Struggling to stop losing

[LindsayT 572]

I have hit my goal of 140 the end of February a d went into maintenance. I have since lost 4 more lbs, down to 136. I know there will be fluctuations and I'm okay with that. But I'm still consistently losing (3lbs in last 10 days). I've upped my calorie intake and still... What's going on? I don't want to lose much more, I'm already a size 2, but I don't want to overdo it either for the sake of not losing.

[summerseeker 1,985]

You may need to eat a lot more calories than you think in order to maintain. It all depends on your body and activity. My team told me to up my calories by 100 per day until I found the sweet spot. Being fairly inactive this winter, I am ok on 1400 as an average

[BlondePatriotInCDA 308]

3 hours ago, LindsayT said:

I have hit my goal of 140 the end of February a d went into maintenance. I have since lost 4 more lbs, down to 136. I know there will be fluctuations and I'm okay with that. But I'm still consistently losing (3lbs in last 10 days). I've upped my calorie intake and still... What's going on? I don't want to lose much more, I'm already a size 2, but I don't want to overdo it either for the sake of not losing.

Its just like doing a Keto diet for life, you each week up your carbs until you fall out of ketosis than back off by 5-10 grams then maintain that carb load for life. You do the same for calories, increase by 100 for two weeks, still losing..tack on another 100 each few weeks until weight loss stops, now you've found your maintenance calorie load.

[Spinoza 1,259]

Differences in size never cease to amaze me. I am almost exactly the same weight as you but 3 inches taller and I am a US size 8-10. No idea how that happens.

OP I am a firm believer in the concept of a new set weight after bariatric surgery. I would have been happy 15 or 20 pounds heavier than where I settled. That was my goal actually. After I got into that ballpark I didn't try to lose any more, but it just happened. And then, eating very much the same stuff, my loss then stopped. And I've maintained thereabouts for a year or more with very little effort.

If you can keep eating healthy and nutritious foods then could you just see where that gets you to? There are lots of healthy people with a BMI of 25+ and lots with a BMI of 19-. You'll find yourself somewhere in the middle eventually I suspect.

[LindsayT 572]

I've been eating my recommended calories for maintenance, but still losing. I'm hoping it's just my body is just settling in. I feel good. I look good. I just don't wait to get any smaller. I'm about a 22 BMI, rn.

[Spinoza 1,259]

I think you're good. Just keep on keeping on!

[NickelChip 1,012]

You can take my advice with a grain of salt since I've never been in the position of losing too much weight and am only 4 weeks post-op, but I think at this point your best bet is to ignore calories and just listen to your body. Eat if you're hungry, don't eat if you're not, and focus on nutritious food. Your body will stop losing weight when it feels like it. I agree with @Spinoza that I think the surgery gives you a new set point. It's best to just see what that is and only worry about it if it's so low that it's unhealthy. More than likely, it'll bounce back up on its own if it's too low for you to maintain. But better you bounce up to where your goal was initially than put the brakes on now and then bounce up 10 lbs higher than you wanted in a year.

[Arabesque 6,840]

I kept losing for almost another year after I reached my goal. It began at a similar rate of loss as I was experiencing but gradually got less & less until it stopped. Over that time I increased my calorie intake (added more & more snacks) & my portions got a little larger. I was eating about 1300 calories when I initially stopped losing but eat about 1500/1600 to maintain at about the same weight now.

Like @Spinoza, I’m a believer in our changed set point. This is the weight my body is happy at & this is the weight it wants me to be thanks to the surgery. Could I eat my set point up? Yes, if I wanted. I mean that’s what we did before - ate our set point higher. Our original set point wasn’t an obese weight.

Don’t forget you may initially stop at a lower weight than you expected but it may give you wriggle room if you experience the bounce back regain around years 2 or 3.

Give your body time to resettle. Lots of things change when your weight starts to stabilise. Just give it time. Slowly increase those calories. Get in touch with your dietician for ideas of what you can add or how you could adjust your current eating plan.

