Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Anyone else scared of not being successful? I have been on so many diets and lost/regained too much weight in the past. I emotionally can't take disapointing myself again. I am so nervous that I won't be able to keep it together. Does anyone else worry about not being able to drink diet coke, or drinks in general with meals? Choosing the right foods? Reducing portions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I am very scared. I have tried so many times and let myself down, lost weight only to regain it plus more. Said "this time, it will be different" whenever I rejoined Weight Watchers. I have beat myself up about my lack of willpower and told myself that all of this discomfort that I'm feeling with my body is all my fault -- there is nobody to blame but me. But obviously that tactic hasn't worked, since here I am at my highest weight ever.

It is difficult to give myself the pep talk and tell myself that this time really will be different. It won't be easy, but I'll have a tool I never had before. I have researched this to death and I know what I have to do to make the band successful. But yes, I am definitely scared of not only disappointing myself and my husband, but wasting the money since I am self pay. I worry about dealing with all of the eating behavior changes.

Still, I am tired of waiting to live...and all we can do is try and imagine how being successful will feel. I imagine it'll feel even better that getting accepted to college, or graduating from college, or getting married -- all things I didn't think I would ever do because I have such low self-esteem.

I think that another tool for me, in addition to the band, will be getting some counseling. I will change my body with the band but I also have to change what's going on in my head and figure out why I developed these behaviors to begin with. I think that will help.

Just wanted you to know that you weren't alone -- I can't imagine anybody not being scared, unless they're really naive. :) We can do this!

Anyone else scared of not being successful? I have been on so many diets and lost/regained too much weight in the past. I emotionally can't take disapointing myself again. I am so nervous that I won't be able to keep it together. Does anyone else worry about not being able to drink diet coke, or drinks in general with meals? Choosing the right foods? Reducing portions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks you summarized my thoughts perfectly (including the weight watchers comment). I am glad to know I am not alone. The statistics are on our side for a positive outcome. WE CAN DO IT!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just want some success, that will be motivation for me to keep going. I'm tired of playing with the same 5 to 20 pounds. I am too, tired of waiting to live!

Alyssa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you hit the nail on the head with the counseling. I to am going to under-go some counseling. I must find out why I eat the way I do. Also, I am fearful that my food addiction will turn into something else and I do not want that to happen either.

I was just driving home yesterday after eating a LARGE supper and thought can I really do this? I know we can and we will. I heard a quote from Aristotle and it goes something like this....

We are what we repeatedly do. Therefore excellence is a habit not an act. What kind of habit are you practicing today?

I am going to have this posted up everywhere I go. I love it.

:clap2::lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

tru dat!!! I too am scared to death of not succeeding, but you can also sabotage yourself with that kind of thinking, you must believe not only is it attainable, but that you totally deserve it!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I glad to know I am not the only one who is scared. I don't want to let myself down or my husdand. I am at my largest ever weight and it makes me sick. I know if I have to do something. I just worry I will not lose the weight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Look, none of us would be getting the band if we didn't have a history of failure when it comes to losing weight. This is not something any of us are doing lightly (no pun intended!).

Yes, I'm scared. I'm especially scared because the nurse practitioner at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, MA, where I'm being banded, says that the majority of people she sees do not reach their goal. I'm determined not to be one of those people.

This is loaded for all of us here and we carry a lot of emotional baggage -- history of failure, history of beating ourselves up over our failure, history of feeling badly about ourselves.

I for one am sick of it! I deserve better than that. For once in my life, I want the issue of weight to go away. Being banded is my hope that I will be able to lose and then, maintain the loss successfully.

I don't worry about not being able to have carbonated drinks. I stopped drinking Coke and all that stuff years ago, when someone told me it's like pouring chemicals down your throat. My nemesis is Portion Control and food craving. And to get a handle on these, I need to remember to go back to Lahey, no matter what, and get fills, fills, fills -- if that's what it takes.

I want all of us here to be successful. We can cheer one another on.

So let's go -- rah, rah, rah!

Is everyone excercising? I think that portion control and excercise are the key to the whole thing.

