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Ladies and Guys I NEED some advice!



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You know how I told ya'll he was in Iowa and he left Thursday. Well I haven't heard a peep until about an hour ago he TEXT me and said "didn't forget was okay trip will call first chance I get" lol I haven't called him, text him, or anything before the text and I will continue not to now! I am actually surprised he text already. I was waiting to see how long it would take for him to communicate in any form...he exceeded my expectations tho...surprise surprise.

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The text message is just to make sure you are still waiting for him... dangling the carrot. Get rid of him now because he will continue to do this to you. I know because I had someone like that in my life for many years. The bottom line is they won't make a commitment to you but they don't want to be without you. Not worth the heartache. For the record, I also had commitment & self esteem issues which is why I kept someone like that in my life.

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if he doesn't want me then why does he bother driving and hour and a half for nothing? and spending money on me when he's got a girl he lives with and "loves" too

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Ashley,

He is called a CAKE EATER. You know, from the saying have your cake and eat it too.

I don't want to say it will be easy to get over him but it will.

I don't want to say that it is what you sHOULD do, but it is.

I don't AT ALL want to say that you are too young......but man I feel like an old lady writing this.

True love, true RESPECT comes from a man who does not "love" someone else.

He makes your toes curl (that's what I get from reading this thread). We all know how that is.

What it is not is noble.

What it is not is respectful of YOU!

Whatever you do I wish you well. I hope no one gets hurt.

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its so weird cause I know that if I had someone I loved at home with me, I wouldn't want to worry about someone who lives an hour or so away and then spend money on them too. I just don't get it. lol He may be getting cake at home but he's not getting it here. If ya get my drift. And he knows as long as their together he wont be getting cake! We've already had that discussion and I put my foot down. But he insist that it's not sex he wants from me...he says that he can't imagine losing the friendship that we established when we were together and he loves personality and free spirit. He cried when I told him I was leaving and we didn't need to talk anymore, but of course he talked me out of that decisions again.

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if he doesn't want me then why does he bother driving and hour and a half for nothing? and spending money on me when he's got a girl he lives with and "loves" too

My man used to drive a long distance to be with me. He would take me to dinner and spend time with me, my family and me with his but he was never going to make a commitment to me. He loved me in his own way but the bottom line was he didn't love me enough. Nor I him, I guess but I didn't look at that at the time. Do what works for you... no comment on here is going to help you decide because you will only decide when you are ready to. You can tell yourself all sorts of stories about he does this, so it means this but it won't change anything. If he's not there committed to you and you alone, then nothing else he does matters. Good luck with finding your answer.

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Gosh men are weird!! lol I think I know who most of them will vote for Mitt Romney cause he's mormon and they have more than 1 wife!! grr!! I guess I am just bitter. I don't like being that way but I don't like the fact of letting him go. He's been like a best friend and has been there for me through most of really tough times in my life I guess that is why it's so hard and I was with him through alot of hard times for him so I guess its just a scary thing neither of us wants to let go....

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Yeh...I feel like its time..he's pissed me off to no end this time. He got back from Iowa and text me I didn't next back. Well I got on yahoo today and he had sent me an offline saying sorry I havent called I have been busy with mom and my little sis I'll call tomorrow or tonight whenever kim gets out of the house. I know when she goes to work and he still hasnt called!! I am about to blow a fuse and thats rare for me. I have been so good about this and he takes advantage of it all!! I can't believe some of the shit I have put up with but it's stoppin! I am not even gonna answer the phone if he even calls cause if I do I'd blow his hair back and prolly start crying again. And I have already shed more than enough tears for this ass hole. okay and I am gonna post a pic of the other guy and russell and you tell me what cha think :smile:

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I can't find any pics of russell that doesn't have me and him in them so i def aint putting them on here! lol but he looks no where near as fine as mr matt above! lol

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Such a cutie - I would say give the guy a chance :smile:

You are young - don't strap yourself down with some jerk who can't commit to just datin one girl! In the beginning is when it's supposed to be the best as far as behavior so it would indicate his actions would only get worse later on.

Good luck!!

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I would say not to answer anything from the guy. No phone calls, no yahoos, no texts. He'll get the idea eventually. If it's *just* friendship he wants, that would be one thing, but if he's feeding you lines, and you're biting, you both know it's not only friendship he wants and he's just biding his time.

Also, knowing that he has another girlfriend doesn't make you responsible for making sure that he doesn't cheat on her, but at the same time, if he left her, and came to you, how would you ever know he didn't start seeing someone else, telling them all the same things he keeps telling you while being with this girl?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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