Good luck.

[ms.sss 15,076]

i lost 10 lbs in the month after reaching goal. and then another 5 or so lbs in thr 2-3 months following.

the fear of losing too much weight is a common concern to those who reach goal (or are nearing it)

it doesn't last long.

slowly up your calories if you can...if u cant now, trust me, you will have no problem later.

if you continue to lose weight over months (not weeks as its way too soon for concern) and you dip below 18.5 BMI and your doc/team is concerned , then that will be your cue to be concerned.

otherwise use this time to figure out what YOUR maintenance calories are (not what is recommended to you as we are all different and require different calorie intakes) and enjoy and bask in your success!

congrats!

[LindsayT 572]

Thanks, everyone!

Let me ask, how'd you handle the comments of "You're too skinny?" I get that from several people and it's infuriating. They are older and I respect them, so I don't want to give a mean comment. Oh, and the stares and jealous looks. In my mind I tell myself, "if your (talking to them in my head 🤷‍♀️) weight were that big and issue to you, then do something about it. That's all I did." An 126 lb weight loss in less than a year is massive change but the comments and looks...so isolating sometimes. Thankfully, another friend of mine has had the surgery as well, so I can talk through it with her. But what really iced my cake is she doesn't get the same stares and comments from the same group we run in. Unless, I'm reading too much into it. People who didn't know me from before look at me or comment me like a "normal" person. For example, I was at the doctor's office yesterday and we were discussing a dose change for a medication, and he said, "for people of healthy weight, such as yourself... " I just want to video it and play on repeat. Sorry, my passive aggressive fell out 😂

[NickelChip 1,012]

1 minute ago, LindsayT said:

They are older and I respect them, so I don't want to give a mean comment.

Dang. That eliminates what I would say.

I will say this, though. Did these same people tell you to your face you were "too fat" when you were obese and your weight was actively trying to shorten your lifespan? Or is it just your skinniness that worries them? Because you are right in the middle of a healthy weight range right now. You could drop to 125 lbs and STILL be 100% healthy and normal weight. So, if these people weren't telling you every day when you were 262 lbs how worried they were about your weight, I don't think I'd trust their judgement where weight is concerned. I'm not saying the comments don't come from a place of love, but they do seem to come from a place of ignorance.

[LindsayT 572]

37 minutes ago, NickelChip said:

Dang. That eliminates what I would say.

I will say this, though. Did these same people tell you to your face you were "too fat" when you were obese and your weight was actively trying to shorten your lifespan? Or is it just your skinniness that worries them? Because you are right in the middle of a healthy weight range right now. You could drop to 125 lbs and STILL be 100% healthy and normal weight. So, if these people weren't telling you every day when you were 262 lbs how worried they were about your weight, I don't think I'd trust their judgement where weight is concerned. I'm not saying the comments don't come from a place of love, but they do seem to come from a place of ignorance.

We really didn't know each other that well then, so I don't think they would have said anything when I was overweight... In fact nobody did. I've even had people tell me that they didn't notice that I was over weight. Weird. And I guess, sure. I have friends who are overweight and I don't "see" it because I love and care for them. The problem for me, is I carry what weight I have very well and look way smaller than my weight suggests, which might spur the comments. I also dress myself in a way that makes me appear smaller, so 🤷‍♀️ I've included the most recent picture. My jeans are a 2 and my shirt is a small

[NickelChip 1,012]

14 minutes ago, LindsayT said:

We really didn't know each other that well then, so I don't think they would have said anything when I was overweight... In fact nobody did. I've even had people tell me that they didn't notice that I was over weight. Weird. And I guess, sure. I have friends who are overweight and I don't "see" it because I love and care for them. The problem for me, is I carry what weight I have very well and look way smaller than my weight suggests, which might spur the comments. I also dress myself in a way that makes me appear smaller, so 🤷‍♀️ I've included the most recent picture. My jeans are a 2 and my shirt is a small

Well, I think you look spectacular and very healthy. The transformation is absolutely stunning!

