 years, and by gosh, ENUF'S ENUF!

I went through a lengthy research process on my own and came around to the personal decision that this was the best thing for MY long-term mental and physical well-being. I have TOLD ALMOST NO ONE, because I knew I would get nothing but grief...especially about going to MX... But I am positive this was the right thing for me to do.

I think you have to come to terms with the truth that this is your body and your life, and no one else's. You have to live with the consequences of doing it or not doing it, in the end. When I considered it, I came to the realization that I had to make my own decision and not let others sway me (especially yay-hoos who really don't "rate" like the random nurse, stranger, co-worker).

Just my 2 cents. Best of luck to you!

[sta6160 0]

my BMI was somewhere between 35-38 I didn't really make that my main focus. If you're overweight, you know it, your doctor knows it, your body knows it. There are so many other illnesses that obesity makes worse - diabetes, sleep apnea, joint pain, etc. My highest weight was 205 last March, and I'm 5'1" - once I went over the 200 mark that was it - I just knew it wouldn't take me as long to hit 300 lbs.

I've had a few comments like you're not that fat - well it's because I carry it all over my body, not just my butt or hips. Even my very best friend of the last 20 years has not been supportive of my surgery. She says she just couldn't do that to herself or she likes to eat anything she wants, or who will she have to go to dinner with - I'm trying not to let me get down. I made this decision for my health, to see my boys (27 and 25) live their lives and be here to see my grandchildren grow up.

My surgery was last week and lost 28 lbs preop - want to lose another 50-60 lbs- can't wait to see myself this time next year when I've accomplished my goal!!

So I say, do it for yourself, no one else - don't let what other's think rule your life. I'm done with worrying about what others think, and only what I want from this life we are blessed with.

[Blund 0]

Nice to hear simular stories. I calculated my BMI from a web site at 36 1/2. I'm 5'8" and 240 lbs. My highest weight EVER and I'll be 44 years old soon. Life keeps going by faster and faster, and I have better things to do than struggle anymore. I have sleep apnea (have been using the C-PAP), depression, & joint and foot pain. As far as blood sugar and colestrol, my numbers are low. I hope I have enough "ammunition" for BC to approve me. My surgeon appt is next Wed too, and I'm getting excited. I'm concerned the insurance might not like my lack of "hard copy" Dr history. I've only been seeing my Primary Dr for a year and a half after relocating here, and my medical records are all over the place. I hope the Drs take my word regarding my history with weight loss attempts, and I hope the insurance company takes the Dr's word! I really doubt if I could get copies of all my records easily. I hope it doesnt come to that! I couldnt even get a copy of my previous mamogram from them! I did sit down and compose my own history on paper for the surgeon. Going to MX makes me nervous, and I'm in N. Michigan so its pretty far.....

[mediummike 0]

I'm getting a lot of "are you sure ?" as well. I am 40 years old, 6'3" with a BMI of 40. Have always been "big mike" (hence the new login name). I am getting banded Feb 13 and can not wait ! I feel that as long as I have the support of my pcp (who has seen my weight yo-yo through the years and was the person who initially reffered me to lap band), and my surgeon, I do not need others to buy into it. My plan is simple - if people ask how I lost the weight - I will tell them. Otherwise, I won't be looking for buy in. Good luck to all !

[Blund 0]

I like your plan meduimmike. Kind of "don't ask, don't tell." But like you said, if they ask and are persistant, I'll give. I've only told my 1 friend and my hubby. Have no plans to tell anyone else at this point, although my going into the hospital (if approved) will cause some questions from my kids. Not sure how to handle them if the time comes. They're 5,7,and 9, and you know how they go to school and tell things to everyone! Any ideas out there on how to (or not to) tell little ones?