How to explain this to my kids??

[saramelie 20]

I'm pre-op. Scheduled for a sleeve on sept. 12th. I have 2 daughters (11 and 13) who saw me struggle with my weight and try diverse diets all their lifes. I have never openly complained about my weight in front of them, always talking about ""health"" instead, but they are not dumb..... They are both slim/ healthy weight, but one of them barely eats and tends to eat to much sugar..... I just dont know HOW to explain what I'm about to do to my body in order to lose weight. I don't want to screw them up (more?) about weight and dieting......... My dad died of a heart attack at 46 (I'm 42) so I'm thinking of, one again, leading the explanation with the health mindset. How did you do it?

[sleevedinthe817 30]

My kids are a bit younger (10 & 6), but I just came right out and said it. My son (the oldest) has seen me struggle a lot too. Fortunately, my sister had the procedure done before me and he’s come into the room when I’ve watched 600lb Life in the past and saw what those people went through. I explained it back then so bringing it up prior to surgery wasn’t too much of an issue. He understood that it was about health, but also me wanting to look better and feel better about myself. I tell him about how my life growing up as a chubby kid was difficult and I don’t ever want that for him or his sister. My daughter doesn’t really get it yet. She just knows that I had surgery and it’s helping me to ‘get smaller’.

[sleevedinthe817 30]

My kids are a bit younger (10 & 6), but I just came right out and said it. My son (the oldest) has seen me struggle a lot too. Fortunately, my sister had the procedure done before me and he’s come into the room when I’ve watched 600lb Life in the past and saw what those people went through. I explained it back then so bringing it up prior to surgery wasn’t too much of an issue. He understood that it was about health, but also me wanting to look better and feel better about myself. I tell him about how my life growing up as a chubby kid was difficult and I don’t ever want that for him or his sister. My daughter doesn’t really get it yet. She just knows that I had surgery and it’s helping me to ‘get smaller’.

[BabySpoons 531]

Most kids have seen chubby kids at school teased and bullied so I'm sure they get it. Explaining that some people's bodies are broken and need the surgery to fix it should suffice.

GL with your upcoming surgery!

[Breaking notsobad 56]

My surgeon suggested "I'm working on improving my overall health" and the surgery is a part of that.

[Arabesque 6,480]

I didn’t have children to tell but I have several nieces & nephews aged 5-27 now. I never told them about the surgery though it’s likely the older ones knew. They all noticed my weight loss & changed eating habits of course but rarely made comments.

At 7, niece #5 asked why I was so skinny now & I told her it was so she could give me bigger hugs more easily. She looked at me a little quizzically then wrapped her arms around me, squeezing hard & ran off to play. (She often also used to curl up next to me & squeeze the loose skin on my upper arms - it’s so soft & squishy she’d say 😆.) Niece #3 was offering everyone cake at her 13th birthday but when she got to me she simply asked if I’d like some of the strawberries. My mum asked nephew #1 when he was 19, what he thought about my weight loss & if I was different to him now. He looked at me & said nope, she’ll will always just be Sissy to me. Nieces #1 & 2 (in their 20s) & I have have had a few general conversations about nutrition, recipes & lifestyle but nothing specifically about my weight loss. Both are dancers & one has studied nutrition.

These were very interesting, reassuring & also surprising conversations & comments. Their easy acceptance of how I looked, how I ate, etc. & also how to them I still was just me - their bestest aunt. I believe if they asked me more I probably would have focussed on the healthy eating aspect, making changes to be healthier & able to do more with them. Explaining I wasn’t making good choices in the past & have learnt a lot about what I need & what’s best for me. It’s what I tell people whether they know I had surgery or don’t. You may be surprised by your daughter’s reactions too & they may eventually adopt some better/different eating habits simply through the example of your new habits.

All the best.

[New To This23 102]

I think you should just sit them down and tell them you are going to get gastric sleeve and ask them if they have any questions or concerns, also leave the conversation open so they can come to you with questions or concerns as they might think of some later.

I think once you get your surgery it will become a lot easier to maintain the healthy balanced lifestyle you desire and your daughters will see your progress and cheer you on. I also think that your daughters may pick up some of your new healthy habits, for themselves and hopefully learn how to eat and maintain a healthy relationship with food. (something I wish I would have learned when I was a teen)

I do not know how active you are with your kids, or if you plan on taking up new activities, but this could be a great bonding experience for you and your daughters, maybe you all be become expert divers, or hike around the state or world together if you do not already do these things. I just mean you might find something fun that makes activity easy that you guys can do together as you get healthier and healthier.

[Jeanniebug 472]

My children are adults. But, they've seen me struggle with my weight for all of their lives. They know that I had obesity-related health issues. Having the surgery was an attempt to reverse these health conditions and in my case, it worked. Thanks be to God! My children are happy that their mother will perhaps get a chance to bounce grandchildren on her knee, one day.

[saramelie 20]

thanks!