I also think as our population trends heavier, we don't see the extra weight as much. I was a chubby kid, and I was like one of maybe 3 chubby kids in my entire grade, not just my class. I dieted like an idiot as a teen and got down to 126 lbs and I was nowhere close to the thinnest person in my friend group. Nobody said anything about me getting too skinny, for sure. I gained weight in college and by the time I graduated, I was overweight again, and obese by the time I hit my late 20s. I always felt like the biggest person in the room (at, like 210 lbs).

But by the time I was in my mid-30s, I started seeing bigger people than me all around. Everyone was getting bigger. My weight went up to 225, but many of the parents of kids in my daughters' grades were way bigger than that. It almost had an insulating effect from my own weight gain, because I was no longer the biggest person in the room. I just kind of looked normal.

When a friend heard I was getting bypass, her first response was "but you're not that big" and at this point I was 250 lbs with a 40+ BMI, plus high blood pressure, prediabetes, and high cholesterol. And this was from a person who is in the healthy BMI range and never been overweight. So I definitely think we've become so used to seeing larger people that we think "obese" is a term reserved for the people on television shows who weigh 600+ pounds.

And, of course, the rapid weight loss from surgery is jarring so people notice it more. But don't let their comments get to you!

[LindsayT 572]

3 minutes ago, NickelChip said:

Well, I think you look spectacular and very healthy. The transformation is absolutely stunning!

I also think as our population trends heavier, we don't see the extra weight as much. I was a chubby kid, and I was like one of maybe 3 chubby kids in my entire grade, not just my class. I dieted like an idiot as a teen and got down to 126 lbs and I was nowhere close to the thinnest person in my friend group. Nobody said anything about me getting too skinny, for sure. I gained weight in college and by the time I graduated, I was overweight again, and obese by the time I hit my late 20s. I always felt like the biggest person in the room (at, like 210 lbs).

But by the time I was in my mid-30s, I started seeing bigger people than me all around. Everyone was getting bigger. My weight went up to 225, but many of the parents of kids in my daughters' grades were way bigger than that. It almost had an insulating effect from my own weight gain, because I was no longer the biggest person in the room. I just kind of looked normal.

When a friend heard I was getting bypass, her first response was "but you're not that big" and at this point I was 250 lbs with a 40+ BMI, plus high blood pressure, prediabetes, and high cholesterol. And this was from a person who is in the healthy BMI range and never been overweight. So I definitely think we've become so used to seeing larger people that we think "obese" is a term reserved for the people on television shows who weigh 600+ pounds.

And, of course, the rapid weight loss from surgery is jarring so people notice it more. But don't let their comments get to you!

Thank you for sharing your story. There is a lot of truth to it for sure.

[ShoppGirl 3,749]

I would love to say don’t worry about the comments but the honest truth is I probably would too. lol. Maybe if you get in to see your team and run it by then they will make you feel better about allowing your body to find its new happy place. Keeping in mind that most people do have some bounce back weight whether it’s the same year or three years down the road you will be lucky in my opinion to have a little cushion there.

I also have to ask, are the people making these comments bigger than you now? Some people could actually be jealous or they just need you to be heavy to make themselves feel better. Maybe They were used to you bejng the overweight friend making them feel better about their own insecurities.

Some may be Thinking things like I may be overweight but it’s not like I’m as big as some people I know (aka you). Now they have to look at themselves and feel what they actually feel without justifying it in that way. Or Perhaps they are thin but they felt inferior to you in some other way and In their mind their insecurity was off set by the fact that you were overweight (I’m not as funny or smart or whatever it may be but at least I’m not overweight). Not sure if that makes sense or if it’s exactly one of those thing but if I had to guess it’s something that is 100% a them thing not a you thing. You are doing great!!