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Resources for partners/family members?



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Hi Folks! I've been browsing the community for awhile now, but with my sleeve scheduled in two weeks (May 30), it's time to dig in.

Does anyone have any recommendations for resources (articles, videos, books? ) for partners/spouses/family members who might benefit from a bit more education (or, reality check?) about what they can expect as a support person for a sleeve patient? I have tried to explain as much as I can to my husband and I believe he wants to be helpful, and he's taking off the first week to help me recover and deal with the kids and household, BUT I would love for him to understand the sheer gravity of this life change. I feel like hearing this information from someone besides me would be really valuable. Like, I am not going to want to cook meals for the two of us the way I used to. He may be on his own for meals A LOT, especially the first 6 months to year. I've told him this, but I wish he could hear it from another source.

Thanks in advance for any feedback!

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Dr Matthew Weiner & Dr John Pilcher have excellent videos (you tube) on a range of bariatric topics really aimed at you & not so much your family members but they are very informative & an excellent resource.

As for food, you may find by soft food you will be able to eat some of the same meals. Soups, stews, braises, mince dishes, etc. You may have to make ingredient substitutions, change cooking styles as you slowly reintroduce certain foods & ingredients but generally meals the whole family can eat - you’ll just have a much smaller portion. Great opportunity to try new healthier, more nutrient dense recipes & new/alternative ingredients. I live alone but regularly spent weekends with my 80+ yr old mother. She ate whatever I cooked & ate without issue or difficulty. I’d often have dinner at family or friends or go out to eat I just made sure my friends new what I could or couldn’t eat & made careful choices. I’d check menus before going out so I’d know what I could eat or what I could ask to be modified. I ate many of the meals I always did simply by making modifications to the recipes so it would be appropriate for my needs. My friend cooked for her family & basically ate that same meal from solid foods. For example making a Pasta dish - she’d use zucchini noodles or would just eat the meat sauce component. Having tacos - she’d eat the filling not the taco shell.

A bonus of your smaller portion size is leftovers. I freeze leftovers all the time. They are easy meals fir you to have when you don’t feel like cooking or for when your family wants something which isn’t a good option for you.

Your weight loss period is the time you use to establish better eating habits & food choices. When you stop losing you don’t go back to eating how & what you used to eat. That’s why every other diet we were on failed & we’d regain weight.

All the best.

Edited by Arabesque

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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