My surgery date is Feb. 11th. I've chosen not to tell anyone -- except my husband, of course. I'm not telling my kids or my mother. My husband is not happy regarding my decision and is giving me a bit of a hard time about it, but hey, it's my surgery and this is what I've decided is right for me. I guess it goes back to the fear of failure. Until I know that I can really do this for sure, I don't want anyone knowing. I don't want questions, I don't want expectations. I'm hard enough on myself without having anyone else be hard on me...

bonnie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I'm scared of failing. That's what I do best. However, I am also feeling optimistic for the first time in well over a decade so I'm hopeful!

bonnie, come to us for support. We'll be here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay -- I'll take you up that. Here I am! And I'm ready for all the support you can give me. I'm very good at giving support back -- this isn't a one-way ticket to Dodge.

How are you doing on your exercise? I'm really good with exercise -- I used to be quite the athlete. If you have any questions regarding exercise or need motivation or whatever, I'm your girl.

I'd like to eat healthfully, without binging or going off of my diet, from now until my surgery date. I feel the more weight I lose, the easier the surgery will be and the better I'll feel. I'm just so sick of being FAT!

b.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i'm scared of failing, but after 40 years i'm more scared of the alternative... doing nothing and getting bigger and bigger. it takes courage to try. we have the courage. i admire all of us for doing this... you can do it too.

t

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey bonnie! I went through about a six to eight month period about a decade ago when I was an exercise addict. And....that was that. lol I never did it before and I never did it after.

However, I'm hoping a little of that addiction transfer happens after I can't eat all the time and I can get back into the swing of things. There is a YMCA about 40 minutes from my house and I'm going to join it after I heal from the surgery. Also, I've set a very small goal for myself of at least fifteen minutes of something a day for the rest of January. It beats nothing!

bonnie, is your husband going to go with you when you have the surgery? Do your sons know you've decided to go forward with it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hiya Gibson Girl,

Yes, my husband will be there for me during the surgery. He's supportive of my getting the lapband, but he doesn't like the fact that I'm not telling anyone.

You know, I don't want to tell anyone, because I've failed to lose weight so many times before -- I'd rather keep my mouth shut and just let the weight loss speak for itself....

I'm getting really anxious. Yesterday, Lahey Clinic in Burlington, MA -- the place I'm having my lapband done, called. They're moving my surgery date up. I was scheduled for Feb. 11th, but am now going in on Feb. 4th. Knowing that I'm two weeks away from this makes me nervous, even though I'm absolutely going thru with it. No chickening out here!

I've been a steady exerciser for a very long time. Unfortunately, since I've gained a huge amount of weight in the last year, I've stopped being an exercise nut. I know once I get back into the swing of things I'll become an exercise nut again -- especially once I feel I can move in my body. I can help motivate you to exercise if you'd like. I'm good at that.

Glad to meet you!

b.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi gals...

Isn't it great to have this support system!! Oh god....I'm so scared!! And yes....I think it's fear of failure not fear of the surgery. I've had plenty of surgeries in my time. Bonnie....you have every right to NOT tell people of the surgery. I have told a SELECT few....people that I can count on to support me, not be judgemental, and help me if needed. God bless my hubby who is soooo supportive and awesome. But mostly...god bless this group!! I'm getting banded on 2/5 (Fat Tuesday) and started my pre-op diet yesterday. It's basically 3 shakes on one low carb meal a day for two weeks. Since doing my marathon in October I haven't done a LICK of exercise. Going to the gym tonight and ready to come full circle with this committment and process. I think we are all brave and courageous for taking this step and making this all important committment to our health. We can do it girls!!!

Amy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that everyone says the lap band is a tool and not a solution. This worries me. So much of my eating is in my head. Since I'm going to be banded in less than two weeks, how will I get the destructive thoughts about food out of my head and get on the lap band wagon? I don't want to fail at this. My biggest fear is of failure. I've failed over and over and over again on "diets," and so, it's natural that failure is the first thing that come to mind when I think about getting the lapband. Tell me how you all did it!

Thanks!

b.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×